AIBU to be in meltdown,!

[forcedinsomnia]

I'm a military mum.. ...I found out yesterday I'm being sent to work the Olympics for up to 7 weeks and will miss ds's 1st birthday!! On top if that I leave today and he's unwell. Could he be pIcking up on ny emotions? The guys I work with are not being supportive and nobody has even asked if everything is sorted with ds and childcare etc. I'm really upset and stressed. Going to stock up on calpol for dh while I'm away. Gutted!!!! :-(

not sure - I would think, as a military person, you would expect to be deployed away from home - birthdays, illness or childcare wouldn;t change that?

Poor you! Is there any way that family could bring your DS down to visit you on his Birthday, or perhaps wrangling at least one day off on that day, so you don't miss it?

It must really bite considering that you're all being drafted in because of a monumental fuck up by the security company.

I agree with gordy, surely this is a regular occurence?

Do you guys mean that even though she's used to being deployed she shouldn't be upset about missing her DS's 1st birthday?

You can be in the millitary AND have human emotions for your family you know.

He won´t care about his birthday though!

But you must have known for a while that this was a possibility due to the much publicised security FU?

Your son will have other birthdays and he is too young to know ur not there. You might be deploied at any time so you cant be with him all the time he is ill due to ur job its a fact dont feel bad about it.

What had you planned for childcare if you got posted before you had the baby?

This is your job and you know that before having a child. Suck it up calm down and sort childcare. On the bright side your not going into a war zone and the chance of you seeing your son again are high.

Sorry for being harrsh just wanted to snap you out of this mood. You and your son will be fine its only 7 weeks. You can do this.

No babyheaves just that I am not sure it's unreasonable to ask serving military personal to go where they are deployed

So if you're child can't remember his first birthday, you shouldn't worry about missing it yourself?

Is that what everyone does? Hmmm, probably not.

Why is someone in the millitary not allowed to be upset that they will miss their DS's birthday?

somebody wants a row this morning I don't think anyone has said she can't be upset - calm down - it's only AIBU

"So if you're child can't remember his first birthday, you shouldn't worry about missing it yourself?"

No-but at least in this case only the mother will be upset.

She is allowed to be upset... She is upset

But the baby won't be!

Don't patronise me gordy, especially not with PA s.

Its not unreasonable to be upset that you are going to miss your child's first birthday, millitary or not.

Yanbu to be upset. Is this your first baby? how long have you been in military? Is this your first deployment from baby?

Of course I know it's part of the job, but it sounds hard. 7 weeks would feel a long time to me. X

I wouldn't dream of it

no one has said it's unreasonable - you need a chill pill

My friend, an academic, always missed her daughter's birthday because a conference she needed to attend always clashed. Stuff like this happens.

My childcare is sorted.....but it's the fact that I'm a mum....the other girls who have been given 36 hours notice are not parents....and not one person has asked about my situation given the lack of notice. So for me it's the principal!! I know I have to go no matter what time of year, but just a bit of consideration would be nice. The overwhelming response seems to be yes iabu.....so I guess that's that. Thanks.

Sorry, but you knew the way it would work when you choose to be in the army AND have a child.

I really dont see why you can expect special allowance when in other ways you want to be treated equally.

All right gordy not problem I'm sure that the OP has got it wrong when she said most people were saying she was BU

?

but you aren't a mum in your job - you are a soldier (or which ever position you hold) like everyone else - this can't be a unique experience. Lots of people have jobs that mean they have to change plans, sort childcare at the last moment and miss things - sadly.

YANBU to be sad about it but you are to expect the services to make a special case for parents

Nice sympathetic MNetters on this morning!

OP I bet you could have posted this afternoon and got a much nicer response. I once posted about whether I should take the day off work to be with my chicken-poxy 1 year old (I'm a teacher) and got absolutely flamed, told I would be letting my class down etc. A week or so later another teacher posted exactly the same thing and every single poster told her her child was more important and she should stay home. I learnt a valuable lesson that day!

FWIW I'd be upset in your shoes too. Hope it all goes OK.

at the lack of sympathy you're getting.
I feel for you, and your colleagues should have at least asked. DD won't know though.

:o

Im with gordy again. No need for a row!!

Ofcourse its upsetting but a lot of working mums cant do exactly what they want to for their DCs birthdays. And when joining the military you knew this might happen.

I do sympathise OP....but if you sign up to military, thems the breaks.

I don't expect equal treatment and it will never ever be equal in the military. Yes I knew I'd have to go away...I also know that when it's the guys being deployed the wives do get offered support. Also it's my first baby and my first long (ish) time away from him. I had know idea when I decided to stay in the military how strong my maternal feelings would be.....and if I could afford to I would leave asap. The longest I've been away from him before this was 4 night's.....and he was unwell and unsettled for that time. Ps I'm not in the army.