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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that West Mercia Police need to take this poster off their website

246 replies

DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 11:18

here

they have already apologised for another poster story but the poster on their site is, in my opinion, also pretty offensive.

"Alcohol features in two thirds of all rapes, we want people to enjoy the party season and let their hair down without letting their guard down"

where are their campaigns aimed at men or aimed at taking women seriously?

OP posts:
Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 13:12

JumpingThroughHoops - perhaps those men who were falsely accused should have protected themselves by not being sill enough to have sex in the first place. Don't they know that having sex can lead to accusations of rape. If they really wanted to protect themselves why didn't they just not have sex, aren't they aware that sex/assault is present in 100% of rapes? Why didn't they take responsibility for themselves and just not put themselves in a vunerable position?

OP posts:
MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:14

sigh

I'm not even sure where to start. Have challenged West Mercia Police about this over both Twitter and Facebook.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 13:15

here

OP posts:
OptimisticPessimist · 03/08/2012 13:16

"But nor does that rape poster talk about walking at 11pm. They both talk about the impact of alcohol. Because that is where the statistical correlation lies."

It was an example. Because while drink-driving is an actual crime, being drunk and in possession of a vagina isn't.

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:17

Dueling, I was just about to link to [[http://glosswatch.com/2012/07/25/dear-west-mercia-police/ this one re the "sex regret" comments. Great minds, and all that jazz

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:17

Let's try again

caramelwaffle · 03/08/2012 13:19

Really good point Optimistic

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 13:20

Brilliant Smile

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 03/08/2012 13:20

Sad to see rape myths are alive and well, despite years of relentless campaigning like the 'We Believe You' campaign to try to make people see sense. I guess lots of people are so scared by the possibility of rape that they convince themselves it's something that only happens to people who drink a lot/wear skimpy clothes/flirt/go out alone after dark etc etc, so if you don't do any of those things, you will obviously be safe Hmm

There was a great thread on the Feminism boards recently about rape myths and the OP said that she has done all of the 'dangerous' things many many times but has never been raped. Her not being raped obviously has nothing to do with her behaviour and everything to do with the fact that she has not been attacked by a rapist. I wish people know how intensely damaging and soul-destroying it is for someone to hear that their behaviour could have caused their attack.

gordyslovesheep · 03/08/2012 13:20

great post Optimistic

JumpingThroughHoops · 03/08/2012 13:24

perhaps those men who were falsely accused should have protected themselves by not being sill enough to have sex in the first place.

Would that include the one on a train at the time with his son?

or the one who unfortunately matched a bogus description given to the police?

or the last one where the girl made it all up because she thought she would get a bollocking from her father for being late home?

Two of the three had no sexual contact whatsoever. The other had a relationship ages before hand which was long since finished.

But we digress. Just don't say malicious claims never happen, because they do.

Whatmeworry · 03/08/2012 13:25

It was an example. Because while drink-driving is an actual crime, being drunk and in possession of a vagina isn't.

Crime or not is irrelevant. The point is that statistically, if you drink, your judgement is impaired. Thus if you don't drink, the probability of bad things happening to you go down, regardless of whose fault it may be. Its true of a whole bunch of things, not just rape - so why go off on one when people point that out for rape?

StuntGirl · 03/08/2012 13:27

maswera That poster is amazing.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 13:27

Lottapianos - quite.

I have done many things which people may perceive as dangerous. I have been in bed, drunk, with men many times. I have always told them that I wasn't going to have sex with them. Even if I hadn't expressly said that they still would have been breaking the law had they done so. I have never been raped because I have never been in the presence of a rapist. 'Taking advantage' of someone who is too drunk to give consent is still rape and all men should know this.

OP posts:
MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:29

Jumping, you realise that false rape claims make up less than 8% of all reported rapes, right? (Some reports put this number at as low as 3%)

If you ever want to work out who is on the side of rape survivors, look at who the speaker is criticising. If they're criticising the minority of false claims, with no focus on the (majority of) genuine claims, then they're telling rape survivors that, should they come forward, they won't be believed. People who focus on "false claims" are not on the side of rape survivors. They're on the side of rapists.

wombat21 · 03/08/2012 13:29

'No one has picked up that alcohol also makes for morning-after-regret which can result in rape complaints being made, where no rape occurred either. Common factor? Alcohol and loss of inhibition.'

