I think a friend gave my child gelatine in food

[yetanothernamechnager]

I am very upset with him mum thinks I am being unreasonable

Lots of people don't know gelatine is animal derivative.

Lots of people don't realise sweets often have gelatine in, and especially if not veggy themselves won't necessarily think to check packaging.

I bet a lot of people would be amazed to discover a sweety has bits of animal in it.

YABU. Your friend wasn't disregarding your veganism in all likelihood. His worst crime is a dash of ignorance, hardly fair to be cross with him for that.

Oops I see thread has completely moved on! Ah well my post just for first post, now somewhat irrelevant.

jennifer

@Poopoo "Do you not make decisions for your children? What religion they will follow, what morals to try to teach them? Or do you teach them nothing at all and let them make up their own mind once they are grown ups?"

My shock is that ANYONE thinks it's ok to decide which religion a child will or should follow. Are you also going to decide your kids political affiliation for them? There's no difference.

YES - you give them information, and you let them decide for themselves when they are a) old enough and b) interested enough.

OP , I bet you are sorry you asked now .

I trust you are completely ignoring the judgy posters.

I wouldn't get too stressed over a one off lapse as I bet there has been numerous other times when members of your family have accidentally used animal products or inadvertently caused something to die. It's just not possible to be a 'pure' vegan. You need to do you best and not worry about it too much.

Veganism is very restrictive- think some cheeses, soaps, shoes, detergents, carpets, sugars. Etc, etc I am sure OP knows this but some people just think vegan is another word for vegetarian. I remember watching a vegan guy trying to strip all the 'living' moss off a log he wanted to burn, seemed like hard work for a bit of moss, but each to their own.

I am a meat eater myself .

What i don't get is this persistent insistence that veggie children are somehow missing out, or that they have control freak parents, or that meat is some amazing thing they should be given, or that the veggie kids are all peering sadly at the carvery in brewers fayre etc. It's not that fascinating or weird a choice.

In my opinion what vegie kids are missing out on is choice. I think it is controling to limit a childs diet because of a personal belief. I don't think parents should make food for their kids that they wouldn't choose to eat, but I do think they should allow the child choice when out of the house.

Maybe I am just more liberal than some of you, I would trust my child's opinion (so long as I had given them the facts.)

In no way am I vegetarian bashing, I grew up eating a vegie diet and now very rarely eat meat especially since being pregnant meat makes me feel sick I do however think that children deserve choice and expecting a 9 year old to follow a vegan diet when outside the house is not choice. If that child has choosen to eat a restricted diet then they need educating as to what they can and can't safely eat and they need to be encouraged to question any foods that may be an issue.

It was many pages ago now, but I wanted to correct the impression given by one poster that all schools use halal meat. The city I live in certainly does not; I know as was involved in a discussion about bringing it in (was decided against). It does sound a bit Daily Mail to say we're all eating halal.
Crikeyohare you might not like it, but of course that is what any religious family will do - they would think it wrong to do otherwise than bring them up within the faith they profess themselves! What the follow when they're a bit older is different. Just as most mumsnetters (it appears) bring kids up to take turns at the playground, not eat at greggs and not to have their ears pierced - but all bets are off once they get old enough to decide for themselves!

I worked in an abbatoir on the line and killed numerous animals as part of my training. It didn't put me off eating meat at all. (and I was fit as a butchers dog!) In fact I was surprised at how little it bothered me.

I don't like force fed foie gras, animals being transported long distances, growth hormones/over breeding, old style raised veal, overly intensive farming of any type, I also don't like ritual slaughter although I think if it is done carefully it is probably ok. ( I do think meat should be labelled if ritually killed).

However, killing and eating animals is ok with me, and, yes, I have always told my DC's the truth about where their meat comes from.

Mine were vegetarian as babies and toddlers but both asked for meat at different ages (DD was five, DS was four). I had always said that it was up to them so I explained the reasons I chose not to eat meat, they accepted those reasons, and then asked for sausages.
At home they eat a mixed diet (DH is not vegetarian) and at school they mostly choose meat.

It is MY lifestyle choice, not one to be imposed.
OP if your son is passionate about being a vegan all power to him, if he's not maybe he should be allowed to explore different options at school/friends houses?

I may have missed it but has the OP said what the child might have been given.
And why she is getting upset when she doesn't actually know if it happened.

I think she said that she thought it was some sort of jelly sweet, dante.

OP mentioned haribo sweets.

Y a b a nob

Ah I see. I remember taking a load of haribo to work (we live near the haribo shop and its really cheap). 3 members of my team were Muslim and said they couldn't have any because of the gelatine. This was after another Muslim girl tucked in.
She didn't think and neither did I. It never entered my head.
So imo yabu. Its not something everyone would think about.
Also dh has a severe allergic reaction to quinine, found in tonica water and bitter lemon. As his mum also does, we treat the kids as they do as the go advised they could not be tested until they are 12. This is due to the extreme reaction dh and his mum does, anaphlatic (think that's spelt wrong) shock. When they go to parties I tell the parents before hand and what quinine is likely to be found in. As its generally drinks i ask them to kept to water.
If your child can not have certain foods it is YOUR job to inform the parents. As it is not their diet they will not know everything.

The gp advised.

Great wind-up, well done OP.

windsock

As I said before - '9 year old accidentally eats Haribo' doesn't seem terribly plausible.

Especially since the average child is exposed to Haribos more than sunshine from the age of 3, so should be well versed in Haribo avoidance by the age of 9.

Carry on like that OP and your child will never be invited anywhere again.

I think you need to get a grip. Nobody died. Well... apart from the poor animal that was SLAUGHTERED to give up the essence to make gelatine.

Exactly clementatlee. The op is imposing her own choice on her child who shoipuld be given tone freedom of making a choice about his diet, unless he has an allergy

The animal would have been killed to make burgers and shoes.. the feet were used to make sweets, I see that a sensible use of waste material!

Piglet - none of my dses got much choice in their diets when they were 9 - i was pretty much fully in charge of their diet at that age - I don't think there's a big difference between what I did, and what the OP is doing. Like I said earlier, I think parenting means deciding this sort of stuff for your children, when they aren't mature enough/experienced enough to make those decisions for themselves. It's parenting, not imposing your will.

I haven't read all this so sorry if it has been said before.

I know more kids with peanut allergies than vegan kids.

My son's friend has a very severe peanut allergy. He has an excellent social life and his mother has always sent his food with him to 'tea', parties etc along with his epipens because it is literally a matter of life or death for him.

She does not expect other people to know the ins and outs of his tricky diet. If it means that much to you, you should do the same.

If I were your friend, I wouldn't be arsed to have your child for tea again tbh if a fuss was made.

So YABU.

It is though stg, it's not like he is 19 months. When I went to a party at that age I like the other kids had a choice of what food I ate, I did not have mt mum hanging round saying you can't eat that. As he gets older than you will have less control over what he eats