to think we should be able to choose what our kids eat for lunch?

[Cuddler]

My friends son is starting school in September and she has been given a whole list of things he isn't allowed in his lunch box.Not just for allergy reasons,i understand those,but things like,no cheese sandwiches,as thats dairy and carbs together,and no ham as its processed,no yogurts if they have sweeteners in them.No tropical fruits,only berries,apples,pears and peaches,they are better for concentration.no white bread.No pasteurized juice.

I'm not saying that the above isn't true,my kids don't have sugary yogurts or white bread sandwiches,BUT i would like to think they could have them if they wanted to,and i do think that this is going about things in the wrong way?In the grand scheme of things,a cheese sandwich,a frube,a banana and some apple juice isn't that bad is it?I mean it could be worse?

cuddler The only way I could possibly believe your friend would be if I was able to see this on the school's website.

I can imagine an HT buying into some woo about food combos and learning outcomes, and recommending that parents follow these guidelines, but out and out banning of pasteurised juice or banana - no way.

In the unlikely event that somebody isn't misrepresenting what the school are saying, then this would need to be raised with the LA imo.

Cuddler has already corrected herself: it's a list of suggestions not firm & fast rules that must be followed. Thread about nothing, then.

Ah, sorry

My DS2 is more of a fussy eater than DS1 but he has a healthy balanced diet of the things he does like, fairly plain stuff pasta, chicken, potatoes, veg, fruit. Neither like salmon or things with really strong tastes that much but I try to keep encouraging them. The more unual tastes are definitely very individual, I don't like spicy food at all but my brother does.

They both would like to have crappy food every day but I try to ensure they don't of course so its not really the fussy eaters thats an issue it the parents giving them crap thats the issue. No one on this thread has said that this is the case with their fussy eaters and I am guessing that this is what Cuddler means??

Don't feel bad Jenai, not the first ever MN thread about misinformation.

Yes,its up to us what we feed them,up to a certain age,my kids have free rein in the cuboards and can eat what and when they want,but i am in charge of whats there for them to choose from.I wouldnt buy crappy stuff because,well its not good for lots of reasons.Like i said before they have tried swwets wtc at weddings and parties and i know my mum has given them quavers and chocolate buttons,but they dont go overboard with them because their not made out to be special or treats,and they only ever have a few and then say that their tummy hurts.

Obviously kids have individual tastes,like ds1 will not touch houmous with a bargepole,whereas ds2 and dd1 will eat tons of it.Im guessing its something to do with tastebuds,there must be a reason for it,theres a reason for everything.I think its pretty obvious if your child has access to a wide range of healthy foods and you bring them up with a good attitude to food then they will be good eaters(by that i mean ranging from eats well to will eat absolutley anything)

No, it isn't a given that they will eat well/widely just because they have access to a wide range of healthy food and with a good attitude tovfood modelled

It is more likely

It has worked for you, but that doesn't mean it works for all

(no personal axe to grind BTW, dcs here are fussy but healthy and broad eaters, just 'particular)

It is though,unless there are medical issues.I think maybe everyone has ideas about what fussy is,you say your kids are fussy,but then you say they are healthy and broad eaters?Everyone has likes and dislikes,it doesnt make them fussy.

I don't think its a given either. You can encourage good eating habits, introduce them to a wide range of foods, provide healthy food for them to eat, but this is not a given that if you do all these things your child will not be a fussy eater. I don't think just because 2 children in your household do eat well counts for much as a research study against the rest of the children in the population (and their different eating habits). Fussy eating can be caused by home environments, parenting, other circumstances as well as whats available to eat, and some children are just fussy full stop. No rhyme or reason.

But it isn't a given that if you give your children a wide range of foods to taste and try that they will grow up to healthy and broad eaters.

It's not that difficult to see that the way your children react to a varied diet isn't the way everyone's children react to a varied diet. Some people just seem born to be wary and nervous of new flavours and textures. It's a shame but it's also a fact.

I had (and still have!) two children who were mini-foodies and I, like you, OP, congratulated myself on my good parenting. I sneered quietly to myself about my silly friends and their picky kids. If only they had introduced food to their children in the correct way (ie my clever way ).

Until Child Number Three turned up. Oh, how we have struggled...

I would, not for the first time, apologise to all those parents who I quietly judged in the past and say that I thoroughly deserve the worry and inconvenience that DS2 has put us through.

Really, OP, you are kidding yourself.

