They ruined our wedding day. Very long rant/story

[inlawsfromhell]

My SIL, MIL and BIL ruined our wedding day!!!! It was a small wedding with only 30 guest. SIL wasn't invited as two weeks after my daughter was born (4 years ago) she started a fight with me and threatened to kill me and our daughter and I have been receiving abuse every few months. My husband told her she wasn't invited.

So I arrived at the venue and who do I see SIL i tell my husband to get rid of the physco but he begs me to have her stay and i do it for him but tell him she isn't coming to the party. She was told to sit at the back she sat in the middle and what could I do walking down the isle. His mother who has only made the effort to see her grandchildren 4 times in 4 years, came up to me just before I walk down the isle screaming abuse at me for not inviting her daughter who threatened to kill her own niece and how DH has only got them. Well I lost it and told her how he only sees them because I ask him to visit and call them (I won't allow the DC around them without me), How her granddaughters don't know who she is and when she does visit she doesn't play with them just sits in a chair ignoring them arms crossed with a face on and that his children and me have been a family for 5 years.

We had no group photographs just our two girls and my niece and nephew. Because he couldn't tell his sister not to be in the pictures.

He left after we left the building, He went to find them and left me for 20 minutes! I was stood there like some idiot surrounded by everyone like I'd just been abandoned and nobody knew what to say to me.

When he came back we set off to the party his mother refused to come if SIL couldn't come. BIL came up to me gave me hug and said he wasn't coming.

The party was great till my husband got a text from SIL slagging me off calling me a tramp and saying i looked like shite he shouldn't have shown it to me I burst into tears. On my wedding day and my husband didn't even come and talk to me it was my sister. After an hour I come back to the party and thats the end of our wedding day.

In the morning I get up to find abuse from MIL and SIL. MIL calling me so many names in a text to DH and ending it LOVE MUM XXXX as if nothing has happened! and SIL facebook message to my account I shall C&P

"You are a fucking discrace u looked horrible an u all looked liked u just got out bed, say summat like that to my mum an upset u dnt do. The whole wedding was a sham an so fake, u didnt mean them words atall, i sed i wanted to kill you i rearlly am considering it now u scruff , if u ever come to manchester i will hunt u dwn u fucking whore, ur face is already a mess but wen ive finished with you it might be a fuvking improvement. Hot u rot in hell u are one nasty evil fucked up women. An making my brothers life a misery an he knows it an dnt know why he going along with you coz uve fucking brainwashed him prob, watch ur back coz i may just be in sheffield an see you an if i do u best run coz i fucking strangle youu fucking bitch. Never go near my mum agen. Hope ur happy uve messed up roys life an made all his family uncomfortable. U dnt fucking scare me now fuck off."

BIL was his best man didn't do anything for the stag do didn't even turn up, was on the train with SIL didn't tell us she was coming and didn't come to the party! Also got a group white card from all three saying "have a long and happy marriage like me and your dad" the weren't not happy and separated two years before he died. So they planned to ruin his wedding day and the sad thing is they only think they are hurting me!

I'm so pissed off I'm still crying randomly it's been nearly a week my husband has told me he'll never see SIL or MIl again but he has said this before because of the trouble they cause. We go on our honeymoon in a few day's and I don't want to go. I feel bad for my husband but I just can't get over this feeling (I can't even think of the word). I will leave my husband the day he talks to his sister or mother again because I have taken it for years and can't do it anymore.

Sorry about any spelling mistakes and my grammar. Its so long I'm sorry again

wow they sound nuts!

I honestly hope your dh sticks to his word.

They all sound nutters to be jhonest. Stick to your guns in relation to what is and is not a dealbreaker.

Hope your honeymoon goes good.

Send the message back to her with corrections.

Block her and your MIL on facebook and never see them again.

Right, off to the police to make a complaint about the death threats.

Tell your DH he now has a choice.

It really does come down to you or them. He is free to make that choice. But if he wants to stay with you then that's it, they are gone.

If he decides to be a grown up, text them all once saying 'Please do not contact me or DH further'.

Then keep a record if they do, preferably printed out. If it continues, then you make a complaint of harrassment to the police, same for any further death threats.

If DH decides that he would prefer them, then you say 'Out now and here are the details of my solicitor, we will communicate through them from now on'.

Take control back.

beats me why your husband showed you an abusive message in the middle of your wedding party. Does he enjoy the drama of it all/
sounds like they are all a bunch of Jeremy Kyle rejects.

as for the SIL, you do know there is a criminal offence called 'threatening behaviour'?

Wow.
I think you need to distance yourself from them and just not engage in any way. Block them from your facebook and mobiles. Even change your numbers if necessary. Your DH need to have no contact as well. Then just ignore and do not respond to any message or contact you recieve. This is guaranteed to piss them off!
They appear to be enjoying the drama of it all and feeding off the upset it causes you. Just as bullies do in the playground. In fact a lot of this behaviour is playground stuff escalated.
If you just cut them off and go on leading a happy successfull life together that would be the best revenge you could ever have! Please remember its the marriage not the wedding day thats important.

I don't really see what the sister in law did wrong at the beginning though, buying clothes for your baby is a bad thing?

You should report it to the police but I'm just trying to understand how someone so proud of their niece ends up threatening to kill her and her mother?

