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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to go to the supermarket without being hassled over parking?

107 replies

WelshMaenad · 01/08/2012 12:36

My dd is disabled and has a blue badge. I also have a toddler. I do generally try to park in p&c spaces but if none are free/convenient I will park in a disabled space.

I am sick to the back fucking teeth of busybodies harassing me on the assumption that I'm just a um of two who is abusing the space. I've just had some mardy troutfaced bitch stride over and inform me that people like me are disgusting. she didn't even fucking apologise when I pointed out that I was displaying a blue badge and disabled class road tax disc, she just sniffed and walked off.

What business is it of other peoples? Seriously. Fuck the fuck off then fuck off some more!

Breathes.

OP posts:

GotMyGoat · 01/08/2012 16:28

I think "you've forgotten to put up your blue badge" is a fantastic thing to say if you are doubtful someone needs the space - after checking for one, of course! Very inoffensive.

axure · 01/08/2012 16:31

People should mind their own business, I'm sure you'd rather a child who could walk right across the car park, but you don't and have been awarded a blue badge and any person who feels the need to abuse you is despicable.

thebody · 01/08/2012 16:33

What a stupid rude cow. Op just shout back, don't internalise let rip, you will feel so much better.

hermionestranger · 01/08/2012 16:35

Spiffy now that's a real shame.

Dawndonna · 01/08/2012 16:38

We too have been harrased. Funny thing is, sometimes dh is with us, he doesn't have a blue badge, but he uses a stick to walk. However he only looks about 25, so people still think they can have a go.
Dd1 just looks at them and says swap your legs for my chair, soon shuts them up.

ginmakesitallok · 01/08/2012 16:44

Thing is you can't have it both ways - If it's good that people challenge people who they think are abusing disabled parking spaces then of course some genuine blue badge holders will get challenged?? I love it when my Mum comes to stay with me - she has a blue badge and between her and DD2 (2 years old) it's always really easy to get somewhere to park.

whathasthecatdonenow · 01/08/2012 16:50

My mum has a badge, and we get funny looks even though she has to use crutches.

My poor sister has it much worse though. She has a badge for my niece who gets very tired easily because of a brain tumour that was removed 2 years ago, she also has a Maclaren Major. She gets sarky comments for parking in the space if my niece walks from the car, and sarky comments about it being ridiculous to have a 7 year old in a push chair if she goes in that. Worst one was that my niece shouldn't be out in public if she's that ill.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 01/08/2012 17:10

IME it's the older drivers/passengers who are more likely to challenge (Broad stereotyping there).

The Health Centres where I work have maybe 4-6 Parking Bays for BB holders. Which is not nearly enough for the number of patients using the centre.
The road has yellow lines in parts and it's near a school. Also resident only parking.
So people park in the bus stops which makes the bus drivers and they complain to the HC manager.

And one elderly lady expected me to go round the whole HC looking for someone who had parked in a space without a BB. (Seriously).

I said "There are 3 floors and something like 45 rooms. Some of them are Dr Surgeries. I cannot just disturb them. Why not ask the Dr's Receptionist to make an announcement? "

But she still expected me to find the deviant driver. (And what then? Kill them? Flog them? Write on their windscreen with lipsalve? )

frustratedpants · 01/08/2012 17:28

I got a funny look this week for parking in disabled bay with a blue badge
On way back to car after shopping. Carrying 4yo dd, who was at the time attempting and succeeding to refuse to walk, headbutt, bite and punch me. after struggling round the supermarket to hold off the inevitable meltdown
Man pulls into disable space next to my car, not having witnessed the abuse dd had just rained down on me looks at me with that "I know that's not your blue badge" look, then the car to check for badge, he wound down his window..
.. just as dd commenced full blown attack on me, herself, my car and the floor. Whilst all I could do was stand over dd and minimise damage. Before I octopus wrestled dd into her carseat whilst she took a breather.
Looked at Man then, with my hair looking like I'd been dragged through a head backwards, lip bleeding from a headbutt I'd failed to dodge in time, smiled sweetly at his now gobsmacked expression. Got into my car and drove off, thinking bet he's re-thinking giving me that look now.

thepeoplesprincess · 01/08/2012 17:30

I'd also agree that it's the older generation who are the rudest/most entitled.

I used to work in a home for teens with severe physical/learning disabilities and the amount of crap we got from the over 65s for sitting in "their" spaces on the bus or parking in "their" spots was beyond offensive.

