They ruined our wedding day. Very long rant/story

[inlawsfromhell]

My SIL, MIL and BIL ruined our wedding day!!!! It was a small wedding with only 30 guest. SIL wasn't invited as two weeks after my daughter was born (4 years ago) she started a fight with me and threatened to kill me and our daughter and I have been receiving abuse every few months. My husband told her she wasn't invited.

So I arrived at the venue and who do I see SIL i tell my husband to get rid of the physco but he begs me to have her stay and i do it for him but tell him she isn't coming to the party. She was told to sit at the back she sat in the middle and what could I do walking down the isle. His mother who has only made the effort to see her grandchildren 4 times in 4 years, came up to me just before I walk down the isle screaming abuse at me for not inviting her daughter who threatened to kill her own niece and how DH has only got them. Well I lost it and told her how he only sees them because I ask him to visit and call them (I won't allow the DC around them without me), How her granddaughters don't know who she is and when she does visit she doesn't play with them just sits in a chair ignoring them arms crossed with a face on and that his children and me have been a family for 5 years.

We had no group photographs just our two girls and my niece and nephew. Because he couldn't tell his sister not to be in the pictures.

He left after we left the building, He went to find them and left me for 20 minutes! I was stood there like some idiot surrounded by everyone like I'd just been abandoned and nobody knew what to say to me.

When he came back we set off to the party his mother refused to come if SIL couldn't come. BIL came up to me gave me hug and said he wasn't coming.

The party was great till my husband got a text from SIL slagging me off calling me a tramp and saying i looked like shite he shouldn't have shown it to me I burst into tears. On my wedding day and my husband didn't even come and talk to me it was my sister. After an hour I come back to the party and thats the end of our wedding day.

In the morning I get up to find abuse from MIL and SIL. MIL calling me so many names in a text to DH and ending it LOVE MUM XXXX as if nothing has happened! and SIL facebook message to my account I shall C&P

"You are a fucking discrace u looked horrible an u all looked liked u just got out bed, say summat like that to my mum an upset u dnt do. The whole wedding was a sham an so fake, u didnt mean them words atall, i sed i wanted to kill you i rearlly am considering it now u scruff , if u ever come to manchester i will hunt u dwn u fucking whore, ur face is already a mess but wen ive finished with you it might be a fuvking improvement. Hot u rot in hell u are one nasty evil fucked up women. An making my brothers life a misery an he knows it an dnt know why he going along with you coz uve fucking brainwashed him prob, watch ur back coz i may just be in sheffield an see you an if i do u best run coz i fucking strangle youu fucking bitch. Never go near my mum agen. Hope ur happy uve messed up roys life an made all his family uncomfortable. U dnt fucking scare me now fuck off."

BIL was his best man didn't do anything for the stag do didn't even turn up, was on the train with SIL didn't tell us she was coming and didn't come to the party! Also got a group white card from all three saying "have a long and happy marriage like me and your dad" the weren't not happy and separated two years before he died. So they planned to ruin his wedding day and the sad thing is they only think they are hurting me!

I'm so pissed off I'm still crying randomly it's been nearly a week my husband has told me he'll never see SIL or MIl again but he has said this before because of the trouble they cause. We go on our honeymoon in a few day's and I don't want to go. I feel bad for my husband but I just can't get over this feeling (I can't even think of the word). I will leave my husband the day he talks to his sister or mother again because I have taken it for years and can't do it anymore.

Sorry about any spelling mistakes and my grammar. Its so long I'm sorry again

I would also take a copy of the message to th epolice and then block them all on fb, but that's the easy bit. You need to decide whether it is worth staying with your new husband, do you trust him to support you and protect you and your children from that vile behaviour - if not then you need to leave, now! If you do trust him to walk away from them, and to put you and your children first, then I would enjoy your honeymoon and even make a romantic opportunity to exchange vows again, in peace, away from everyone else, whether there are witnesses or not, just to reaffirm what you promised each other. Good Luck, wishing you all the very best.

Meant to say OP, they have ruined ONE day in your marriage. ONE.

You both have time to get past this, as long as he is supportive of you in this.

DO NOT TAKE PHONES ON HONEYMOON

I see SIL i tell my husband to get rid of the physco but he begs me to have her stay and i do it for him but tell him she isn't coming to the party. She was told to sit at the back she sat in the middle

His mother who has only made the effort to see her grandchildren 4 times in 4 years, came up to me just before I walk down the isle screaming abuse at me for not inviting her daughter

You are a fucking discrace u looked horrible... wedding was a sham an so fake, u didnt mean them words atall, i sed i wanted to kill you i rearlly am considering it now u scruff

You all sound awful and possibly quite insane, tbh. You should consider going on Jeremy Kyle all together.

I agree go to the police, and then maybe after your honeymoon, if you or parents have space, host a bring a dish BBQ for your close friends / your family as a celebration of your marriage, get people to dress smartly and get some new pictures and some positive memories to build your new life on. No wonder your dh needed a new family, he must be carrying some baggage from that bunch, it may take a while for him to adjust to normal family life. I do think it is up to him to decide how much contact he has, but I would agree with him that your dd don't have contact until they are older.

