to expect more from a child's party?

[Emu38]

Today was the 3rd time that I've taken my DD (age 4) to a child's birthday party at a house and there are no games or organised activity, the kids are meant to just play together. I know I probably do sound ungrateful and unreasonable but 4 year olds take ages to get into stuff and need a bit of direction. Me and the other parents end up sitting around chatting to each other. That's all very nice and I'm not unsociable but am I the only one who thinks this is meant to be a children's birthday party, let's play some games - pass the parcel, musical bumps etc? Today's party was 3 hours long. For the first hour the kids tended to cling to their parents. Is this what is the norm now?

If u had all just fecked off and left them too it then probably the kids would have happily played games!!!! shock horror!!!!
WITHOUT ADULT HELECOPTER parents stressing about what they are playing,

Well, back in the good days when i was young, they did usually have one or 2 party games. Pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey. If you were extra lucky you got to play that operation game, the skeleton with the tweezers and buzzer thing. I loved that, more so because i didn't have that game at home. The majority of the time was spent looking for food and being envious over party gifts though. Whilst any parents who stayed drank tea, chatted and ignored us.

I do think its better for kids to be left to get on with it tbh. It builds self confidence.

My preference is for a few games along the way... pass the parcel, musical bumps/statues, maybe one other activity. Then food and that's about it :)

Agree with Sandalwood about the memory tray, simon says, pin the tail etc.

Far from being resentful about the fact there were games organised, I loved them all and was glad my parents or someone else's had arranged these fun things that we wouldn't usually get to do :)

Maybe people are more jaded these days...

I waited until ds was five before I had a kids' party and I've had his two birthday parties at play centres so parents can stay or go if they please. I don't do hosting/mingling with other parents/organising children/making food. I'd rather pay a bit more and let someone else do it all for me!

OMG Noqontrol I was obsessed with the Operation game too because I didn't have it at home

And Santa never brought me a Frosty the Penguin crushed ice drinks maker

Took DS to a party today at the local softplayplace, he loved it but there was no pass the parcel, no musical bumps, no musical chairs, no musical statues, no small boxes of maltesers/smarties, no sausages on sticks etc.

How things have changed since my day the 1970's

Dammit, i didn't have frosty either. But were you one of those lucky people who had a betamax video player? I didn't, my life was ruined as a result of it!

Yay,

I remember playing Buckaroo at a friend's party, I must have been 5 or 6. It was great! I also remember my Dad making up this amazing ghost story at my birthday party (which was close to Halloween). It was about a witch that he'd caught and he had her body bits in a box. We had to stick our hands in to the box and identify the bits (grapes for eyes, cooked spaghetti for guts etc) My friends loved it and I was really proud. My parents always went to alot of effort for minimal cost.

Wow emu, that witch sounds cool. I love that idea, fantastic.

I've never been to a children's party where nothing was organised.

I have a distant memory about being at someone's party and being lifted up and made to join in a party game. I was happy sitting on the sidelines watching the others, but some random person had decided I WASN'T HAVING FUN SO HAD TO JOIN IN. I ended up crying.

What I used to like about the birthday parties when dc were little was that they were all different. Some were in soft-play places, some hired the village hall and had a massive party, some invited just a few close friends, some had lots of organised games, some were let-them-just-play-while-the-parents-slurp-wine-in-the-kitchen. They were all fun and dc all enjoyed them.

Our own recipe was decorate the biscuit whilst waiting for the last guests to arrive, then pass the parcel, musical bumps and sleeping lions, then letting them play together, then tea, then party bags.

All our DC's birthday parties are of the bugger-off-and-leave-the-grown-ups-to-drink free-play variety. Kids have a good time, grown-ups have a good time. What's not to like?

The most I would've done at that age is pass the parcel and possible a treasure hunt.

I would not thank you for not staying btw

Ds hates organised stuff so my heart always sinks when I go to a party and it is all games. He loves a bouncy castle.

Child of the 70s/80s here so we did all the usual pass the parcel, musical statues. It was an established rule though that the birthday girl/boy was not allowed to win as they had enough presents waiting for them! Then sandwiches in triangles, cake, jelly and ice cream. Mmm.

Some kids had entertainers (crap) or McDonald's parties (gross). Hated those. My mum did the best parties!

My dd turned 3 a few months ago. I bought some card crown shapes and some stick on jewels and the kids spent 20 minutes covering the carpet in stick-on jewels decorating them. This seemed to serve fairly well as an ice-breaker. Then they played, and were left to it (other than the occasional intervention to referee in the fights over who had what first!) and they were all just really excited to play with new toys. We had a quick bash at pass the parcel and then we had tea. They really didn't seem to need or want anything more structured than that and in fact could probably have done without the pass the parcel, except I wanted to start introducing dd to the idea of 'party games', and I loved pass the parcel as a kid!

I wouldn't have expected much more at this age - I think expecting every second to be planned is a bit OTT.

We had a party for my ds when he was 5 in the house. It was just the boys from his class. I'd painstakingly organised several games, planned the whole party in fifteen minute chunks. What did they want to do? Run around mad!

I think a balance of games and a bit of free play is good.

Agree Blackholes. Children can almost forget how to play and just use their imagination when everything is 'organised' play or entertainment.

My DGCs faces were a picture a few weeks ago when l had to unexpectedly look after them with no toys or anything available (long story) for three hours.
'We've nothing to play with' they wailed in horror.

We just had to make do with playing in the garden finding snails etc and making a den out of the hedge cuttings and daisy chain type jewellery out of weeds /flowers etc (including a crown for DGD - she was self appointed fairy queen for the day ).

They had a ball but were absolutely filthy and had to have a bath and all clothes in washing machine/tumble dryer but dont tell their mum .

On the programme "Child of our Time" they found that the children's absolute favourite actitivity was to go to their friends' houses and play freely.

The only parties for children of this age that i have really not liked is discos in halls where the music is too loud, so the chilren can't talk to each other and play normally. There is usually nail varnish and tattoos involved.