to ask my sister to hide her pregnancy?

[3kidsNapup]

Considering the way she got pregnant was to honey trap the father! They have one child already (but are not together) and she decided it wasn't fair that she didnt have a brother or sister so she got drunk to sleep with him but planned it so she was ovulating - obviously he knows nothing about her wicked plan.

I have a family function coming up and have told her I dont want it to be subject of converstaion (as totally embarrassed), AIBU????

Jaffa cake

Damn wine far fingers putting a ! when I obviously meant a ,

fat

Some people on here have no concept of honey trapping. It's very bloody easily done and it's an absolute disgrace. Yes maybe a man should wear a condom but if his trusted partner says she's on the implant then you'd have a reasonable amount of trust in it. It doesn't mean she has the right to lie and purposely get pregnant just because he didnt wear a condom. Jesus.

However OP you're being unreasonable. Why should she hide it? Get a grip

GhostShip are you saying that a man just can't say "No"? Or just make damn sure he isn't in a situation where sex can/will occur with someone he doesn't know/trust enough?
Women do also get "caught out" when a man lies and says he has a vasectomy (or if he was really creepy used condoms with holes in).

Never mind that people should be aware that accidents happen all the time (I know quite a few).

He can know and trust someone and they can still do it! That's my point. Any woman can turn round and do it. Oh but it's always the mans fault isn't it, not the lying treacherous woman.

And I was going to use that example, if a man used a condom but put holes in it to get a woman pregnant, everyone on here would lynch him. There'd be no talk of 'oh she should have been on the pill'

Big difference between a trusted partner and drunken ex!

She is a twat of the highest order. I think you are less of a twat, as I assume it's just for this one function in particular? I don't think YABU if that's the case, as the gossip but ruin the event. Who wants to go to a party where everyone is whispering about you?!

Please explain - why does she want a child by someone she doesn't like? Isn't there any man that she does like?

And yes
YABU.
The child is your family.

I'd expect my son to wear contraception.

They're both responsible he didn't have to sleep with her he had a choice.

Your sisters choices for her children aren't great but that doesn't mean you should disown her and the child.

This is a bit like my ex, who told me even though he had something on- it was me who got me pregnant

I agree with everyone else, leave off this child is your family. Every baby is a blessing! Im glad my family are supportive!!!!

Is this a joke? Your sister's pregnancy has nothing to do with you except that there will be a new member of your family. She had sex knowing she could get pregnant. He had sex without protection and as one assumes he's a consenting adult, he also knew she could get pregnant. She has. That happens.

If a man doesn't want a child, he has the option of using a condom. She knew he wouldn't wear a condom? well, more fool him then.

I am not saying it is right to use a man in this way, but you cannot absolve him of responsibility. If he chooses to not use a condom then he is surrendering control of contraception and the risk he takes in doing that is that the woman is not on any! If he doesn't want to take that risk then he takes responsibility for the contraception himself. He doesn't go without and then bleat about how he was tricked, oh poor poor him.

What is your sister planning to do? announce that she 'tricked' a man into getting her pregnant?

People may think less of her (and him) but I fail to see how that affects you.

But if all she does is tell people she's pregnant, then the only response is 'congratulations' and if anybody does anything else, it's them you need to be embarrassed by, not her.

Ew, I would be embarrassed having a sister like that too.

But what we have to remember is that the poor lickle men folk shouldn't have to take responsibility for their own sexual health and reproduction. We've had this thread before remember? It's all the evil womans fault, using her womb as weapon. Pfft.

I bet she'll even expect him to be responsible for his own child. Poor, helpless man, being forced to have a baby he didn't want. How was he to know women can get pregnant if you have unprotected sex with them? He is just a man

YANBU OP. If I was you I would tell everyone at the function just exactly what you think.

Oh yes, of course. Silly me. I don't know what I was thinking, posting that.

should have a there

But did the op's sister actually say she was on the pill or another form of contraception? All OP has said is that her sister knew the the guy wouldn't wear a condom.

YABVVVU to ask her to hide a pregnancy as it is really nothing to do with you.

Are you envious about her pregnancy?

Poor iccle men? I detect some bitterness there. Yeah actually it is poor them if someone they love and trust decides to deceive them. Yes of course they should wear condoms but sometimes we aren't talking one night stands.

Too many women on here act like women have no responsibility for their own actions and it's alllll the mans fault for not wearing a condom.

Like I said before, you'd all be up in arms if a man purposely damaged a condom to get a woman pregnant. Double standards ladies.

No GhostShip, if I didn't want to get pregnant I would double up on contraception. I would use the pill and I would expect the man to use a condom.

Contraception fails/isn't always used correctly. Relying totally on a another person to be responsible for your own fertility is feckless.

We don't know she told him she was on the pill. OP never said. She did say that he wouldn't use condoms. Silly boy.

love and trust?

an ex?

If they were in a relationship, maybe. But an ex? Nah. You sleep with someone casually and you take responsibility for it yourself.

And anyway, damaging contraception is not the same as not using any.

A man damaging a condom to get a woman pregnant is not comparable to a man not wearing a condom. It would be comparable to a woman showing a man a birth control pill, putting it in her mouth, pretending to swallow and then spitting it out secretly.

Not the same at all.

His mistake was in not using a condom, possibly believing her to be on the pill, possibly just being stupid I agree.

Her actions were premeditated as she set out to conceive without his consent, pretty disgusting behaviour imo.

YANBU to be embarrassed by her, but YABU to ask her to keep the pregnancy quiet, that's up to her.

Ghostship it's an ex. Your just seeing what you want to see but if your going to sleep with a drunken ex girlfriend who apparently hates you without using a condom sorry but very very daft.

It doesn't matter if you approve of what she has done.

She is pregnant. Your family are going to find out about this. It is unreasonable to expect her to hide her pregnancy, no matter the circumstances of how she got pregnant.