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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say something to the bus driver who's son touched up my kids

34 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 04/08/2012 16:34

I'm currently sat in a bus .

His son has been convicted of numerous child sex offences.
The driver of the bus I'm on 'the dad' sat there huffing and puffing and shaking his head mocking us parents of the various children his son touched . I kept my cool in court for the sake of getting a conviction I didn't want to hinder it in anyway .

I really wanna call him a fucking scumbag .

He doesn't recognise me

OP posts:

JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 16:36

I'd hope he has his eyes on the road.

how can he be mocking you if he doesnt recognise you?

TallDwarf · 04/08/2012 16:37

He probably didn't believe his son could turn out to be so disgusting. Give him a break, it's his son that did it, not him.

Olympia2012 · 04/08/2012 16:37

I don't see how the parent can be responsible for sons actions here..... He might feel bad enough. And he is working.

Don't do it

Dprince · 04/08/2012 16:38

So this man is mocking you, although he doesn't know its you? Who to?

Olympia2012 · 04/08/2012 16:38

Sorry, your op isn't very clear...,, the dad was mocking in court?

JeezyPeeps · 04/08/2012 16:38

Say nothing. YANBU to want to, what an awful thing to happen, and what a dreadful way for the father to act in court. But the son was convicted and justice was done, presumably.

Dprince · 04/08/2012 16:38

And what is he saying that is 'mocking'?

JeezyPeeps · 04/08/2012 16:40

Dprince, he was mocking in court, or at the time of the trial (it's not entirely clear, granted)

boohoohooshouldhavewongold · 04/08/2012 16:40

Whys the dad a scumbag? Sorry not understanding what your saying? Although I admit must be bloody awful having to see any of the mans family.

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2012 16:42

I think the OP means he was shaking his head in court?

Don't say anything OP, it won't make you feel any better and if he was being a twat in court it won't make a jot of difference to him.

Sorry you're having to put up with this situation.

JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 16:43

Most parents will support/back their own child to the hilt until confronted with irrefutable evidence to the contrary. One would hope they would do it in a dignified way.

How was the father mocking you in court? I would have thought he would have been thrown out for contempt if he had been open about it.

Dprince · 04/08/2012 16:46

Ah that makes more sense. what was he saying in court? why wasn't anything done in court if he was openly mocking you. That's disgraceful.
I wouldn't say anything. Remain above him. Tbf he may genuinely believed you were lying. It must be hard for a parent to find out that out.

McHappyPants2012 · 04/08/2012 16:46

It was his son not him.

Tbh he could still phone the police and say you was intimidating him at work or disturbing the peace if you make a scene.

But what an awful thing for you to have to gone through.

missymoomoomee · 04/08/2012 16:47

I honestly don't think I could have got on the bus and not said anything (and I would have been wrong to do so) I would have waited for the next bus.

McHappyPants2012 · 04/08/2012 16:47

That's if you do approach him

JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 16:48

Confronted by that with your own child - you would fervently hope the allegations were unfounded and your child was acquitted.

How old are the children involved? Is the drivers son an adult?

MadamFolly · 04/08/2012 16:50

How was he mocking you in court. I think its understanable that he would want to disbelieve the accusations against his son, hence the head-shaking.

No good can come of saying anything but I wou;d not be able to resist the worst glare I could muster on getting off the bus.

Windsock · 04/08/2012 16:51

Normally if there is this in court the sentencer will notice him and tell him to stop.

Original poster

Shinyshoes1 · 04/08/2012 17:00

Sorry my OP wasn't clear.
The court case finished last November throughout the daily trial which lasted 5 weeks his dad sat there mocking us parents , shaking his head and huffing like what was being said was a joke. Pulling faces as if to say "well that isn't true what a joke' and basically trying to get us to react.
We didn't as we thought it was affect the outcome of the trial .
He (the dad ) acted like a knob throughout.
I don't want him to forget what his son did . I wanted him to remember and not be so happy to the passengers that got on the bus .
I'm sorry none of this makes sense.
It took everything I had not to shout out 'scumbag fucker'
I got off and walked round to the front of the bus as if I was getting on again and glared at him. I'm not sure if he recognised me . He probably thought I was wierd

OP posts:

Olympia2012 · 04/08/2012 17:07

So his son is now a convicted sex offender?

TallDwarf · 04/08/2012 17:09

I am very sorry you and your family have had to go through something like this, but I still don't think you should be directing your anger towards the dad.
You don't know how you would react if it was your son that committed the crime. You may well go down the same route as he obviously did in thinking that the claims were ludicrous.

Direct your anger towards the son, he committed the crime.

Olympia2012 · 04/08/2012 17:10

I don't understand why you 'don't want him to be so happy to the passengers who hot on the bus'??

But then the passengers would be complaining about his attitude.... And so it goes on... His job is with the public, I don't understand why you want this to keep going on

JumpingThroughHoops · 04/08/2012 17:11

I dont think he will forget what his son did. But he isn't responsible for his sons actions. I can however believe that he was shaking his head in disbelief at what he was hearing.

op, very sorry for what your family went through. You showed yourself to be the bigger and more dignified person today

Petsinmyolympicpudenda · 04/08/2012 17:14

None of us want to believe our children would be capable of such crimes.

He didn't do it though his son did and his life shouldn't be ruined for his sons mistakes.

missymoomoomee · 04/08/2012 17:16

Honestly, putting myself in his shoes, if my son was in court for something I didn't believe, I think I may have reacted the same way as his Dad. As a parent you generally see the best in your children and you really wouldn't think they would do such a thing (this being said without knowing details of the case or what evidence etc).

Putting myself in your shoes I would be fuming and I would want him and everyone else to know exactly who his son was and how he mocked everyone in court and would find it very hard to restrain myself. I would have had to take myself out of the situation.

So sorry you and your family have been through such a shit time and still have to be reminded by having to face his family.

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