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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that SIL has started forward facing her DD?

168 replies

GnocchiNineDoors · 04/08/2012 21:48

She is 9 months. I know this is the 'minimum' age, however when I said "god, they grow so fast didnt realise she was passed the minimum weight" she said it was age. I replied that I thought it was weight, but apparently "some are age, some are weight"

Confused

I have seen the videos of 'internal decapitation' and have read up on rear facing and the benefits and want to do it as long as possible.

I actually feel cross that they don't look into these things and have turned her forward.

OP posts:
brdgrl · 04/08/2012 23:25

Car seats are an expensive item. I think it's really offensive for people to suggest, as they have on this thread tbh, that parents who comply with the current law in using forward facing seats are being in some way neglectful and just not trying hard enough to pay for a rearward facing one.

See, I can only think of one post which even comes close to suggesting that. If you are refering to my post, I posted about the RF car seat I bought, because the OP was asking for advice. I haven't said or, I think, implied that anyone who doesn't make the same choice as me is neglectful - I have posted about why I did what I did even though it was a difficult expense, partly because I am one of the people who doesn't have an extra couple of hundred quid lying around. That was my experience and my mindset.

GreyElephant · 04/08/2012 23:26

DC1 was rear facing in a BeSafe until 2.5, then we faced it forward. Shame to have spent £350 on a rear facing seat and face it forward (yes it does both FF and RF) but she was so car sick facing backwards i was washing the seat after EVERY journey. Taking it apart to wash it was not good for the seat or it's safe fitting and DC1 started to cry whenever we tried to put her in the car. So we bit the bullet and faced her forward. She is much happier now and doesn't vomit.

Hoping DC2 will not be so car sick and stay rear facing until 4.

My sis laughed when she realised DC1s expensive RF seat was FF, in a 'told you so' kind of way. Grrrrrr. All her DCs are FF. She thinks RF is a silly posh London Mums fad, like not having the MMR jab. Roll my eyes.

RawShark · 04/08/2012 23:30

sheeps the child goes on car seat, cushion on child, and seat belt round cushion. From some reviews may be harder to get older child to adapt to this system. If they are good at stiffening themselves (you know, like when you try and put a cat in a box) I woudl say it would be hard to get on them safely

The cushion is high enough on chest apparently to reduce whiplash. I can't see that 5 point harness woudl be much safer, it is just that restriction is around chest and not shouders.

I basically went on Which and other websites and read EVERYTHING. From which I came to the conclusion that if there was one answer for everyone there woudln't be so many reviews. It was most effectiuve in lateral impacts rather than head on, but I guess this is better than you LO having wriggled free of her straps!

peanutMD · 04/08/2012 23:31

Raw can I pick your brain about the cushion seats please?

Do you just sit the seat in the car like a stage 2-3 booster and secure with a 3 point belt or is there the usual group 1 rooting system?

I only ask because I don't drive so it would be ideal to just move in and our of cars as required which isn't that often tbh.

BertieBotts · 04/08/2012 23:31

Have you looked at the 5 point plus site? That shows the most common way that children escape 5 point harness seats - they also sell a thing which blocks the gap they get through. No matter how tight you do the straps this gap will always be there because of the shape of the seated body.

With the impact shield seats the design is apparently such that the spine would curve forwards over the shield and so there is less strain on the neck than with a normal FF 5 point harness seat.

peanut They fasten into the car using the seat belt, this threads through rigid metal guides on the impact shield which holds it across the child's abdomen area. Some models have isofix as well, though, although I think this is slightly pointless as isofix and seatbelt secure in different ways and unlike with a harnessed seat, the seatbelt isn't attached to the isofix point.

I find the impact shield seats best as a non driver as they're very light, easy to fit and universal. (although, I am confused as to whether buckle crunch occurs with this seat as the buckle does touch the seat itself in some cars, but I was told it didn't. Surely it must do, though.)

Isofix doesn't have any safety benefits in and of itself, the benefit of isofix is that it takes away the potential for human error in fitting.

peanutMD · 04/08/2012 23:32

Oops x post, ignore me :o

BertieBotts · 04/08/2012 23:32

xposted, but hope that answers your question!

WildWorld2004 · 04/08/2012 23:33

I never knew u got rear facing car seats for bigger/older babies. Over 12 months seems quite old to me. I thought forward facing would be safer as then u can see the baby when u are driving.

sheepsgomeeping · 04/08/2012 23:35

That's really interesting raw, thanks for the info, I've got to sort this out as she scares me silly

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 04/08/2012 23:36

So, am I right in thinking that although all safe, optimum safety is rear facing, followed by an impact shield ff seat, followed by a standard ff seat?

OP posts:
RawShark · 04/08/2012 23:36

Buckle crunch? Rooting system?

HOlds head. Cries softly. NO wonder some people choose to believe the manfacturers Hmm

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 04/08/2012 23:37

Wild - its safest to keep the child rf as long as possible as their body can handle impact better when rf than ff. whether you can see them is irrelevant.

