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AIBU?

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Original poster

London Childhood

237 replies

daisiessunflowersandtulips · 04/08/2012 14:57

In Laws are adamant we should move out of London when the baby's born. Apparently it isn't a "good environment to bring up children in". which they wouldn't know because they never bloody visit. I am Hmm to this because I grew up in London alright, but they seem to think I was terribly deprived.

Here are the things I missed out on (and which my in-laws always bring up)
-playing in the street. Neither I, siblings, friends, cousins, ANYONE I know who grew up in our parts of London (leafy zones 2-4) ever did this.
-knowing who our neighbours were. Well we knew who the ones on either side were and they didn't have kids. We didn't know any of the other kids to say hello to and frankly that was fine by me.

Here are the things we got
-being allowed to get ourselves to and from school at a younger age than DP and his siblings and other friends outside London because schools comparatively closer, roads busy in a suburban sort of way with traffic lights not an A-road busy way.
-going to wonderful parks to play, Heath, Golders Hill, Clissold Park, etc. Parents came with when we were younger and then we could go by ourselves.
-being able to go to and from friends houses independently by 9 or 10 if if were short walking distance or 11-12 if it were longer walk or bus by ourselves and not have to hang around getting lifts
-loads of museums, cinemas, art galleries with kids stuff on

Now London might not be to everyones taste and I TOTALLY get that. But you're telling me it's worse than some pissy town in the middle of nowhere with no transport links to bring up a child? Seriously?

OP posts:
helloclitty · 05/08/2012 17:30

Leicester squalor!!!! ha ha!

pissadilly circus

JumpingThroughHoops · 05/08/2012 17:34

The only thing I don't like about London is the tube, I avoid it as far as possible. Too many years wedged in the sardine can, closer to people than I've ever been sexually intimate within the confines of my own bed! I've had more people pressed into my armpits than I've had hot dinners.

Denise34 · 05/08/2012 17:34

Define "uncultured".

Lastofthepodpeople · 05/08/2012 17:36

I grew up in the country, but have been living in London for sometime now. I have a 2yo DS and don't want him growing up here. We're intending to move out as soon as we can.
I can think of a lot of little reasons for and against, but thinking about it there's only one big one:
I want my son to have a similar childhood to the one I had - where I pretty much ran wild, barefoot, and played in streams and climbed trees.
London parks are lovely but tame and not at all the same thing. Children will grow up perfectly fine without these things but that doesn't mean they're not incredible.

helloclitty · 05/08/2012 17:38

do children still run wild in the country side nowadays lastofthepodpeople, serious question btw.

JumpingThroughHoops · 05/08/2012 17:38

I want my son to have a similar childhood to the one I had - where I pretty much ran wild, barefoot, and played in streams and climbed trees. London parks are lovely but tame and not at all the same thing.

Depends where you live - London is so vast - you do get all that in the 'subs. We have a lot of woods and common land round these parts.

motherinferior · 05/08/2012 17:41

I really don't feel that my daughter's state secondary is going to send her out semi-literate and feral into the world. She'd have to forget how to read, to start with.

JeanBodel · 05/08/2012 17:45

OP, you have my sympathies. My own in-laws also think that the perfect childhood = the childhood their own kids had.

They grew up in a village. They brought up their kids in a village. Therefore, all children should be brought up in a village. You can't reason with that kind of logic.

If I won the lottery I would move to London tomorrow, kids & all.

AmberLeaf · 05/08/2012 17:51

Re barefoot in streams etc. You know you really can do all of that in london!

bigTillyMint · 05/08/2012 17:53

Aaah, well we don't get the tube (partly because we aren't on it, despite being in zone 2) - I walk 10/15mins to and from work, DH cycles 30mins to and from work and the DC walked 3mins across the road to their old primary and now get the bus(es) or cycle 15mins to their secondary school.

Public transport, though busy at peak times, is pretty good in London though.

RubyFakeNails · 05/08/2012 17:55

I guess its also influenced by your own values.

(Am aware I always get flamed for this)... I'm not a fan of the countryside, country 'pursuits etc, i have little time for people who aren't familiar with city life and aren't streetwise. Its probably because thats my life so to not understand it is foreign to me and I don't expect these people to be that enamoured with me. So for me raising the DCs to be streetwise and city people is important and important to the things I want them to achieve, so I guess that is more the wider aim of me bringing up children in London.

Completely agree that the tube and tourist areas are hard work but as few actually 'live' in them, particularly with families its ok. I find the rest of life much easier than say my parents who live out in the burbs of Upminster.

saintlyjimjams · 05/08/2012 18:09

I know what Last means.

