to have done a really shitty thing last night.

[paradisechick]

Been married 6 years together 11 got 7 year old and 15 week old baby.

Am 29.

Went to friends house last night in my old home town. Drank a lot of wine between up then hit the pubs. Bumped into a guy I went to school with. We were never an item but had a good friendship and seen him a few times since school. Anyway we had a laugh went out for a cig with him he started with the patter and we kissed.

Just had message of him apologising. We've always had a flirty friendship and I think we just took it too far.

Feel shit. Do I tell dh?

I wouldn't want to know and I'm not sure that previous, agreed swinging really makes a jot of difference. Move on and learn from your mistake.

If my DP got pissed and snogged someone else I would want:

1. Him to feel bloody dreadful about it and make sure it would never happen again (cutting contact etc as lots of people have said)
2. Him to make damn sure that I would never find out about it - or to tell me immediately if he thought it possible I would.

I would not want him to ease his conscience by telling me, and transferring a load of hurt in my direction unnecessarily. Affairs/planned liason/serious intent for someone else is a different matter, but a drunken snog is not worth upsetting someone you love very much over.

I would tell. And I would explain to him the steps you have taken to avoid anything like this happening again. But that's because that's what I'd want my husband in that situation and we have talked in the past about telling each other things being the most important thing. You know your own husband and what he would want better than any of us I'm sure.

is this symptomatic if a deeper malaise
or poor judgement when drunk

Very poor judgement!