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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my son have his nails painted?

77 replies

2MumsAreBetterThan1 · 28/07/2012 22:15

Was sat painting my nails earlier today and my 8 year old son came over and asked if I would do his as well.

I said yes and he now has purple nails, I figured I wouldn't have said no to my 9 year old daughter so why say no to him and it's school holidays so why not.

Then once he went to bed my partner (also female by the way) commented that he was getting a bit old for that. Just to clarify she isn't of the boys should be macho and nail varnish will make him gay train of thought. She is worried he will be picked on for it.

Now it's got me thinking, should I have said no as the local kids may laugh, should I make him remove it before going out tomorrow?

I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as "for girls or for boys" and people can wear and play with what they want but as my son is already z bully target due to his special needs I don't want to make it worse.

Should I as my partner suggested tell him boys don't usually wear nail varnish and some people may laugh and then let him decide if he wants it or not?

OP posts:

Sallyingforth · 29/07/2012 10:13

I think your partner is BU and inconsistent. She can go against sexual convention by choosing a female partner, but the boy can't break similar conventions by having painted nails. Of course he should try it.

Badgerina · 29/07/2012 10:17

latebreakfast EXACTLY. Great post.

To anyone who stifles their child's expression through censoring what they wear, what are you going to do if a bully decides they don't like your child's nose? Or their legs? Or something else that you simply can't change?

It's the bullying that's wrong. Nothing else.

Badgerina · 29/07/2012 10:19

Also, since WHEN has having painted nails been a girls thing? Punks, Goths and Emo boys have been painting their nails for DECADES.

TidyDancer · 29/07/2012 10:40

Your partner is definitely wrong. He's entitled to an opinion, but this comes from a ridiculous perspective.

There is no such thing as boys only or girls only, or rather shouldn't be.

DowagersHump · 29/07/2012 10:45

Everything that latebreakfast and Badgerina said

5madthings · 29/07/2012 10:58

uanbu! let him have his nails painted!

and i agree its the bullies that are wrong and them that should be dealt with not the child that dares to be a bit 'different'

my ds3 (7yrs) is a big fan of pink, purple, anything sparkly or to do with fairies and has a purple tutu, a fairy outfit and has in the past worn a pink silk party dress, he was guttedn when he grew out of it! he also likes football and lego and nerf guns, often playing armies whilst wearing his tutu over a pair of jeans he likes what he likes and we let him get on with it :)

usualsuspect · 29/07/2012 11:01

My DS did get the piss took out of him for being different, but it was never his fault.

He wore and had his hair how he damn well pleased.

I wouldn't have had him any other way.

ThePieWhoLovedMe · 29/07/2012 11:02

No problem with it at all

WithoutCaution · 29/07/2012 12:40

Has no one seen Joop's advert?

"Real men wear pink"

If wearing pink, having long hair, wearing nail varnish etc makes someone happy (regardless of gender) then so be it. Why should anyone be bullied for being themselves. Why do some people seem to think that it's perfectly fine to stifle a childs ability to be themselves just because they have been brought up to be narrow minded and selfish or they bow to pressure from narrow minded people?

tartyflette · 29/07/2012 12:46

Was at a party last night in a friend's garden and saw a young guy had nail polish on his toes (but just on one foot, wtf is all that about? ) I think most people won't give a shit. Also. another friends's son (teenage) wears dark purple/rouge noir type polish on his finger nails. Looked fine to me.

FineAndDandi · 29/07/2012 14:20

our 8 year son is never fully dressed without his sparkly nail polish. why ever not? move into the 21st century people!

TapirBackRider · 29/07/2012 14:33

My ds was bought some black sparkly varnish by his very elderly great uncle a couple of years ago, black because it's one of the colours of his football team and the uncle thought it would go well with the footie strip.

If we all stopped doing things, because we might be targeted by bullies, we'd end up doing nowt.

BupcakesandCunting · 29/07/2012 14:35

DS who is 5 and his best friend like their nails painted. Fine by me. If anyone bullies him for it, I'll be down on them like a ton of fucking bricks. I wouldn't say to my DS if he were overweight and getting bullied for it, "Well, best get you on Atkins since the bullies don't like you being fat"

I don't bow down to bigotted twatty arses who think "boyz do dis, girlz do dat" Fuck 'em.

squeakytoy · 29/07/2012 14:44

"My 10 yr old dd hates having her nails painted, hates pink, has black and purple hair and doesn't like skirts or dresses"

Black and purple hair on a TEN YR OLD????

Sorry but yes, I would judge on that one..

toffeesam · 29/07/2012 14:51

I teach teenage boys up to 19 [stydying construction]. You would be suprised at the number who wear nailvarnish and 'female' jewellery. Boys are more and more 'metro sexual' by the day.

It is the school holidays, so he is not breaking a rule. Everyone gets picked on for somthing, if it's for wearing nailvarnish, at least he can take it off.

Anifrangapani · 29/07/2012 14:54

Wasn't pink reserved for boys until Queen Victoria.

AltruisticEnigma · 29/07/2012 15:32

Nothing wrong with a bit of malevarnish!

Empusa · 29/07/2012 20:41

^"My son said that's what would happen not what he would do.

There's a HUGE difference"^

There is, but if people continue to say, "looking different will get you beaten up", then it normalises attacking someone for looking different. It makes it sounds like it is an accepted consequence of looking different - and it isn't.

Mrbojangles1 · 29/07/2012 21:25

My child is 13 and had his toe nails the other day i think your oh needs to chill

CheerMum · 29/07/2012 21:51

Squeaky toy, my dd has enough health issues to make you faint, so if she wants to have black and purple hair then she can damn well have it.

honeytea · 29/07/2012 21:56

I think it is the best time in your life to have black and purple hair... I want black and purple hair!

TheShriekingHarpy · 30/07/2012 00:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glittertwins · 30/07/2012 06:55

I had black hair with electric blue and purple stripes in it but I was older though. DS is currently sporting Black Pearl on his toes - metallic dark green/black. I was doing my toes and he asked if he could have his done like me.

foreverondiet · 30/07/2012 08:17

I have painted DS1's toe nails only, up until he was around age 4. Clear varnish only on fingers. I figure that unless he wore sandals no one could see. I always said, only woman have nail polish but as its on your toes and no one can see and because you are little its ok.

DerringDo · 04/08/2012 19:49

I work in a secondary school - loads of teenage boys wear nail varnish now. I know this because I'm forever having to send them off to remove it as it's not in the uniform code. Your boy sounds like a cool dude.

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