Firstly, hand FB message over to the police, she has threatened to kill, that should be dealt with by them.
Secondly, delete them all from your FB account, then some torment can be stopped.
Third, consider changing your mobile and landline numbers.
Then finally, try to enjoy tour honeymoon away from all this abuse. It's all been horrendous for you.

If I was getting threats like that I'd go and find her and tell her to try it. She'd shit herself, they always do.

I really sympathise with you OP, but I can't help but wonder why they hate you so much?

The fight started because she kept putting pictures up on fb of our new born as her profile picture and we kept telling her to take them down she would and with in five minutes she would have it up as her profile picture again! I had enough so I told her to respect mine and her brothers wishes and to stop been two faced. She also went out and bought four full bags of baby clothes as soon as we found out the sex after been told not to buy anything until we had bought one outfit she kept calling our daughter HER daughter there are so many things. My DH is nothing like the rest of his family and it wasn't until I had my daughter that I saw their true colours. I'm not friends with any of them on FB and I shall go to the police on Saturday I just haven't felt like going out, I'm not worried about me I'm worried if she hurts my girls.

I have let my DH see his family because it would not be fair for him to pick between us. I haven't seen or replied to his sister for four years, his mother and brother we visit every six months or so with the kids and my husband goes down every month. I have had as little do with them since my FIL died and they have always been welcome to our house. Plus the abuse I just Ignored for his sake.

As I said I can't do this any longer I made him pick, he said he picked me only time will tell. I felt just as bad as them making him pick :( but I am not going to have him go see or talk to people that talk about me like that anymore if he truely loves me he wouldn't want to hear it. If it was my family (not that they every would) I would have said goodbye years ago.

I can't do anything I don't want to go out I have hardly cleaned our house for days and only get out of bed for the kids. I should be beaming and showing off my wedding rings that we had made, I have two wedding rings to go around my engagement ring and every time I look at them I feel sick.

You didn't make him pick they did. They can't continue to be vile to his wife and expect him to ignore it.

I think you should treat your honeymoon as the celebration of your marriage and enjoy each others company without the bitterness of his family.

Another vote for going to the police.

That is awful OP, so sorry they ruined your wedding day.

I agree with other posters that you should show sil's messages to the police, they should at least give her a warning for harrasment.

Also, change your numbers and block her on fb so she can't contact you or dh.

Hope you enjoy your honeymoon, don't give them the satisfaction of ruining that too.

Was anyone filipino this wedding? If so get it and add any evidence of nastiness to the FB stuff and texts when you see the police.

But why wait for Saturday? Why not go Friday?

Filming.... Not filipino. Blasted predictive text always makes an ass out of me.

Crikey, what a nutter!

I also suggest contacting the police. She needs to be dealt with.

I hope you have a lovely honeymoon. Do all you can to cut contact with these people when you return and don't engage them in any conversation at all.

poor you.

You've had some good advice- secreenshot, etc. And do leave phones at home, or get a cheap payg sim if you need to be in touch with anyone.

That is just horrendous; I absolutely agree that you should report the threat to kill you (!) to the police. She sounds unhinged quite frankly. What kind of person screams abuse at a bride as she's about to walk down the aisle? And as for threatening to kill your child, well she sounds like a nasty piece of work and neither you nor your husband owe her any loyalty whatsoever.

Your husband sounds great - it's good that he's decided to cut contact. It doesn't sound as though they are capable of contributing anything positive to his life or that of his family (you and your baby) so why bother with them.

It's horrible being threatened - it happened to me recently (long story involving druggy brother and his druggy friends) and I was physically shaking for hours afterwards, and I'm normally a very confident person. I really feel for you

Would it be possible for you to have a little ceremony without the nutters in-laws, so at least you have a nice (peaceful) memory?

If your husband had any backbone at all he would cut the lot of them off, they all sound vile

omg - I'm so sorry this happened to you. Block her on FB and stop any contact at all. Report her to the police for the threats - give them the facebook messages.

If I had been your dh, knowing how toxic they are I would not have told them the wedding was even happening , but hindsight and all that.

definitely go to the police

I /:35/5488&££'£

I knew Facebook would be involved somehow. Go to police about the threats to kill, get some sort of injunction/NMO in place and have no further contact with SIL who sounds like she needs psychiatric help.

Police - threats to kill/maim.

Restraining Order.

Never see them again.

"You all sound awful and possibly quite insane, tbh. You should consider going on Jeremy Kyle all together."

Cote, that's incredibly harsh and unfair on the OP, what has she done to make you think she's awful? Or have I misunderstood your post?

They sound charming. Definitely go toy the police. Is there anyway that you and your husband could have a little ceremony while you are on honeymoon? Just the two of you?

That is disgusting! [shocked] I would call the police and make sure dh knows I would leave him the minute he communicated with them again.

Actually meant