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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my son have his nails painted?

77 replies

2MumsAreBetterThan1 · 28/07/2012 22:15

Was sat painting my nails earlier today and my 8 year old son came over and asked if I would do his as well.

I said yes and he now has purple nails, I figured I wouldn't have said no to my 9 year old daughter so why say no to him and it's school holidays so why not.

Then once he went to bed my partner (also female by the way) commented that he was getting a bit old for that. Just to clarify she isn't of the boys should be macho and nail varnish will make him gay train of thought. She is worried he will be picked on for it.

Now it's got me thinking, should I have said no as the local kids may laugh, should I make him remove it before going out tomorrow?

I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as "for girls or for boys" and people can wear and play with what they want but as my son is already z bully target due to his special needs I don't want to make it worse.

Should I as my partner suggested tell him boys don't usually wear nail varnish and some people may laugh and then let him decide if he wants it or not?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 28/07/2012 22:16

I think your partner is right.

LentillyFart · 28/07/2012 22:17

Oh ffs - just give him a dress, a handbag and some high heels and be done with it.

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2012 22:18

I'm kind of guessing at by 8yrs old, boys know that it's mainly a female thing.

So if he's happy to wear it, the chances are he won't care about being teased.

If we were talking about a 4yr old here, it might be different.

Rainshine · 28/07/2012 22:19

As much as it pains me to say it, your partner is right. It will more ammunition for bullies.

AllYoursBabooshka · 28/07/2012 22:21

Jesus Lentilly that's a bit over the top.

TellyBug · 28/07/2012 22:24

You're right. Your partner is wrong. You can both give him your views though.

But I don't think 'people will bully you for it' is a reason not to do something. That puts the blame on the victim. I would rather teach him that the bullies are irrelevant dickheads and that he should do what makes him happy.

Happy painting!

bejeezus · 28/07/2012 22:26

I think he is old enough to know that mostly it is girls that wear nail varnish, and chose to wear it anyway?

I would let him keep it on. Then, if it is a problem, let him take it off?

I am not keen to teach the lesson of conformity though

AnnunziATTAGIRL · 28/07/2012 22:27

Isn't it the school holidays? Make it a holiday treat.

solidgoldbrass · 28/07/2012 22:29

David Beckham wears nail varnish sometimes. He's a bloke. And he's a bloke that even small-minded stupid mundanes tend to admire, so tell your DS to tell anyone who comments in a negative way that if it's good enough for David Beckham it's good enough for him, and if he wants to have his nails painted, he will.

solidgoldbrass · 28/07/2012 22:30

BTW my DS likes to have his nails painted sometimes. I have a rule that it's OK in school holidays and at weekends but that nail varnish shouldn't be worn at school, which was the rule I was brought up on.

Empusa · 28/07/2012 22:33

Oh FFS it's nail varnish, hardly a big deal. If he's asked to wear it then where is the harm?!

EdithWeston · 28/07/2012 22:39

He's 8, so will have worked out already what is usual and what is teaseable; and whether his friends are likely to pick on him.

I think he'll be fine with dark purple (black, metallic, etc). And at least it comes off quickly.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 28/07/2012 22:41

It's only nail polish it's easily removed and it's not harming anyone . :)

WildWorld2004 · 28/07/2012 22:52

Johnny depp wears nail varnish.

Homebird8 · 28/07/2012 22:53

My DS's (9 and 7) both love nail polish on fingers and toes. School can't cope with the fingers though (rule for girls the same) so it's only toes in socks and school shoes that are pretty constant.

DS2 wears pink tights out of choice too. When questioned why, by other children, he just replies that it's because his legs are cold (he often sports them with his favourite shorts). The questioner accepts this quite happily and nobody feels bullied. (Same for the pink raincoat - because it's raining). The colour is simply not an issue.

As far as the nail polish is concerned I've been asked to paint other boys nails who've come to play and have.

Oh no, someone's about to tell me IABU and probably abusive Wink

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 22:57

My boys are five and seven. They currently have blue toenails.

They asked me. I'm not going to say no, on the grounds that "I might as well give them a dress and a handbag". Although they did specifically ask me for blue, as that's a boys colour. They wouldn't want pink toenails, although they've had purple, and black fingernails when we were in Whitby, after visiting a goth shop.

Their dad now has blue toenails as well, as they suggested it wasn't fair for him to be the only one without. I hope nobody teases him at the beach....

FarelyKnutsAboutTheIrishTeam · 28/07/2012 23:05

Bleeding hell lentilly, who pissed on your cornflakes?

OP leave him off. If kids say anything to him then he can take it off if he wants.

kittyandthefontanelles · 28/07/2012 23:48

I think it's very punk rock. Your son sounds cool.

cheesesarnie · 28/07/2012 23:52

if he wants it let him!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 28/07/2012 23:59

There are alot of threads on this sort of subject and I always get flamed but hell, it's an open forum so...

I personally, and it's my personal opinion, can't stand long hair on boys.
Or earrings
Or pink
Or nail varnish.

I Don't see the point of letting a child dress so differently that it makes them a target (I'm thinking the boys in a school dress or dress up)
I don't get this "oh it's so good for them to show expression/they'll stand up to bullying/stand up to stereotyping"
It's difficult enough to be a child , why make them a target?

When my son is old enough, he can do what he likes with his hair. He can have whatever he likes pierced.
I'm not homophobic or anti anything.

You can all dress your boys how you like.
I don't think my son would care if his mates wore nail varnish (alot of them did in the Yr 6 end of term Fun Days).
But he'd sooner eat worms than do it himself.

usualsuspect · 29/07/2012 00:01

My teenage DS used to wear black nail varnish.

He was going through an EMO stage though.

RedWhiteAndBlu · 29/07/2012 00:04

Before he goes out just casually say 'do you want your nail varnish left on today or shall I get the remover?'.

And leave it up to him.

RedWhiteAndBlu · 29/07/2012 00:06

Long hair doesn't make boys a 'target'!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/07/2012 00:12

But what about people who place their child in a school which has a dress code- uniform, hair to be uncoloured, no 'cut-ins', shorter than collar length or tied back.

If they let their child flount the school rules that they have agreed to when they accepted a place at that school then it singles the child out.
Either they run the risk of being excluded or they've got the parents who think that rules apply to everyone else.

And yes, there have been parents bleating in our local papers saying "how unfair" when their son is excluded for a stupid outlandish hair style.

Doing the child a load of favours.

honeytea · 29/07/2012 00:13

I think it's great that he wants nail varnish on, I'd say that his parents saying that it is not the done thing for boys would actually be more damaging than some lads teasing him.

My DP's nephew loves nail varnish (he is 9) he does his nails in the colours of his fave ice hockey team. He also loves high heel shoes and diamante t shirts. His friends just take him as he comes.

Maybe in future if you worry about it say to him that for kids nail varnish is better on the toes as it chips of really easilly from the fingers when out playing.

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