re: Space awareness in campsite loos

[Mindyourownbusiness]

Went camping this weekend, lovely little break, great very spacious facilities, shower rooms, long row of loos and handbasins and mirrors opposite (about 12 in a row). Also a row of mirrors with just worktop/ shelf (no basins) for make-up, hair drying etc I suppose.

First morning - in l goes with my toilet bag to do my oblutions. I was standing in front of second to end basin looking in mirror cleaning my face with cleanser/cotton wool with a headband on etc and thinking - ' oh this is nice /great facilities etc etc ' ( last place we stayed they were very very basic and not good ). There was no-one else in at all.

With that in she comes - a youngish woman about thirty/thirty five, walks past the whole row of sinks to get to the end one next to me, maybe eight inches between our elbows, then proceeds to vigourously brush her teeth.

Why ?

This sort of thing has happened to me before and l just dont understand - l really dont.

I even went back in later with my friend and l pointed out where l had stood and where she stood and there was no extra space or extra light or any other factor at all to explain why she chose that sink. Also l observed lady later interacting with her group and she seemed intelligent , polite etc etc.

Very puzzling and makes me more than a little l'm afraid.

Rant over.

I had to go into town today for an appointment, I was 20 minutes early so walked up to the town square and sat on a bench in the beautiful sunshine. There are six benches in the square; I was the only one sitting there. A harassed-looking mum with a baby in a buggy and a toddler came and sat in the middle of 'my' bench (I was at one end), turned slightly so her back was sort of to me, and completely ignored me while her toddler played and she fiddled with her phone. She was about two feet away from me, with the entire square to choose from.

I waited a few seconds to see if she was going to make eye contact or start a conversation, then I walked over to a different bench. She made eye contact then, but it wasn't exactly friendly. I think I offended her!

"No one person asked for a slice of an uncut cake, they were all labelled for sale and the price per slice."

I'd have picked an already-sliced one, to save you the potential trouble of being left at the end with 12 cakes all with 1 slice taken out!

I did a psychology course because I'm interested in why people do things (behave like twats mainly!) didn't learn anything interesting though :(

Thanks galifrey

< --goes off to cancel psychology course- >

I have googled a few things on personal space but all l seem to get is information on why we have a personal space and how big it is and cultural differences etc etc. Nothing on 'why' the bastards do it .

Well l did find one thing that said it was insulting as it meant to the 'intruder' that they saw you as a none person, an insignificant being so they could enter your space without a second thought or act as if you werent there.

That made me really angry.

"I agree but I find toilet cubicle selection even weirder. If I choose the end cubicle of a row of 8 I expect the next person in to choose the other end cubicle, the next one to go in the middle of the two occupied ones etc."

Yes. It's not fricking rocket science! And yet so many people seem unable to grasp this simple concept.

Yes Emma l am the same and have always thought this weird when people want to do anything other than be as far away as poss from another person when on the toilet.

But having said that l posted OP because l think my situation was even weirder than that - because it was in a long open row of empty basins that she walked past to get to the one next to me.

I mean in toilet cubicles there are certain excuses - such as they might not realise someone is in the end one until they got to that end so decided why should l walk back. Or some of the loos they have walked past to get to one next to you might have been wet seats,no loo roll, not flushed etc etc.

I know people still do this even without any of these factors and it is very annoying and beggars understanding really but this woman could actually see me and the row of empty washbasins without the excuses above because of cubicles.

I have to know, why people do this, l really do

This often happens to me in Charity shops:

the shop is empty, apart from me and staff. I start browsing. Straightaway, the lady behind the counter decides that the rail that I'm browsing urgently needs sorting. She then positions herself at my elbow blocking all access to the clothes.

Could she not wait?

Or do I look like I'm planning to nick that overwashed wolf print fleece jacket (£7.99 if you're interested) that suddenly needs a new hanger?

I had a particularly frustrating shopping trip once when everything I wanted to get someone was in the way, and everywhere I stood I was in someone else's way! I sometimes wonder if I'm invisible...

It's for the same reason people will choose to go to a recently vacated but not yet cleared table. If it is good enough for you then it is good enough for them.

Odd but true!!

One camping trip I remember going on as a teen had a highlight of a woman cocking her leg up on the sink and washing her vagine very thoroughly.

Ugh, my teeth are clenched and shoulders tense just reading this. DH doesn't do it but doesn't mind/ notice when others do, so thinks I'm an anti-social people-hater for getting so cross about it.

I hate people who stand too close behind you in queues. I look over my shoulder, let out big sighs and step forward and - they follow me, if anything getting even closer. Why?! And people who walk way closer to you to get past than at all necessary. I hate these more than ever at the moment as I'm pregnant and have SPD and so feel a bit physically timid/ not wanting to get knocked - whereas I used to make a bloody big point of shoving out an elbow/ hard briefcase that they'd then get hit by - making the idiots sorry!