OP posts:
RawShark · 04/08/2012 23:38

It's very light and easy to transfer. May not be suitable for all though, I woudl reocmmend a trial beforehand. I got my from www.olivers-baby-care.co.uk/

As far as I remember they did refund if your didn;t get on with it - but you had to pay carriage back, not cheap.

peanutMD · 04/08/2012 23:39

That's fab Bertie thank you :o

Think when the time comes, which may be a while given I'm not even due until march I will definitely be looking into these kind of seats for ear of use and safety.

Btw if anyone us interested the Kiddy Energy V2 is on offer for £140 at preciouslittleone.com

RawShark · 04/08/2012 23:40

bertiebotts thanks for the proper technical stuff. I hope I knew this when I bought it and it merely faded from my memory.

peanutMD · 04/08/2012 23:41

:o at Raws amnesia!

plusonemore · 04/08/2012 23:47

My SIL put her ds in a high back booster st about 10 months! One that just uses car seat belt!

ReshapeWhileDamp · 04/08/2012 23:51

OP, if you feel that she's making a decision without the facts, I think you have a moral obligation to offer her that information, disinterestedly - but then not to feel 'annoyed' if she still went ahead with her current decision.

DS1 was RF until about 11 months, I think. If I knew then what I've read now, I'd have kept him in his first seat for much longer. I think all my other friends had moved their babies onto FF seats by that age, regardless of weight or size - almost as if it were a milestone to be passed. There always seems a lot of pressure to move your baby onto the next thing. Nobody seems to want to admit that this comes mostly from manufacturers. Hmm

DS2 is about 10.5 kg and still in his RF first car seat at 19 months. Grin His head is still protected, he is still 2.5 kg under the weight limit and though his legs aren't straight, he seems perfectly happy to flex them a little, and if he wants to straighten them, he sticks them up the back of the seat. We're going to look at ERF seats next.

iknowwho · 04/08/2012 23:53

It is the OP's issue iknowwho. That argument does not apply when it comes to a child's safety.

I can understand people being concerned and disagreeing but the SIL isn't actively abusing the child. If there was a case of abuse I would expect theOP to get involved but all she can do is offer advice and then leave it alone and concentrate on her own kids.

MrsLionHeart · 04/08/2012 23:54

Just want to pass on the info that Volvo makes a sells a rear facing car seat which is exactly like the Britax Multitech (actually, it IS the multitech, just branded for Volvo) which I bought for just under 150 GBP. Not bad for extended rear facing, a good 100 pounds cheaper than sold elsewhere, and fits it many cars. We now have a Volvo, but previously used it in our Ford Focus. You can order it through any Volvo dealer, though you may need to provide the part number, as many staff may not be aware of the part. (Don't have the number at on me, but if you need it you can pm me and I'll find it for you).

My 3.2 DS is still rear facing - a big strapping lad in size 6 trousers, he is very comfy, though will have to surrender his seat for DS2 when he outgrows his current seat due to weight.

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 05/08/2012 00:01

Ooh a product code would be good, we have a local Volvo dealership.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/08/2012 00:58

You can give all the information but wether or not it will be acted on....

I was having a 'conversation' (not arguement, I really CBA) with MIL, regarding my SIL 2dc.
The laws regarding DC in front seat used to be 12 yo / 135 cm, but the law has changed. But the advice is, the safest place for children is in the back.

MIL said my SIL DC travelled one in the front, one in the back.And coming home, they swapped over.
There are 3 seats in the back, 2 DC.
The youngest was 9-10, definately under 12 yo.

I said "Why take the risk, it's safer for them to be in the rear seats".
MIL: "Well he's a policeman, he should know".

At this point, I gave up.
Yes he should know. And in his line of work, chances are he's going to attend an RTA with a child in the front, injured or fatally injured.
Maybe this is already the case.

But they are their DC (so bugger all to do with me) and I am too PFB, cotton wooley wrappy uppy.
Allegedly.


This is the same MIL who expected me to take one of her GC in my car which had 2 rear seat belts (not even a lapbelt)  which were holding 2 car seats. (DH in front)

She <span class="italic">couldn't</span> understand why I refused to transport a child with <strong>no seat belt at all</strong>.

Head -Desk.
onetwothreefourfive · 05/08/2012 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 05/08/2012 09:28

I have the kind of brain which holds onto all sorts of random information Grin

Sometimes it's useful but mostly it just takes up space, so my short term memory is atrocious.

CouthyMow · 05/08/2012 09:31

After reading the post about car seats only lasting 6 years, should I be worrying about using a car seat over 7 years old when DS3 was tiny? I didn't get a new first stage car seat for him, just used the one I had from DS2's travel system, but there is a 7yr2month age gap between them?

I bought a new, cheap car seat for him, FF, lasts from 9 months to 4 years, for £45. It will get used a maximum of 8 times, never for a journey longer than 30 miles.

I dislike FF for such a young DC, did even when FF was normal from 6mo or less when my older DC (14, 10 & nearly 9) were younger, but given it is used so rarely, I can't justify the cost, and a seat that fits in one of the cars being used won't fit in the others.

If I was using a car more often, it is something I would have spent money on, but for a £210 car seat, twice a year over 3 years works out to £35 a journey...