...to have massive alarm bells sounding over this?

[stookiesackhouse]

Been out for a meal with two friends. Lovely night, a couple of bottles of wine between the three of us. Anyway... booked a taxi home, I was last drop off.

The guy was pretty friendly, was 29, quite stocky, divulging details about his love life i.e. split up from my gf recently, hard to meet a nice girl etc.

Anyway, once my friends had got out I tried to continue convo as normal (felt uncomfortable but thought that may be down to my paranoia because I always feel vulnerable being alone in a taxi with a male) when it took an unpleasant turn along the lines of "sometimes I meet girls in the taxi I like but have to be careful because girls can cry rape can't they?". As soon as he said this my heart started beating faster :( but I tried to show no fear and said "yeah I guess you have to be careful professionally about chatting up clients etc/not worth losing your job..."

But then he persisted and said "I always try to put girls at ease who are on their own in with me by chatting to them normally because I know some girls worry about rape don't they?"

:( :( :(

This was just as we reached mine and I was desperate to get out. He did pull up but I couldn't get the door open. He opened it for me (all the while I was confidently chatting but feeling really vulnerable).

Anyway, I got in the house, and rang my friend straight away. She thinks I should report him tomorrow - she said what if I actually was a rape victim (I'm not btw) - or he is talking himself into it.

Anyway, I don't feel like I can because he now knows where I live and DP works away a lot. I am on my own tonight for instance :(

Am I being paranoid? Should I leave it? It has put me off getting in a taxi alone to be honest. I would rather not drink and take the car rather than put myself at risk :(

I had an unnerving experience when a male taxi driver took me to the airport alone once at about 4 in the morning. Mid winter so pitch dark. He started talking normally until we got into countryside then he sort of lowered his voice and said "lonely old road this...nobody around for miles". I know that's a totally innocent comment but it spooked me. However, arrived safely at destination and then my husband rang a couple of hrs later to say taxi driver had been round to our house with a £10 note saying I'd overpaid him by a tenner and he wanted to return it to dh. So I felt a bit bad about being so suspicious.

Yes, report him to the company.

My DH is a taxi driver and he installed CCTV in his car just to reassure both his passengers and himself. (After a nasty assault I must mention)

It's tricky, he has had issues with silly drunk girls running out of the taxi screaming he is trying to touch them etc. just to get out of paying the fare. Someone called his boyfriend whilst in the taxi to say he was trying it on with her...the list goes on. On occasion he refuses to take single girls and tells them to call and 'all-lady-drivers' company instead.

There are some predaotry taxi drivers and women have to be careful, I totally agree. Report his behaviour, it was not acceptable.

I am a great believer in trusting your instincts. Several years ago I got a cab home from a party with my daughter (who was around 6 at the time). It was about 1 in the morning (weekend close friends party, that's why I let daughter stay so late). A friend was in the cab with us, but as soon as she was dropped off there was something about the way the driver kept looking back at me. I also kept getting the thought that I was not getting home that night-followed by the thought that this would be ok if I was on my own, but not when I had DD with me (not ok obviously, but that's what I thought!!). I also kept getting the urge to shove my little DD out of the car while it was moving to keep her safe(?!?) I hadn't been drinking and had taken cabs hundred's of times at that time of night and never felt so uncomfortable. When we got to some lights he said 'I go straight ahead', I said 'No, you turn right'. He repeated 'Go straight ahead' a couple of times and this freaked me out because that was in the direction of an isolated woody area. Luckily the lights were red so I flung money at him and pushed my daughter out of the car.
Unfortunately, the people who had called the cab for us couldn't remember what company they used so I couldn't complain. I realise he didn't physically do anything, but my instincts have been proved right on many occasions.

Even just recounting that makes my heart beat faster...

Personally I would report it. You don't have to give a full character assassination or demand the taxi driver loses his job; just make some polite, objective observations about inappropriate topics of conversations for someone in his line of work and how they would be best steered clear of. If this was my company, I would want to know if any of my drivers were talking to lone females like this, however well-intentioned.

I second those saying you instincts were probably spot on (unless you are given to frequent bout of paranoia of course ). I have travelled in many taxis over the years and have only had two drivers who seriously creeped me out. I'm pretty sure the reason was them rather than me...

Report it. It might be a one off in which case they'll probably talk to him and nothing much will come of it. He might do this every time there is a woman alone in the taxi and yours might be the last report they needed to do something about it and stop him making other women feel uncomfortable. You can't possibly know if he always acts this way or not. All you can do is report it and let the taxi firm handle it.
YANBU for being upset by it though. It's threatening behaviour and you were in a vulnerable position.

Tell the cab company and never use them again. Report it as a concern about his professionalism. Tell them what he said and how it was a very uncomfortable journey and he didn't seem to realise that his conversation was inappropriate.

helloclitty - you mean you spoke to security about the cab driver while you were in his car? . I wouldn't have the nerve.

Yes I did...
He was clearly going the wrong way for quite sometime and was pulling into a disused industrial estate in a totally different part of town and refusing to even acknowledge me telling him he was going the wrong way. Just blanked me talking to him and carried on driving.

I also think you should report him. I feel concerned about the door not opening, was there something wrong with it? child locks on or something? That is quite serious, as it means you couldn't easily get away. You should mention that as well in your report.