This comment has enraged me.

I was raped at the age of 20 by a man I met in a club. I had been drinking, I wasn't drunk. I made the mistake of thinking that he would take me home when he said he would, not drive me to an alleyway and rape me.

The police found and prosecuted my rapist, I had to go through TWO trials due to a hung jury the first time. Do you know some of the things the defense lawyer said to me?

You made the accusation because you wanted a lift home.

You made the accusation because you drank too much.

You made the accusation because you didn't want to admit you had been promiscuous.

You made the accusation because you wanted to get your ex-boyfriend to feel sorry for you and take you back.

None were true. All succeeded in making me feel like even more shit than I already did. I admit I made some poor choices that evening, the biggest one being I trusted someone to NOT rape me just because he had the opportunity.

You know what my rapist said to me when he was done? He said, 'you won't tell anyone will you?'. He knew it was wrong, he still did it, and then he expected me to allow him to let him get away with it, presumably because he couldn't help himself.

I'm getting very ranty here, but I guess my point is that the only thing I did wrong was exercise poor judgement of character. I shouldn't have to moderate my behaviour because otherwise a rapist might have to rape me. People aren't told not to go out at night because a drunk driver might mow them down - drunk drivers are told not to do it! Battered women aren't told not to antagonise their abusive husbands - the husbands are told not to do it! Why is it difference when women are raped?

tittytittyhanghang · 03/08/2012 13:29

I dont read it as victim blaming. Just reminding us to be careful to ensure maximum safety. I don't see where its implying that if you don't do these things you are to blame. As for ads aimed at the perpetrators not to carry out rapes, tbh would piss me right off because essentially they'd be a fucking waste of time and effort. Anyone who is of a mind to carry out rape/assaults is not bloody likely to think, oh that poster says its wrong, i'll just turn back and go home then.

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:29

So... being raped is an "error of judgement", WMW?

Hmm
OptimisticPessimist · 03/08/2012 13:31

"why go off on one when people point that out for rape?"

Because rape is not "bad things happening". Losing your cash, spraining your ankle, falling into the canal, setting fire to your house are all "bad things happening" that you are personally responsible for.

Being raped is having a crime committed against you. It is the active decision of somebody else. It is not something the victim can ever ever be personally responsible for.

wombat21 · 03/08/2012 13:31

I didn't even address that comment did I? Yes, there have been some erroneous accusations of rape made, but it's very rare. You'd have to have some serious problems if you subject yourself to everything that happens when you report a rape just to assuage your guilt at some anonymous sex.

MildewMayhew · 03/08/2012 13:31

Wombat, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're OK.

Original poster
DuelingFanjo · 03/08/2012 13:33

"The point is that statistically, if you drink, your judgement is impaired" So. What does it matter if your judgement is impared? How does this = rape?

OP posts:
Whatmeworry · 03/08/2012 13:33

So... being raped is an "error of judgement", WMW?

I don't know how the hell you read that into what I said, unless you disagree that alcohol impairs judgement?

Lottapianos · 03/08/2012 13:34

wombat21, I feel sick to my stomach on your behalf. Sometimes you hear stories that remind you how entitled these scumbags feel about their access to women's bodies. What a filthy grubby little coward.

I hope you are doing ok and moving on with your life at your own pace. I can't imagine what those trials must have done to your self-esteem so you should be incredibly proud for coming through it all.

Lottapianos · 03/08/2012 13:34

wombat21, I feel sick to my stomach on your behalf. Sometimes you hear stories that remind you how entitled these scumbags feel about their access to women's bodies. What a filthy grubby little coward.

I hope you are doing ok and moving on with your life at your own pace. I can't imagine what those trials must have done to your self-esteem so you should be incredibly proud for coming through it all.