To have been repulsed by DH fainting?

[meMillyme]

I?m a regular user who has name-changed as I know I will likely be flamed for this! Not a wind up either ? promise I know I am unreasonable and a horrible person. Sharing my horribleness with you.

So yes DH fainted in Tesco today. We were standing by the bread when he suddenly went white and started staggering around, finally sinking to his knees in a very dramatic fashion. I rushed to him but was elbowed out of the way by loads of people trying to drag him to his feet. He was given water and gradually sat up ? then went faint again when he stood up, que more tottering and slumping over and a load more fuss.

Anyway I have taken his home and fussed over him all day, he says he still feels weak. Now the horrible bit: I just found my 6ft 3 husband staggering abound and being all weak and woozy and needing support to walk repulsive.

I know, I know I?m a cow.

fabl - so sorry to hear that :( I hope he is ok now?

Maybe I did! I don't know it's confusing.

Yeah, ok, sort of, a whole load of test were run and showed nothing. I think stress was a huge contributing factor (that is why I say he is sort of ok, nothing physically serious like a heart problem but being that stressed is not ok).

What's the point of this thread, op?

I find your attitude pretty fucking repulsive tbh.

I don't think the op is proud of herself. I think she was a bit surprised by her feelings.

As I said - an offload of guilt.

I am pretty ashamed of my feelings!

fapl; I can't imagine how terrifying it must have been. I hope things improve for him.

It's not nice to see people in a different light than your 'meme' of them. Messes with your head a bit.

Think a lot of people are over-reacting on this thread and not actually considering what's happened.

"He's ill and you don't fancy him- you Caaaaaah!"

Alternatively, because she wanted a roasting from a bunch of self righteous strangers who've never experienced wayward emotions from themselves or other people they love

OP, I think you need to think about the 'for better or for worse' bit of being married. If you can't handle a faint, how will you deal with all the potential problem of poor health in later life?

you know what the OP has a feeling she isnt proud of she isnt gloating or sneering at her husband she has explained this is how she is feeling and people are trying to help her work out her feelings , give her a break ,

and yes I was a bit sneery my first post to her,

I hope your DH is OK. I think your response is vile. Hopefully your DH won't feel the need to find a kinder second wife sometime soon.

Ok - I can 'handle' a faint. As I said I looked after DH at the time, supported and reasured him and have continued to do so at home.

This is just about feelings. Feelings which I have but haven't shown, and feel pretty bad about.

Why "repulsive"? This wouldn't be my first feeling to seeing my husband fainting. I think I would feel worried and shocked. Why did you feel repulsed?

I don't know Ophelia.

Hopefully as some of the others have suggested, out of fear.

He should be checked for diabetes. You are mean to find him fainting repulsive.

Yes I know I am.

YABU. It's a rather immature reaction.

It is a shock to see someone you think of as big and strong suddenly the opposite.

You may be worrying about what would happen if he was really ill and you had to look after him.
Thinking about when you get older.

If its the first time you have seen him like this it is understandable to be so unsettled.
I am not sure about repulsed though.

My OH is big and strong, ex squaddie blah blah.
He has MS now and can hardly walk.

It takes getting used to. He doesnt repulse me though. I doubt your OH would if he was really ill or disabled.

Although it does happen. Lots of marraiges break up after a dx of a long term illness.

I think people should calm down a bit tbh

I am sorry Ohdoadmit :( My Father has MS, I know how difficult it is to watch.

I can understand people being a bit disgusted at what I've said to be honest!

I think you should stop being disgusted with yourself and inviting the disgust of others.
Its a bit of distraction from working out why you feel this way.
IMO.

Poor man, fancy fainting public he must have been horrified at all the people watching.
I used to work at the eye dept in a hospital and it seemed to be the norm that the big tall men got all faint and passed out. me being 4 foot 11 and weighing about 7 stone at the time would step back pretty quick and try to make sure they didn't crack their head open as they went.
Strange reaction being repulsed by it though, it's just a normal reaction to being ill, in pain, lack of oxygen, any number of things. I'd encourage him to go get checked out by the GP to make sure it's nothing else.
My friends 19 year old had a bout of fainting and eventually collapsed and died from an un diagnosed heart problem. The fainting started suddenly, he'd never done it as a child.

Now I've thought about it I do know of marriages that have split up after cancer dx and so on...
You really don't want to be that person.
I'd have a really long think about what else could have contributed to these feelings-past events/people's attitudes/childhood experience/past relationships.
Or what stresses and strains you have at present that could be contributing.

I'm very good in an emergency, but the first time dh was in pain when I was with him I started to cry-couldn't cope with the one person I depend on being in pain and I panicked. That was an unhelpful reaction on my part and I had a long think about it afterwards.