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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my neighbour

76 replies

biddysmama · 23/07/2012 11:06

ive got a paddling pool in my garden, theres a fence that her children climb over to get into my garden because its been fixed so the wood goes across, like a ladder, but my children cant get into her garden because its fixed on our side we have toys in ours, they dont,

apparently i should empty my paddling pool because her 2 year old could drown in it when its unattended

i think she shouldnt be leaving her 2 year old unattended, especially as we live on a very very busy road?

who is being unreasonable? (i have emptied it btw because i started to worry about her toddler drowning in it, just wondering about it now)

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 23/07/2012 11:08

Her child, and she is responsible for her child's safety. Not you.

Olympia2012 · 23/07/2012 11:08

She is!

StrandedBear · 23/07/2012 11:08

Your neighbour is BU. Completely.

How can a 2yo climb a fence anyway?

TubbyDuffs · 23/07/2012 11:08

If there is even a small chance that her two year old could end up in your paddling pool unattended, then you should empty it. I know it might seem like a hassle, but to be honest it is much better than the alternative.

fireice · 23/07/2012 11:08

What would she say if you had a pond?

pictish · 23/07/2012 11:09

Erm...why have her kids got free reign to use your garden like that? Are you just very nice and don't mind?

snuffaluffagus · 23/07/2012 11:09

Do you mind her children getting into your garden? If so, put some trellis on top of the fence so they can't climb over..

If you don't mind, but are just annoyed at her telling you off for having a paddling pool in YOUR garden, no you're not being unreasonable, it's her job to supervise her 2yr old.

patosullivan · 23/07/2012 11:10

I'd be emptying the paddling pool when not in use because I'd be worrying about my own children drowning.

But YANBU to think she shouldn't be leaving her toddler unattended in a garden that the toddler can escape from. You having a paddling pool surely isn't the only thing that could harm her toddler if the toddler's running loose around the neighbourhood.

Original poster
biddysmama · 23/07/2012 11:11

shes probably closer to 3 now. ive never seen her getting over, i just keep catching her on the toys out there when i go in the kitchen

OP posts:
pictish · 23/07/2012 11:11

By the way - what you do in your garden is up to you. You do not have to run things in order to prioritise the neighbour's kids!

I would stop them from coming in myself. Not as in they are never allowed in, but rather when it suits you? Surely?

pictish · 23/07/2012 11:12

So she just lets them come into your garden uninvited....and then has a go at you because it's not safe enough for them??!!
What???? Confused

Original poster
biddysmama · 23/07/2012 11:12

my children cant get into the garden unattended

OP posts:
pictish · 23/07/2012 11:14

Please explain why the neighbour's child is in your garden in the first place...I am not understanding the arrangement (if there is one) here.

StrandedBear · 23/07/2012 11:15

Shock seriously? Stop them coming over, it will just get worse! How old are the kids? What happens in the holidays when (if) they have friends over? Will they all be in your garden?

I assume you are not running a youth centre?

tryingtonotfeckup · 23/07/2012 11:15

It doesn't sound as though the mother is paying much attention to her child if she is regularly getting into your garden without her noticing. YANBU, I think you should tell her that her daughter is her responsibility, she could be getting into loads of other trouble / danger besides paddling pools, you have your own kids to supervise.

I would probably empty the paddling pool though, its just the thought of something going wrong, not worth it.

Original poster
biddysmama · 23/07/2012 11:17

theres no arrangment, she doesnt watch her kids, they come in my garden., i send them home and they come back,even at night while mine are in bed sometimes

OP posts:
tryingtonotfeckup · 23/07/2012 11:18

I'd put trellis up or something, that is really annoying.

pictish · 23/07/2012 11:19

Right ok.
This is ridiculous - why are you even asking? The neighbour has NO business demanding you empty your pool, no. Her bloody kid shouldn't be there in the first place. You need to tell her straight that your garden is your business, and it's not the local playground. Then put some trellis up for god's sake!

She is one cheeky entitled cow. YANBU.

Original poster
biddysmama · 23/07/2012 11:20

the littlest is 2, the next one started reception last year so 5? and the oldest is 8/9

it doesnt matter what i say, they still come in

OP posts:
pictish · 23/07/2012 11:21

Block them with something or other.

I am disproprtionately outraged at this....what the fuck is she on?? What a brass neck!!! Shock

Latara · 23/07/2012 11:22

OK.
Next door have a rabbit staying at times.
My cat thinks it's another cat (well, it is black like her & the same size) so she wants to chase it.

She won't go next door when the rabbit is out as the neighbours go in the garden with it; & she's scared of the neighbours.
But i have found the rabbit trying to get into my garden - so i warned the neighbours that unless it wants to get attacked by a cat who wants a fight; then they have to ensure it stays in their garden!
So they watch it to make sure it stays in their garden.

Your neighbour should apply the same rule to her 2 yr old IMO.

StrandedBear · 23/07/2012 11:22

it DOES matter what you say. Tell them every time 'get out of my garden'

Can you put the toys away when you aren't in there? And fix the fence!

RubyRosie · 23/07/2012 11:22

YANBU, she is a cheeky bitch and should be watching her own children in her own garden. Do you have enough room to store the toys away when not in use, I know its a pain getting them in and out all the time but it would stop them from coming over to use them.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2012 11:23

Spell out to her that if her kids come into your garden uninvited and unexpectedly, you cannot be responsible for them.

I agree though, I couldn't relax with a full paddling pool if I thought her kid might drown in it, so if it continues I'd tell her that unless she stops her kids wandering into your garden you'll be putting up a large and very ugly fence so that they can't get in and keep annoying you drown in the paddling pool.

StrandedBear · 23/07/2012 11:24

Plant a holly bush your side of the fence?

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