or is my neighbour

[biddysmama]

ive got a paddling pool in my garden, theres a fence that her children climb over to get into my garden because its been fixed so the wood goes across, like a ladder, but my children cant get into her garden because its fixed on our side we have toys in ours, they dont,

apparently i should empty my paddling pool because her 2 year old could drown in it when its unattended

i think she shouldnt be leaving her 2 year old unattended, especially as we live on a very very busy road?

who is being unreasonable? (i have emptied it btw because i started to worry about her toddler drowning in it, just wondering about it now)

This would seriously piss me off. In fact it did. Not exactly the same circumstances, but the neighbours kids were jumping over the fence and playing in our garden when they felt like it and no amount of asking them not to would stop them. A 6 foot fence did though. We put it up on our side of their boundary. Could you do the same? Otherwise I fear you may have years of this, especially if their parents think it's ok, as was the case with us.

YANBU

I suggest a trellis & prickly roses / holly... just tell her it's protection against burglars :)

Also a VERY COLD water sprinkler that is triggered by movement (switched off when your kids are out there obv.)

Who the fuck thinks they can tell the neighbours what to do in their own garden in order to prioritise their kids, who invade said garden uninvited??

I am gobsmacked!

As an asides, if I knew the littlest child could get in whether invited or not, I would empty the pool anyway...just as a precaution, but this needs sorting out for once and for all.

What the deuce!? There is no way they should be coming into your garden! And how the hell does a 3yo climb a fence? is she spiderman? Maybe start posting yours into her garden when they're high on e numbers and see how she likes it.

I think you need to have words. She sounds like the type to blame you if her tresspassing children hurt themselves whilst playing in your garden.

Yes, she is BU and has no right to ask you to do this and she should be watching her children. She isn't though and the water is a very real danger to an obviously unsupervised child. Sort the fence out.

The cheeky bloody cow!

I hope you told her in no uncertain terms that it's her responsibility to keep her kids out of your garden and she should start bloody doing it.

"What would she say if you had a pond?"

There was a big campaign some years back, for owners of ponds to put safety netting across, because of the amount of toddlers that had wandered off and been found drowned in ponds.

Personally, i wouldn't have a filled pool or uncovered pond in my garden if there was the chance of a child drowning.

I couldn't stay living in the house if that happened and tbh, the neighbours would blame you and move you out.

Actually yes, i agree with holly bushes - they grow very quickly too. Don't have a nice level top on them - keep the tops of the hedges uneven because the brats kids may find a way over flat topped hedges. Also make sure the holly hedge too wide for the kids to just jump across over them.

And what if you had the sort of pool that I have?

It's too big to empty every day as it takes about 6hrs to fill

She should make her garden safe so her child cant get out. How bizarre. But id probably empty the pool with ill grace as i would be too worried in case something did happen. Shes got a real cheek though.

Yanbu, you neighbour is being very unreasonable expecting you to take care of HER childs safety!
She is being neglectful of her duties as parent of a very young child, a 2yo is too young to be left alone in the garden-your neighbour should be out with her dc or atleast watching from a window.
I cannot believe she is leaving her out there and then expecting YOU to empty the pool, what if you had a pond?, would she expect you to empty that too!?
I would ask her politey to keep an eye out for her dcs because your pool is hard to fill up without having to fill it again

Whose fence is it?

Yanbu, your neighbour sounds dreadful. Agree with the others that you should put up a fence or a bush to stop them from gaining access.

To be fair, if the mother of the 2yr old is worried she should be putting up fences and bushes.

Also...

it doesnt matter what i say, they still come in

What exactly do you say and in what tone of voice?

Because I can tell you one thing for certain, they wouldn't be coming into my garden without an invite...especially when my kids are in bed too!

I am gobsmacked.
What an awful neighbour. Sounds like she doesn't give a damn about supervising her child at all, but (typical of people with that sort of mindset) would be the first to accuse anyone and everyone else if anything should happen to her kid.
I agree with the idea of planting something thorny to stop her climbing over.

I'm getting angry at your neighbour's cheek for you biddysmama! How dare she dictate what you do/don't do in your own garden? Cheeky bag.

Tell her to keep her kids under control and out of your garden - problem solved.

How about OP just says no.

No to the kids coming in the garden uninvited.
No to being held responsible for the safety of said children.
No to having her garden treated as public property.

Just tell her OP "No I will not empty out my pool for your daughter's safety. If you want her safe, keep her out of my garden. In fact...while we're on the subject, just keep them ALL out of my garden...ALL the time. I don't want them there, and I'm certainly not interested in being responsible for them. Stop being so ridiculous!"

OMG she is being totally U.

You need to fix something to the top of the fence to stop the kids climbing over. You also need to tell neighbour the kids are not welcome unless actually invited to come over, and it is her responsibility to ensure they stay in her garden.

Some people live in a different reality!

Exactly pictish

She is definately being unreasonable

I've recently had a very similar discussion with one of my neighbours (about 8 houses away). I was painting some fencing with woodstain, went indoors to answer the phone and came back out to find her 2 year old painting herself, my patio and a garden chair.

She had come in through our side gate (which was ajar as DH was cutting the front garden but he hadn't seen her go in) and let our dog out into the street

Apparently, it was my fault as I shouldn't have left the paint unattended.

It didn't seem to occur to her that she should have been watching her 2 year old and she shouldn't have been in our garden in the first place - we're not exactly nearby so she had wandered quite a distance, unsupervised on our road

Freddie!

What is with some folks?! Honestly, nothing makes me bridle faster than shit like this.
OP - your neighbour wouldn't stand a chance against me! She would be told what's what, in no uncertain terms. In fact - I'd go round there just to deliver the news.

Someone will only treat you how you let them. She is walking all over you, and you are going along with it. Wipe the welcome off your forehead and tell your neighbour that her kids are not allowed in your garden again.
Then put something up to block their way, so she may be under no illusions that you meant it.

What a carry on!

YANBU. Make your fence unclimbable. Really, this is not on, at all. I can't believe the nerve of the woman!

The neighbour is mental and rather rude. She should fix the fence so the child can't get over it. I would be spelling that out in no uncertain terms.

I have a pond in my garden which is very deep I wouldn't be draining that when I wasn't there to ensure some trespasser didn't drown.

tell her you are planning a pond and if she is that worried she should block access.She probably likes the fact her kids bugger off to your garden regularly so she has a break!