When we lived in London we were a short hop from the country (eventually), but it wasn't wild enough for me - it was very pretty but very tame. I love standing on the middle of Dartmoor on a day when the wind is blowing so hard you can't speak, or being in the sea in January. It makes me feel alive. I suspect ds1 and ds3 are the same. I wouldn't be that surprised if ds2 ends up falling in love with city life.

London never really did it for me.

But like I've already said horses for courses.

Ephiny · 05/08/2012 18:22

I do love those 'wild' countryside places to visit on holiday (Dartmoor, Scottish Highlands, Snowdonia etc), but much as I like the romanticised idea of it, I suspect actually living somewhere like that would be much harder work than being in London.

I guess maybe some people see it the other way round, and for them London might be great for a day out or a city break, but not somewhere they'd want to live.

Honestly I'd never have thought of myself as a big-city person before coming to London, but it's certainly grown on me, and it's hard to imagine living anywhere else now. I've even gotten used to the Tube, and it really doesn't bother me much even when it's hot and crowded.

bigTillyMint · 05/08/2012 18:26

Yes Ephiny, I like to visit those "wild" places on holiday, but can't imagine ever wanting to live thereSmile

GetOrfMoiRing · 05/08/2012 18:30

Getting out and about in a city like London (despite the crush etc) is a lot easier than commuting in a rural area.

I remember the tooth grinding panic which used to set in when I had to get the bus home from work - 12 mile journey which used to take an hour because it went all around the houses, 2 buses an hour and they were always late. Used to stand there panicking about having to pick dd up from the childminder etc. And then the tourists. Used to add god knows on the journey home in the summer months following all the caravans and the bastards people with surfboards on their car roofs. Grin

I like living somewhere with buses every 10 minutes, and where the nearest mainline train station is a ten minute walk, and not an hour's drive.

saintlyjimjams · 05/08/2012 19:12

I quite like London for a weekend but then I've had enough. I actually live in a city (would prefer to live in the middle of nowhere, but a city is more practical for us atm) but it's a very short drive to the moors/sea for the wild fix, and I can see wild stuff from my window.

Aboutlastnight · 05/08/2012 19:22

The difference for me is that I can walk tk the centre of Glasgow in about 20 mins or hop on the subway and it will take 4 mins. You can always park, the parks are great, you can walk, walk everywhere.

I guess I have all the benefits of a big city without the hassle of it being so flippin big

RawShark · 05/08/2012 19:24

It really is none of their business - What does your partner say?

PS I choose not to live in London so I can buy a house with a garden (completely impossible in London on my salary) and haev a 20 minute commute to work so I see DS for an hour and a half each morning and evening. These are my choices, other people make different ones. I have visited London with family/friends with kids etc and it was really nice although when I lived in London I did find everywhere was usually 45mins to an hour away - so if I did live in a "pissy little town", I could easily get to another one with more facilities in in that time. Oh and two national aprks, science museums etc.

Having grown up in the country I can't recommend it - very very very dull. NO buses after 6. Only 2 buses on a wednesday. Only pleasant in retrospect through the pink lenses of nostalgia.

RawShark · 05/08/2012 19:26

Ruby fake nails - Grin at living on the tube

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 05/08/2012 19:31

I grew up in the countryside (in the 90s/00s) it was DULL.

My parents think I am mental for many things, and included in that is that I refuse to raise my children in a village. We are in a smallish town. Hmm

I would love to bring children up in London - absolute dream - but out of our price range! My DSis lives in London and I think she will stay even when she has DC.

RawShark · 05/08/2012 19:40

Oooooooh TeWi how is your small town to live in - do you have to entertain your children at home by seeing friends and playing games, or do you merely drag them aroud the streets searching for paninis and staring at ou-of-towners?

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 05/08/2012 19:44

Eh?

I come from countryside. Have moved to a small town. It's much like the countryside but with actual buses and other actual children at the park.

RawShark · 05/08/2012 19:49

I was just being arsey about some of the snarky comments about small towns on here, sorry, couldn't help it.

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 05/08/2012 19:52

Small towns are okay. Ours is fairly multi-cultural for various reasons, but not very mixed. Everyone I meet is or is married to an Engineer!

If I could drive, I would probably be perfectly happy. Because I can't, it's a bit of a pita sometimes.

RawShark · 05/08/2012 19:59

For health reasons sometimes I can't drive so I do appreciate a good PT system......one reason why could never live in the country.

I have friends who live in Cumbria who admit the food, public transport, entertainment etc is not at all great BUT they love the area so much it outweighs that. Can;t ever imagine feeling that way myself.