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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that West Mercia Police need to take this poster off their website

246 replies

DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 11:18

here

they have already apologised for another poster story but the poster on their site is, in my opinion, also pretty offensive.

"Alcohol features in two thirds of all rapes, we want people to enjoy the party season and let their hair down without letting their guard down"

where are their campaigns aimed at men or aimed at taking women seriously?

OP posts:
MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 16:01

How is it different?

How about, let's say... I have a majority of male friends. Chances are, were I to walk home after a night out with a group, I'd be one of only two or three females. There's been times I've been the only woman in the group.

Given that women are more likely to be raped by someone they know, how do I protect myself, if I'm on a night out with a male only group. Do I walk home alone to avoid being raped by someone I know, thus "putting myself at risk", or do I walk home in a male only group, to avoid being raped by a stranger, thus... well... whaddaya know... "putting myself at risk"?

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 16:01

"Going down the road at night dressed how you want, breasts out etc is different to being raped by a partner in your own home"

I don't get what you are saying here, can you explain what you mean a bit more? What is the 'etc'?

Did you mean to say

"Going down the road at night dressed how you want, breasts out etc and getting raped is different to being raped by a partner in your own home?

If that's not what you mean can you explain what you mean?

OP posts:
mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:02

you're damned if you do and you're damned if you dont?

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 16:03

that was to mame11

I would really appreciate it if you could explain what you mean... thank you.

OP posts:
mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:03

Yes duelingfanjo, sorry I wasn't too clear there

BlackOutTheSun · 03/08/2012 16:07

But what if I had been drinking at home then raped how would that be different

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 16:08

sorry - you meant to say "Going down the road at night dressed how you want, breasts out etc and getting raped is different to being raped by a partner in your own home?"

why/how is it different?

OP posts:
mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:09

If you are drinking at home and raped, then it's not like you are walking home alone from the pub. As you are at home there is no walking home to do as you are already there......

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 16:10

But how is being raped by a partner different to being raped by a stranger?

Or how does the setting make any difference?

What's the variable? The rapist? Or the setting?

mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:11

Well rape is rape and is a truly awful crime non the less. The circumstances as to where you are raped is different here

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 16:13

But how?

Someone has raped you, in each scenario.

Why are they "different"

BlackOutTheSun · 03/08/2012 16:13

So rape is rape then why does it matter what the woman wad doing?

PurityBrown · 03/08/2012 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tittytittyhanghang · 03/08/2012 16:15

Wonders if there was a spate of rapes in a certain area should the police just keep it to themselves and not warn the general public, for fear of 'blaming'?

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 16:16

"If you are drinking at home and raped, then it's not like you are walking home alone from the pub. As you are at home there is no walking home to do as you are already there...... "

no, still don't understand. So it's the walking home which contributes to the rape?
If I walk home from work and am raped it's different to if I am raped in work even though I am sober both times?

You are confusing me now.

Back to what you originally wanted to say

"Going down the road at night dressed how you want, breasts out etc and getting raped is different to being raped by a partner in your own home?"

My question was 'if I walked down the road sober with my breast out" would that be ok. If I was sober but walking hoime at night with my breast out it wouldn't be ok? So it's my breasts which are the problem?

or should I not be out at night drunk or sober?

You've managed to confuse me. Can you be clearer?

OP posts:
tittytittyhanghang · 03/08/2012 16:17

I got raped in the safest place of all, and by the person I should have been able to trust most.

Isn't that one difference, your partner you are supposed to trust the most. Im not saying that all men are not trustworthy, but certainly that your partner is supposed to be more trustworthy.

messyisthenewtidy · 03/08/2012 16:18

Isn't it about what works though? Up until now the policy has always been to tell women to cover up, not to drink too much, to not "get themselves" into certain circumstances and that hasn't been successful. It hasn't done anthing to change the strongly-held idea (in fact it probably reinforces it) that any woman that lets her guard down is fair game.

That's what needs to be challenged IMO and that is far better done by the "just because she's drinking, doesn't mean she wants sex" line of campaign because there so much misunderstanding amongst men about what actually constitutes rape as opposed to "just trying it on". We need to eradicate this "you can't blame a bloke for trying" attitude that is everywhere in the media.

mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:18

While you can walk down the road at night, alone with skimpy clothes and in an ideal world you shouldn't be raped. We are not in an ideal world and sadly these things do happen. It's up to you what you want to do but you could always not walk down the road doing the above

Now being in your own home with a partner where, as you say, you are at greater risk. That doesn't involve walking down the road at night after getting drunk

tittytittyhanghang · 03/08/2012 16:19

My question was 'if I walked down the road sober with my breast out" would that be ok. If I was sober but walking hoime at night with my breast out it wouldn't be ok? So it's my breasts which are the problem?

No your breasts aren't the problem. You are saying that, no-one else is.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 16:19

sorry - I still want to know why it's different. One rape is different to the other rape - why? It's all rape isn't it? Are people saying one is worse than the other?

OP posts:
PurityBrown · 03/08/2012 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tittytittyhanghang · 03/08/2012 16:21

DJ, no one is suggesting one rape is worse than another, other than you. They are different circumstances though.

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2012 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mame11 · 03/08/2012 16:22

DF, not that one is worse than the other. The circumstances in which the victim is raped are different

Typically you finish work at 17:00 and it's daylight. It's not like you'll be raped in broad daylight where everyone is watching now is it? At 2:00 it's usually very quiet. See where i'm going with this?

OptimisticPessimist · 03/08/2012 16:24

"That doesn't involve walking down the road at night after getting drunk"

So? It's been established that statistically, you're less at risk while walking down the street drunk than you are when you get home and get into bed with your husband/partner. So why aren't there campaigns advising women not to live with men? Maybe because that doesn't suit men, whereas the myth of rape victims all being silly, drunken girls tottering home and getting dragged into alleys suits most of them pretty damn well?

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