Also the public transport thing - again I sit there huffing, puffing and glaring at the empty seats, and then back at them, and then back to the empty seats with incredulity, convinced they've somehow just had a moment of blindness and missed the fact there's a whole f'ing carriage empty so I don't need to smell them quite so closely!

Just remembered a time when a bloke came up and told my DH to take his bag off the seat next to him so he could sit down on the tube. I kid you not, the WHOLE carriage was empty but the two of us. I was incensed. DH said 'oh, I didn't mind.' What a saint!

YABU about the toilet cubicle thing but not about the others.

I don't give a moments thought about what cubicle to use, don't care if there's someone in the cubicle next to me, so don't examine which cubicles are in use and choose accordingly. Personal space doesn't extend beyond cubicle walls in my world. Wash basins are different as it's immediately obvious where people are.

Yes Tyler l agree. l said something along similair lines upthread. At least when occupants are surrounded by cubicles and new entrants to toilet block have to sometimes walk past a few cubicles to find a clean/dry /flushed one complete with loo roll one then they might be forgiven for diving in the first one that fits these criteria and only then realise someones in next one.
I have possibly done this myself - so focused on finding a clean one as am a bit Howard Hughes in public loos that l only realise l have a next door neighbour when l'm in.
But if they are all clean etc then l would look to see which ones have closed doors and choose one at least one door away if possible.

Oh and Superslinger my DH is the same. Do you think maybe it's more of a woman thing ?

In fact after the event in the OP when l came stomping back to tent with steam still coming out of my ears and started to tell him what had just occurred his first words were,

Oh ffs someone stood next to you in the loos - big deal

I was even more angry then and wanted to kill both him and her.

Then later on we went to a local town round the shops and there were some public loos and the ladies were closed - big 'Out of Order' sign on door. So DH went in Gents and l was just stood waiting outside (l 'd been to loo in cafe we'd just been in being the sensible one ! ).

This woman came up with her DH and he went in Gents and then she went to Ladies and saw sign. Then she spots me and decides l have got an 'i' for Tourist Information on my forehead.
Woman: Is the Ladies out of order ?

Me: ' Looks like it' (pleasantly not sarcastic btw)

Woman: 'Well where do we go then ?'

Me: 'No idea sorry, I'm not local'.

Woman: 'Well do we go in the Gents then ?'

Me: ' Well I dont actually need the loo - so that's entirely up to you.'

Woman: 'Where did you go - in the Ladies or the Gents?'

Me: (getting a tad frosty now l will admit) 'Neither - l just dont need the loo'

Woman: 'Should l use the Gents then ?'

I had a face like this by now > and at that point my DH comes out of Gents and walks over to me and clingon woman and she starts on him then - 'Ooh the Ladies is out of order - we were just debating whether to use Gents.'

DH: (very pleasantly and helpfully) 'Well theres only one other chap in - is that your DH ?'

Woman: 'Yes.'

DH: 'Well if you want to go in - there are cubicles - l will stand guard outside a minute while you go in.'

So in she went and l prayed - 'if there is a God, please please send a big 6ft,3ft wide navvy along now please Lord who is bursting to use the loo',but he didnt ! .

DH said to me when we walked away - 'What was up with your face - did someone dare to speak to you or come and stand next to you again ?'

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

My personal space when opening my bowels extends to the next village

I was once on a french campsite doing my teeth and stuff and this woman came to the basin next to me and took her top off and processed to shave under her arms then wash herself ,

proceeded*

Jins

Mrsjay presume there was a whole row of empty ones too. Maybe it was same woman , only mine had a northern accent so l doubt it .

a whole row of bloody sinks and a shower or 5 It was vile

Now I have a theory that many humans "chose" to go to the end of a row of what ever things thee have to chose between. SO, end toilet cubicles are more popular. But, people on finding the end cubicle occupied then opt for the next to end one rather than walk back to the other end or the middle.

It's the same with turdis porta loos at festivals, people start trying the doors at one end of the line and stop when they find one unoccupied.

You should have waved your arms around in a Gallic way and said

'Pourquoi ? Porquoi ?'

Then marched up and down in front of the empty basins like a lune pointing and going 'Une, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six,.....'

mindy I just randomly shuddered the whole day after my experience,

Unis @ 'Turdis loos'.

Yes l think you are right but I still want to know about the sink thing - l mean my woman did go to the end one (l was at next to end one ) and l had thought of that - maybe she has OCDs or whatever and just cant bear to go to a middle one and has to go to the end one but l dismissed that as she could have even more easily gone to the other end one iyswim.

I can see l'm gonna have to track this woman down and ask her or it'll drive me nuts !

My theory is similar to UniS's. I think most people avoid the first loo because they think it is the one most people will use. But actually most people will go to the end - because they are avoiding the 1st over-used one.

So if you go in the first loo, use the first basin etc, you are less likely to have people crowding your personal space.

I just kept getting randomly angry - like with the other lune woman later in above post. Partly at myself for not being more assertive and not having the balls to say something to her (l did mutter something under my breath in a PA kinda way but didnt challenge her directly).