And there was never any doubt over entitlement/looking NT either. At the risk of souding rude, our kids were all of the dribbling/shouting/wheelchair using/facially interesting variety (we still loved them btw!), but that never stopped the fucking rude old bags from having a go.

manicinsomniac · 01/08/2012 18:54

I never understand the people who challenge where people park, whether they are challenging those with a bb or those without. The former is disgusting and offensive and the latter is nosy and just rather odd/obsessive.

Why on earth would you even notice whether or not a car has a badge in its window, let alone approach some random in a busy carpark?

I just park, shop and leave. I've never even glanced over at the disabled parking row because why would I?

whathasthecatdonenow · 01/08/2012 18:58

It's not just parking though. Too many people see those with disabilities as an inconvenience that should be kept out of sight.

HecateHarshPants · 01/08/2012 19:08

Oh, it drives me bonkers! I have a blue badge, disabled tax disc and drive an adapted vehicle with hand controls.

Those things, to all but the most spectacularly stupid would indicate difficulties, you would think. but oh no. If you're not elderly or in a wheelchair, then clearly you don't have a disability.

I got hassled by a taxi driver in my son's school. In reception. Excuse me love, don't park in the disabled parking again (or words to that effect)

I went bonkers. Informed him that had he bothered to check, he would have seen my badge and that the car had hand controls etc etc and not everyone with a disability is in a wheelchair and, well, I went on and on and on and in the end he was backing out of the door with his hands held up saying sorry love sorry love and I was still giving it to him.

He'll certainly check in future.

But people shooting their mouths off instead of looking piss me right off. Just as much as people parking in a disabled bay with no badge!

bumperella · 01/08/2012 19:35

My Mum had a BB becuase she couldn't walk far. It was awful when she couldn't get into a shop/etc becuase some ignorant twunt parked in disabled space when they didn't need it. She wasn't elderly, nor was she in a wheelchair.

nailak · 01/08/2012 20:35

i think you are misunderstanding me i am not saying ignorance is an excuse, i am saying if we understand the cause we can start to tackle it fgs.

confusedpixie · 01/08/2012 20:47

Hope you're alright OP. I never thought that people were that rude until it happened to me with my charges the other week :( This woman stood next to me tutting whilst I was getting something out of the boot and then pointed out that it was a disabled space. I smarted a bit and pointed out that two of the children with me were quite obviously not neurotypical and the badge is for them not me. She seemed shocked that I'd actually responded but still glared at me as she walked away

I always try to park in normal spots as he can walk quite a distance most days, but do use the blue badge when charge is having a bad day or the situation is just dangerous (trying to get two ASD children, who hate crowds and policemen, and a 4yo through busy Brighton for example!)

I do think that people using the spaces fraudulently need to be challenged, but ffs leave those who need the spaces alone

DartsIsFun · 01/08/2012 21:28

I've started to tackle the ignorance.....very directly! No swear words involved, either!

Kladdkaka · 01/08/2012 21:42

I don't want to tackle the ignorance. I want to go about my business unmolested, just like everyone else does.

nailak · 01/08/2012 21:53

tbh i dont really go about my business unmolested, i might not have a car to park in disabled bays but people still have stuff to say, about my dress, my kids, my puschair, kids walking too slow or running etc.

I often have verbal confrontations when I am out.

Kladdkaka · 01/08/2012 22:07

Lucky you, I get sworn at, spat at, pushed around, kicked, car smashed up, thrown out of places, refused service, tripped up, house windows smashed, rubbish thrown at me and put through my letterbox and generally treated worse than a dog. All because I am disabled and I never, ever respond to any of them.

You tackle their ignorance, because I really can't be arsed.

whathasthecatdonenow · 01/08/2012 22:45

Kladdkaka describes life for a lot of people with disabilities.

nailak · 01/08/2012 23:16

I didnt realise.

I cant imagine people would be that thick tbh.

I imagine those asking if you have a blue badge have been through the same stuff.

Kladdkaka · 01/08/2012 23:28

I doubt it. They're usually the ones dishing it out.

Kladdkaka · 01/08/2012 23:33

I imagine those asking if I have a blue badge are self appointed busybodies, with no understanding of disabilities, who have taken it upon themselves to police the system because they cannot stand the thought that someone else is getting something that they're not.

MildredIsMyAlterEgo · 01/08/2012 23:36

Kladdkaka Bloody fair play to you for not responding to them, the wankers

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