to want to get rid of the baby monitor? (and if not, how?)

[IfElephantsWoreTrousers]

DS is three year's old. He sleeps in a "big boy" bed and is getting more and more grown up.

We are still using a baby monitor. It is an old-fashioned radio-type that transmits all the time (not like these new digital ones that only switch on if there is crying). Therefore, every evening we had a soundtrack of listening to DS snoring. DS snores VERY loudly (I think he has a sinus problem but that's a question for another day) so it's very intrusive. However, if I turn the volume down to be less intrusive, DH is unhappy because then he can't be sure it's loud enough to hear if DS needs us. He has to have it loud enough so that we can still hear the snoring over the soundtrack of whatever other noise we have on such as TV, music etc.

Our house is quite solidly built and you can't easily hear noise from another part of the house. It is true that IF DS woke up and IF he called out something like "mummy I need a wee" or "I want my blanket" (he regularly kicks off his duvet while asleep) then we wouldn't hear him at first without the monitor. We would probably hear him after a while IF he got distressed enough to shout in a more sustained and loud way. However, most nights (at least 4 out of 5) once he is asleep there is no need for us to go up again.

DH says he doesn't want to get rid of the baby monitor until DS is old enough to get up and come downstairs and fetch us if he really needs something and it is important. I reckon this wouldn't be the case until about the age of seven.

So - when did you get rid of the baby monitor, and what did you do to ensure you could be summoned if you were really needed?

Not understanding the shock of some posters - what's the harm in using monitors into pre-school age if parents want to? Hope you get the digi one and solve your problem, OP! (still using one here at with 2.2 year old - similar situation to you!)

We've never had one either.

Ha, some of you seem almost offended that some people use monitors past the baby age . This amuses me.

I can't hear DS in his bedroom if we're downstairs unless he is screaming his lungs out (and I'd rather he didn't get to that state!). We only have a teeny house, it's just very soundproof.

If people want to use them in order to hear there dc I can't see why it would be unreasonable.

I used mine for a very short time as the noise drove me insane and I could hear dd anyway

Having adopted and fostered young children of all ages, mainly those with delay/learning difficulties I have to say I have never used a monitor for any little ones after a year old.

SS are usually so OTT about health and safety, you would not believe the risk assessments and the (often) unrealistic rules that we need to follow. However, in all those regulations a baby monitor is only expected to be used exactly for that, a baby. Even when fostering children between 12 and 18 months, the use of a baby monitor was not deemed to be necessary...and we do live in a large house. Before your post it had never occured to me that others use it for anything other than a baby...and maybe not occured to SS either!!! LOL

ps...never liked the things anyway, always heard eirie noises that could never be explained on them!!

i have a baby monitor & i still use it for my dd's who are 4.5 and nearly 6!! I like to be able to go out and garden or whatever once i have put them to bed but be able to hear if they are fighting or wrecking the house. i don't use it when i'm in the house tho...

Just to reassure you OP my DD is 4.5 and can get up, go to the loo and walk down all the stairs in our 3 storey house in the complete darkness of she wants to... She can also yell for me if she needs me (and our house is fairly solid Victorian townhouse) and I will hear her. I don't think if she can get up I am neglecting her by making her come and get me rather than running to her? At night I could sleep through a thunder storm but always wake if she calls me.

We have one for DD (3.3) still. She's another who doesn't get out of bed during the night. Even in the mornings when we've told her she CAN get out of bed and choose a book, she shouts for us and won't get up till we've gone in to her.

We don't have it upstairs overnight, but without it we tend not to hear her in the evenings unless she's really screaming - and she's one that if she really screams, she's sick...

We have one my son is 10 [omg I hear you all scream]

I live in a four story house he sleeps on the ground floor as we do but the lounge is about 80 feet away and up two floors.

Just makes life easier.

example.

