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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Induction dh gone home to watch the Olympics

110 replies

needsomesunshine · 07/08/2012 23:05

I sent dh home 2 hrs ago to get some more essentials to add to my other two maternity bags. I am being induced and nothing is happening but I think he's gone to watch the Olympics. I told him to rest up & have some food but he's going a bit far. We only live 10 mins away from the hospital & he's been gone 2 hrs! I think I was being very reasonable by letting him go but if he is watching the Olympics I won't be best pleased. Is he being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 07/08/2012 23:06

No he isn't being unreasonable. Nothing happening is there?

Our hospital doesn't do inductions overnight.

coppertop · 07/08/2012 23:07

If nothing's happening, I'm surprised he's even allowed to be on the ward outside of visiting hours. Confused

kinkyfuckery · 07/08/2012 23:07

No he's not being unreasonable, he needs rest too. You can call him when things get happening.

MrMiyagi · 07/08/2012 23:08

You told him to go rest, he's home resting. YABVU

cantspel · 07/08/2012 23:08

No

what do you expect him to be doing instead?
I was induced with my 2nd child and it was 3 days before he was born. It would have been a bit daft if i expected him to sit in some out of the way corner of the hospital for those 3 days waiting for something to happen.

QuintessentialShadows · 07/08/2012 23:09

No he is not. Is this your first child?

When I was induced with our first, dh dropped me off to hospital to be induced for 8 am. I told him to just go to work, I would call him later. They decided to take my waters at 5 pm, so I called him then to say "something might happen soon, so go home, have dinner, and be back for 8 pm".

It took 36 hours from induction until my son was born.

grobagsforever · 07/08/2012 23:09

Well you will get lots of people telling you they gave birth while DH was working or golfing or whatever. Yawn. I don't see why you should be stuck in hospital alone if he has the option to visit.

Olympia2012 · 07/08/2012 23:11

The hospital will call once things kick off

cantspel · 07/08/2012 23:12

grobag It is gone 11 so hardly visiting time and i expect the others in the ward would like to get some sleep even if the op doesn't

Original poster
needsomesunshine · 07/08/2012 23:12

Our hospital allows partners to stay 24hrs & encourages overnight induction. This isn't my first and the midwife was surprised he was going tbh. I guess they just do things differently.
I suppose I'm a bit jealous of him sitting at home.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/08/2012 23:14

You told him to go home and rest up....so he went home and he's resting up Confused

What is or isn't on the TV is irrelevant

Good luck with the birth OP...hope it's all quick, safe and painless Thanks

reddaisy · 07/08/2012 23:15

YANBU.

FeakAndWeeble · 07/08/2012 23:15

I had an overnight induction and they wouldn't even let DH in Angry I was in established labour for six hours before they phoned him.

Hope the birth goes OK for you OP x

Original poster
needsomesunshine · 07/08/2012 23:15

Cantspel. Nobody's sleeping. Everyone's in labour or waiting to be induced! And their partners are here. It's not a sleep inducing environment. Midwife says they don't believe in letting you sleep until morning when being induced & will be back at 1am for a second go!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 07/08/2012 23:16

As you are clearly able to use your phone.. why not ring him and ask him what he is doing? Grin

bogeyface · 07/08/2012 23:16

He is probably asleep. I dont know what it is about hospitals but when I am a patient I cant sleep and when I am a visitor I struggle to stay awake! I felt absolutely shattered after being my best friends birth partner and I was only there 2.5 hours (lucky cow! :o)

So he probably had a sandwich and then dropped off. Be prepared from him to be back looking very sheepish and with a tell tale crease down his face ;-)

YANBU to feel abandoned, it isnt like you can just have a couple of hours off is it? But, there isnt much he can do at the moment, so I would try and sleep while you can, you will need it :)

Good luck!

whois · 07/08/2012 23:17

YABU

He might have fallen asleep, seeing as he was instructed to rest! Give him a call once something starts happening.

bogeyface · 07/08/2012 23:17

In our hospital partners are allowed in the labour ward 24 hours as the women are either in labour or being induced, so in that respect I dont think that the OP is BU.

greensnail · 07/08/2012 23:18

I sent DH home both times I was induced but he came back as soon as I wanted him there. If you want him back why don't you call him and tell him to come back?

cantspel · 07/08/2012 23:19

More fool them then and i think that is a pretty daft policy. It is called labour as it is pretty hard work and you should grab the rest when you can

bogeyface · 07/08/2012 23:21

Stop/start inductions are not a good idea, my son suffered dreadful after effects of being started on an induction that was then stopped due it being after 9pm. Once the process has started it is better that it is seen through to the end without breaks as it can cause distress to the baby (and of course, to the mother).

Original poster
needsomesunshine · 07/08/2012 23:22

Thanks bogey face. It is hard to sleep. I was trying to be reasonable but didn't want him to go tbh. Can't sleep with all the monitors going & they're coming back to do a second dose at 1. The lady next to me has just got off the phone & everyones chatting away. Things have changed so much since my last hospital stay.

OP posts:
bogeyface · 07/08/2012 23:27

I'd ring him now tbh. You will be able to tell from his voice if he was asleep. I'll bet you an epidural that he is Wink :o

PinkPepper · 07/08/2012 23:30

Ha my dp kept nodding off while I was pushing! Id Let him chill

ThisOnce · 07/08/2012 23:30

Your wishes should take precedence I think, if you want him there he should be there.

FWIW I think it can be hard to forgive feeling abandoned at a time like this, so if you need him, tell him.