She said it was her baby...TBH that makes me think she is mentally ill.

OP: get away from these toxic people, now! You poor thing :(

well, there are two sides to every story........

I dunno...I don't think anything justifies this level of cruelty on their wedding day, plus the highly illegal (and barely legible) death threats to a CHILD.

Please report them

Please don't expose your children to them again - EVER

Please follow through if your husband doesn't bloody follow through with his promise to stay away from them. Why the fuck didn't he tell her to leave the wedding?! I can't believe you married him tbh after that

She sounds like she has some mental issues? Get a restraining order - seriously, take her threat seriously and get an order. Do it today

I agree with Finn

Why was your husband showing you horrid texts on your wedding day?

I know this sounds harsh, but it sounds like you knew very well what you were getting yourself into. Your SIL has made death threats before, and sends you abuse every few months, yet she hasn't been completely cut from your lives? And surely you know that MIL supports SIL, surely that wasn't a surprise at the wedding? From this you can already conclude that your boyfriend/fiancee was spineless, as he did not adequately stand up for you. If he had, this situation at the wedding wouldn't have even developed.

And now he is your DH. And is still spineless, as we saw at the wedding. There is no way he should have tolerated SIL being at the wedding, and MIL as well really.

So I don't really know what to tell you. I don't understand why you've married into this family. But now that you have, you have to hope your DH suddenly steps up to the plate, or it sounds like its over before your marriage has begun.

I feel much better today, I recovered from a week of flu two days before our wedding and all this unnecessary drama has just taken it all out of me. I had a four hour nap on the sofa yesterday and fell asleep after putting the girls in bed. Felt up for to calling today without bursting into tears. I called the police this morning and they are coming around this evening at 5:30 to take a statement from me. He said she would most likely have a official warning. Husband will arrive home at 6pm so he will see how serious the threats have been I hope

As for my DH talking to her, He didn't speak to her for a year and then we found out my FIL (one of the best FIL ever) had cancer and all he wanted was his family around him and he has rarely spoken to her after he went. I didn't see or speak to her during any of this.

My DH spend the time after the wedding telling them he was no longer going to be a part of their lives. Would have been much better if he had just left them but my DH doesn't like to hurt people and his mother (not that she deserves that title) is forever pretending to be ill.

I don't know how I could have got through the past few day's without all your help even the harsh help I believe in honesty and truth and would have hated been lied too. I will keep you all up to date with what happens tomorrow as I need to pack for our honeymoon today.

Good on you. Hope your so called SIL gets the hint that shes a cow.

Enjoy your honeymoon

Another one wondering why any man would show his new wife such an upsetting text saying she looked shite on her wedding day

Move on, delete and block.

Another Chav nutcase making Manchester look like it's full of Jeremy Kyle wannabies. Heavy sigh.

Good luck with the police - hope it will be the beginning of being able to put hideous SIL behind you.

Another Chav nutcase making Manchester look like it's full of Jeremy Kyle wannabies Made me laugh. He only showed me because I wanted to see why his face had dropped.

We have moved on now, The start of our marriage will begin on Monday. Our honeymoon will be amazing full of photo's I'll be happy to look back at. May even put those pictures in our wedding album lol.

We will be taking our vows again just before going on Monday just us and may take them again after dropping the girl's with my family in France.

Take it to the police, she can be charged under the communications act. If you've got a lot of texts and messages from her you can push for an interim interdict to stop her contacting you or coming anywhere near you.

I'm so sorry about your wedding, but at least they have shown their true colours now (if they hadn't already).

How old was your SIL when your baby was born?

Just over 2 years ago I had similar threats from my husbands son. It was vile, he was threatening to kill me and my then unborn DD, some of the things he said make your SIL sound charming!

We called the police and they spoke to him and we havent heard a word from him since. He was all full of himself until then, these people usually do back down when you make it clear that you wont take it and involve the relevant authorities. Of course I am still the bad person in his family because I called the police, not him for making threats but as I havent seen any of them in years, I couldnt give a toss.

SIL was 21 when DD was born. Yet everyone exused her because she was young other than her father and my DH. When I was 21 I had my own house! As I said she has done many things the things she did before the threats I've only listed a VERY small amount. I have also told you all I have said to her.

bogeyface I feel your pain I would have gone to the police then but I loved my FIL and he and my DH they wanted to keep it in the family and she didn't make any contact while FIL was alive. When the police give her a warning I will have the blame just as you have had my DH has warned me already but I really don't give a toss when these people don't give a shite about our family. I know that after contacting the police she WILL contact us again with more abuse but thats fine as I will call the police again.

It'll all be on her record and stop her from adopting or fostering and if she does it to anyone else. I'm just glad my husband is behind me calling the police this time would have anyway I even think my FIL would have called himself. If only he was still around

OP, you mentioned your SIL wanting to adopt or foster in the future. Can't she have children? Is it why she hates you? Sorry if you said before and I missed it.

Come back and update us OP - we want to know you are alright

And please God don't ever let that psycho be able to adopt or
Foster kids (your SIL I mean, obviously)

wow she sounds lovely!

Did you marry your dh? Yes? then it isnt ruined hun!

Speak to your dh, show him this and tell him he needs to speak to her, one more jibe and you go to the police.