DS ''mum i want a drink''

ME ''go and get one then''

We had ours till DS was 5 and we moved house to a flat where we could hear him. We would never have heard him calling out otherwise. And I actually preferred to go and deal with the problem before he came looking for us - I honestly don't think my DS was downstairs after bedtime more than half a dozen times in his life, which suited us fine. What we did do though, was not take the monitor upstairs when we went to bed, because our rooms were on the same floor and we would have heard him if he needed us.

We still use one. Why would you want a toddler/ baby screaming their heads off before you hear?

We have video monitors and go up as soon as they wake, they have never screamed or cried in bed. And now will wake and play/ read happily until we go in ( as in enough time to shower/ get changed/ finish reading etc) as they know we will come even when they are quiet

why do some people seem determined to make parenting as difficult as possible?

no wonder there are people who say they've not slept in years!

10????? 10??????????????

Come on, there must be someone on here who has a teenager who is still hooked up to a baby monitor....

I agree with born. Just because we didn't have things in the past, doesn't mean they can't use them now because they make our lives a little easier. I presume the posters making comments about managing without them in the past live some kind of reclusive lifestyle whereby they don't use any modern cons. Such as computers....

OP, use it for as long as you like, but I do think try putting it in the hallway as a compromise?

OP, I can understand why you're reluctant to turn it off. However, I'd like to reassure you that I have a 5yo who is absolutely aware of what is very important and needs to be communicated to his parents and what is trivial crap designed to keep us running up and down the stairs every night.

Sadly, despite being told on many occasions that I do not want to hear from him again unless his bed is on fire, he has yet to apply that awareness in a practical setting.

I'm sure you won't need to keep it on until he's 7.

Ahem... I did once use the baby monitor with Dh when he was very poorly in bed with a very sore throat and I was downstairs. He is 40. Do I win?

After reading this thread I am going to put ours outside the bedroom while DS 19 mo sleeps. I have always had it on all night. And have not slept through since he was born. Athough I have been turning it lower and lower, I have still been in at 3am twice this week because of him waking and saying 'milk, milk'. He has not been screaming, just saying it louder and louder. I have never left him to scream. But I thought everyone had them on all night?

I still use a baby monitor for my 2 dds who are 9 and 5. But in my defence, we live in a 3 storey house and their bedroom is on the top floor, wer as ours is on the 1st floor, and dd1 has ASD.

We lived in a fuck off big house when I was a tot, remember many a time wandering around lost and crying in the night. Selfish shits could've at least fitted me up with a sat nav if they didn't want to listen to me on a monitor. Massive attachment disorder me :-)

were

Can I just point out to potential people reading this. Please please do have a monitor on with a baby.

If you really really don't keep them in your own room and put in their own, just be aware how dangerous it can be listening to some posters saying ' nah never had one, when my 2/3/4 month old screamed you could hear'

And doesnt anyone else think this is incredibly sad? That a young baby/ any age might have to scream to the top of their lungs to be heard!

yes I do feel sad at a young baby having to scream to be heard.

napdamnyou please don't switch it off and leave to cry :(

Quite apart from it being quite upsetting to hear a baby in such a state, it doesnt do the parent any favours. If dd4 wakes after bedtime, I get up there asap so that she wont get too wound up so I can do the feed/change/cuddle whatever and get her back to sleep quickly. If I waited until she was yelling the place down, it would take three times as long to settle her, I just dont see why anyone would do that to themselves or their baby.

I havent been pfb with any of mine (I was in too much of a mind fuck to be pfb with the first and havent had time to be with the others!), but there are some things that I have learnt over the years are not the luxuries they first appear and a baby monitor is one of them.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/9286683/Babies-left-to-cry-feel-stressed-research-finds.html

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2149060/Babies-left-unhappy-hours-stress-hormone-remains-high.html

I know no one was suggesting letting the baby cry itself to sleep, but waiting until a baby is wailing so much that you cant ignore it must surely have a similar effect?

Forgot to check the box, sorry

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/9286683/Babies-left-to-cry-feel-stressed-research-finds.html

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2149060/Babies-left-unhappy-hours-stress-hormone-remains-high.html