Phone Crimestoppers about it (or speak to a bobby in person if you're ok with that), say that you don't want it investigating but you'd like it logged as intelligence - same way as if someone reported that a neighbour was selling drugs or whatever. He won't find out and it won't cause anything to happen to him. If he is a wrong'un, it'll help a picture emerge if there are other complaints against him.

It's definitely creepy though. There was a guy who used to work in our local supermarket who'd make a big fuss of the kids, then talk about paedophiles and how he worked in a prison once. You could see hackles going up from the other side of the shop.

There have been a few threads like this and because i get private taxi's through my work, regulary, i have spoken to the drivers about this and they have all said that any innappropriate conversations should be reported.

It is different if you are having a joke with a driver, then it can be part of the banter, but it must be customer led.

I have been told that drivers have had warnings, sometimes it is because they haven't realised how they have sounded and they are happy to be corrected.

My DP is a hackney driver and he always urges people to report this sort of thing (as well as overcharging).

You are not doing anything wrong by reporting it to the firm and you might not be the only one.

report him

that is totally inappropriate, you said the conversation turned once you were on your own he knew you were vulnerable and he took advantage of that he could have easily started talking about the weather/olympics to put you at ease but he did not want you to feel at ease

we should not have to put up with this shit any longer we should be able to get in a cab and feel at ease without the driver trying to either try it on or intimidate us why if we complain are we causing a fuss over nothing would you think that conversation was ok if this was your 18 year old daughter?

Report him to the taxi company but don't do it anonymously. I think your comments will be taken more seriously if you make your identity known.

I'm so pleased the tide on this thread as turned. I read the first several posts with real shock and anger that the OP would be told nothing could be done, etc.

It's definitely a matter to bring up with the local cab firm, but I would also follow it up with a phone call - anonymous if you like - to ask what safeguards there are against this happening in another local cab firm. Do they all take references from one another? I can see that it would be possible for an unscrupulous and bullying employer to ensure that malicious lies "follow" someone to another employment. However, allowing someone dodgy to "slip" out of his reputation in one firm is equally bad.

Just goes to show that one has to report these things whenever they happen, or else it can take ages to stop someone like this (and by "someone like this" I am also including a socially inept "innocent"). It is not all right even to "joke" about this sort of thing. It is frightening.

has turned, not as turned!

I don't understand all these people saying "maybe he's just socially awkward"???
a) he's not
b) someone with no people skills shouldn't be in a job with continuous contact with other people, especially vulnerable people (children, drunk, whatever)
c) giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they don't deserve it is a very dangerous thing to do

i agree would anyone really feel this way if this was their 18 year old daughter and if they do what are you teaching them that it is ok for men to behave in such a manner its just what some do its is not ok and we should all make a stand against men like this

I'd report the non-functioning door - it's a safety risk by any standards if one cannot be opened from the inside - and add the inappropriate conversation as an aggravating factor.

At first I thought you meant somebody on your night out. But if it was the taxi driver that is totally inappropriate. Was it a black cab or private hire.

It was inappropirate from anybody. Just thought I'd make that clear!

I'm with ozziegirl. I always call home if I'm in a taxi on my own late at night. I always put the drivers number in my phone too.

This is after 2 separate occasions where I've been walking home (not even in the bloody taxi) and mini cabs have pulled up beside me and offered me a lift 'for free'. Even though I've said no thanks and kept walking ignoring them, one of them just slowly drove along side me saying. What's your name? Just get in, you're pretty blah blah.

Totally unnerving and I hate being in cabs at night on my own now. I always try to get black cabs too, I feel safer.in them.for some reason.

Oh and what a stupid comment from luciemay!

Thanks for all the responses everyone. The consensus is to report it. I am inclined to do it anonymously in a week or so but supply a description of the driver.

I am going to speak to DP when he gets back today and also call my friend who's husband is a local policeman for advice.

There are some awful stories on here about bad experiences :(

The more I think about what happened today, the worse it seems.

The door handle had a trigger type mechanism you had to pull. I tried to open it but was unsuccessful. The guy opened it from my side. Maybe I just wasn't forceful enough; maybe it was childlocked. Either way it unnerved me because I was desperate to get out.

The firm was a local private hire firm.

For those who say they call home during taxi journeys, I do quite often.

I wish I had this time, but as soon as he turned the conversation to rape my instinct was just to keep talking confidently rather than make a call which I think would have alerted him to me being frightened iyswim.

The sad thing is, it's really put me off getting a taxi alone - or being a last drop off.

For anyone else worrying about this, I used to say "Just a minute, I'm getting your reg number" and either write it down or phone it to my voicemail at home. The only drivers who mind you doing this are the ones you need to keep an eye on! A lot of minicab firms now give you the reg number of the car that will pick you up if you're booking by phone. If they don't volunteer the info, you can always ask them. If a minicab driver was giving me the creeps, I would ring my own voicemail and have a pretend conversation about what time I'd be home, where I was and the cab I was in - similar to what you did, OP.

I can't say the sound of my own drunken voice was too edifying the next day but at least it was on record, should anything have happened. I do think we should all complain about drivers who act inappropriately; that's the only way to make operators take notice. The last time I complained about a sleazy driver, he turned out to be the firm's owner! He brought me a big bouquet the next time I used that firm (sweet) and then asked me out (not sweet)