Cuddler I class eating only carrots,peas and corn for veg fussy.Ds has just started nibbling broccoli.That's it literally.He'll eat hummus,baked beans and that really bland cream of tom soup.

Extremely fussy re fruit(apples,banana,mango,strawberries,melon only) and absolutely no dried fruit.

He'll eat w/m bread,yogs,my flapjack and almond cake.

He'll only eat cheddar/Italian hard cheese no other cheese.He won't anything in a sauce,although he's starting to pick out lumps of chicken,meat if not chewy,before he'd refuse anything touched by a sauce he didn't know was in it.

Crap(crisps,choc,biscuits bars etc) which I refuse to buy.

The meals he'll eat are roasts(if it's the 3 veg he likes and not lamb,if not just the meat and pots),home made pizza but he'll pick all the onion and any veg out,fish fingers,sausages,mac cheese,home made veg lasagna but he'll pick out all the veg,curry but often just eats the rice,ditto pasta if it's not plain tom sauce oh and crap but we never have crap.If I deviate from the above(which I do as us foodies aren't really into nursery food) he goes hungry.

Considering the vast amount of amazing food out there which he has been exposed to that my friend is fussy and bloody annoying.It may be healthy and not a jammy dodger diet but it's annoying and bloody hard to accommodate in a packed lunch day after day.

Oh forgot peanut butter

No cuddler fussy in my case mean food has to be a certain way....one food not touching another, not too hot/too cold, sensitive too others eating noises, others 'germs', liking food to be prepared from scratch, not bought.....but they will try new food and have a range of 'likes' which ate predominantly healthy.....so i know that my efforts have paid off. Bit there is no getting away from the fact they are fussy.

It doesn't matter what you believe/say...it isn't a given

It is categorically not a fact that you can be born a fussy eater.Thats is stupid to say

.I have 3 kids not two,and another on the way,its not just down to offering different foods,obviously its lots of things,but i feel i have it right(it might be one of the only things i have got right!)but i do feel strongly that if everyone did everything i had done,then bar medical reasons,their kids would not be crap eaters.And its not just from my own kids,i have tons of friends that have bf on demand,done blw,offered proper grown up healthy food,not made food an emotional issue,and kept crap out of their kids lives,and they all are amazing eater just like my kids,i am thinking of about 15-20 kids i know that are like that.

Thats the last i am going to say on this thread,because i am getting a bit bored tbh,i actually came on mumsnet to kind of get an idea how more mainstream parents do things seeing as ds will be entering mainstream education soon,but i am now regretting it,everyone is as stupid and closed minded as i thought.

That is all.

Oh I see! If only all these silly parents would do what you've done!

everyone is as stupid and closed minded as i thought.

Hate to drag a cliché out of the bag but frankly it's needed. Pot? Kettle?

Haha! Fuck off

I'm agog at your close minded and combative attitude. And you have the gall to tell other people they are 'stupid' and 'close minded'. You clearly don't place as much importance on accepting a wide range of alternative opinions as you do on accepting a wide range of food stuffs.

And as for everyone else being mainstream and you being some kind of underground warrior for alternative child rearing. Hilarious! A close to Brighton dwelling Mum who's into lentils. How, umm, radical.

Christ your judgey pants must be chafing

Let's have a look at your list and the things on it I have done:
bf on demand - yep
done blw - yep
offered proper grown up healthy food - yep
not made food an emotional issue - yep
kept crap out of their kids lives - yep

and yet my child eats an even smaller list than Rockpool's does.

Stupid? Close-minded? But hey, at least my conscience is clear about posting really identifying threads about my 'friends' on MN. Let's hope she's not a member eh?

Dowagers - I did it all too. DS2 eats one kind of fruit and no vegetables at all. And pretty much fuck all else. Depressing isn't it?

It's very depressing shrinkingnora. And what's even worse is the number of people who think it's all our fault :(

Am I the only one hoping Cuddlers one on the way has serious food issues?

Cuddler did you actually read my posts,I may well have done everything your way too?

When you've had twins or a fussy eater yourself then by all means lecture us on your immense knowledge of fussy eaters, until then read a few threads on fussy eaters with mothers who have actually experienced the misery as it might educate you.

On the upside it has educated me and I am no longer one of those people.

And Rockpool, it is possible that a teeny tiny bit of me wants to open a 'help my dc won't eat' thread in a couple of years time and find it is Cuddler. But the rest of mean doesn't want anyone to have to go through it. Or is it the other way round?