To get annoyed with people constantly commenting on my age gap

[Queenie72]

I have 2 gorgeous ds, 31 months and 5 months.
Perhaps it is the sleepless nights and hormones, but I am getting annoyed with constant negative comments, even from other mum friends like oh it will be easier for me cos dd1 will be in nursery 3 mornings by the time dd2 is born, or poor ds2 never gets much time alone with you, or you must be mad etc erc.
I can already see an amazing bond between my 2 boys and all the comments are getting me down a bit and making me sad that I haven't had loads of time alone with ds2 and that it is going so fast because I am so busy with ds1.
Just can't focus on ds2 like I did with ds2.

How annoying! It's not THAT bad - 2 years gap is normal isn't it? ish. There's 18 months between my brother and I and I was at school with two girls in the same year who weren't twins, one with a september birthday and one july!

I wouldn't worry, I am a lovely chilled out person and I think it's because I was just left to get on with things while my mum tried to bring up a toddler!

Oh get over it - and yourself! It's just small talk. Conversation. The filling of moments with meaningless speak. Dear God - everyone's always bloody offended by something!

I have 20 months between my 2 dd's and people mostly comment on me being nuts.

I have now given in to benign neglect. Trust me, it makes you feel much less guilty. It also stops me sweating the small stuff.

Ignore them. There's 15 months between mine and they are just fine and there have never been any problems.

Subsequent children never get the 1:1 level that the first child had. Simply because you've, er, got another child

It works itself out.

I think it's probably more difficult if there's a bigger gap. Older child, more jealous, had you to themselves for longer. At least if they're really little, they're not going to remember pre-sibling.

That is not a case for it being 'better' to have them close! just that there's a challenge that is there with a bigger age gap that may not be there with a little one.

Oh god - it's just what people say for something to say. It holds no weight and doesn't matter at all.

I have never seen someone put 31
Months before shouldn't you be using years now?

winding you up

Try having three, with 19 and 25 month gaps. Lots of comments then.

People always comment on the gap between my 3. They are 13, 11 and 2. I've started explaining now that it's because I lost a baby and then struggled to conceive. Then they get all embarrassed and shut up.

YABU. They don't actually care that much, they're just making conversation. I can promise you that the casual acquaintances who say these things are not lying awake at night thinking about you and your DCs' age gap, judging you and cooking up comments about it in order to offend and upset you next time they see you. It's just one of those things people say that is useful as an ice breaker/silence filler. You are reading too much into it.

Same gap there as between me and my 2 db's memoo, we all really close which people find surprising due to age diff

PS There are 11 years between me and DBro and 9 years between me and DSis, so I've heard all this in relation to my own family situation.

We were all chatting at playgroup about potential age gaps for any potential future kids

It means nothing, it's idle conversation

I have 22 months and 29 months.

Never noticed any comments.

I think people are just talking and not trying to upset you. Maybe just trying to give you some sympathy?

There is less than two years between mine and I don't remember any negative comments. Mind you, with two under 2, I didn't have the time to listen to what anyone was saying

I had a 16 months between dc1 and dc2 and than 10 months between dc2 and dc3 so I had every variation of the' you're hands are full' ' where do you find the time ' comments. It's just people making small talk. Dont take any offence, people aren't usually trying to be rude. It's slightly annoying when sleep may be lacking but YABU

If my maths are correct, there are 2 years and 3 months between your DCs. Surely that's a perfectly 'normal' gap, and not worthy of comment at all? There are 20 months between mine, and I had a few comments along the lines of "gosh, you'll have your hands full", but nothing that bothered me in the slightest.

Are you sure you're not a bit too sensitive about these comments because you're worried about 'neglecting' DC2? FWIW, I found the first 3 years really difficult, but I'm reaping the benefits now, as they love each other so much and have a playmate all day, every day!

I found comments like this got to me when I had niggling worries about had we done the right thing.

Then come the moments when I have known it could not have been timed more perfectly.

Then I find I am equally as guilt of saying inane similar type of comments in middle of polite acquaintance conversations - when my mouth starts filling the conversation gaps.

YANBU. It's none of anyone else's business and there are a million less nosy other things they could make conversation about :)

Mine have a 9 year gap, people pick up on whatever comes into their heads first (usually DD2s curly hair and where she gets it from because the rest of us have poker straight hair - which I take it to be them fishing for whether she's DHs ).

Don't pay any attention, and definitely let it get you down and make you feel sad! Just smile and nod - smile and nod

I bet it is ... ADMIRATION!

Lentilly I've just clicked an imaginary 'like' button on your post!

oh for gods sake. get over yourself, noone cares it's just chit chat!

You're being over-sensitive.

I'm surprised you've had so many of these comments because 26 months isn't a particularly small or unusual age gap. Perhaps you're reading more into the comments than is actually intended.

Yup, YABvU to get annoyed about idle chat / conversation / silence filling.
Basically what Lentil, Pictish emsyj Kayano R&R mammy and MsV said

31 months? Hang on while I get my calculator out!!! Oh, you mean 2 1/2 - got it!