To have been repulsed by DH fainting?

[meMillyme]

I?m a regular user who has name-changed as I know I will likely be flamed for this! Not a wind up either ? promise I know I am unreasonable and a horrible person. Sharing my horribleness with you.

So yes DH fainted in Tesco today. We were standing by the bread when he suddenly went white and started staggering around, finally sinking to his knees in a very dramatic fashion. I rushed to him but was elbowed out of the way by loads of people trying to drag him to his feet. He was given water and gradually sat up ? then went faint again when he stood up, que more tottering and slumping over and a load more fuss.

Anyway I have taken his home and fussed over him all day, he says he still feels weak. Now the horrible bit: I just found my 6ft 3 husband staggering abound and being all weak and woozy and needing support to walk repulsive.

I know, I know I?m a cow.

Not the best reaction? Seriously, its the worst reaction.
Yabu and sound like a cow.
However was he standing like a t-rex? Is that what caused the fainting? Is that why you have zero sympathy for the man you are married and are meant to love?

YABU Has he been to see a doctor?

why do you think you felt like that?

Repulsed? what a strange reaction. Hasn't he ever been ill before? Is it because you think if him as a big strong man and only weak little women faint or something?

then went faint again when he stood up, que more tottering and slumping over

Did you mean "cue more tottering"? Because "que more tottering" is meaningless.

Thanks for the replies - thought I would be flamed!

To answer questions: No he doesn't have health problems, he has fainted before though (just seems prone to it)

No he refused to be present when I gave birth!

YABVU shocked at how you behave towards him, aren't your worried about him? Would you have felt the same if he was driving or something dangerous eg hedge trimming and had to stop because he suddenly felt unwell and fainted?

you were flamed a little I dont understand the repulsion tbh

I understand how you feel, OP, and I think I would feel the same.

It's something to do with seeing them in such a vulnerable position when you need/ want/expect them to be strong.

I felt really disappointed with my dp when he had a kidney stone and was crying in pain. I just didn't want to see it.

I'll join you on the 'horrible person' camp, meMillyme.

I'm also interested as to why you wanted to post about it. Presumably so you can understand it? I won't go into detail but I had a pretty nasty reaction to an event once. Accepting I felt like that and thinking why helped me to stop feeling it.

Ok OP I am gonna kind of stand up for you here. I am the most unsympathetic person when other people are ill or unwell, especially if it's minor. DH knows not to even mention an illness to me or I can tend to go in a strop due to ruined plans etc. I fully appreciate I am being unreasonable but can't help the way I feel. I can imagine me tutting and rolling my eyes at the attention your DH was receiving if he were mine and it was overkill.

HOWEVER what made me a little unsettled in your post was that this reaction was BEFORE you realised he was ok. I am assuming he is ok as you haven't mentioned what made him faint. You are being totally unreasonable for not expanding on this one, I assume it was sudden and he hadn't already moaned about being unwell...

Do you think he should see a doctor?

My friend is prone to fainting. She has low blood pressure and a heart problem.

Btw you behaved supportively, and that's important

Whether or not he has health issues he really ought to see the GP tomorrow.

Oh dear..

So is this part of a general feeling that he behaves in an unmacho manner? Is there an underlying issue? Do you feel he lets you down in some way?
This incident could just be a catalyst?
Or were you brought up to believe illness is weak?

What was the actual problem for you?

I have an idea but I want you to actually think about this and work it out as chances are he will faint again.

Leave the bastard

People don't usually pass out for no reason, I suggest your OH makes an appointment with his GP and gets properly checked out.

I was on the verge of passing out a year ago when I was riding my bike. I rang the GP who asked me to see her immediately to get checked over as it was a totally uncharacteristic thing to happen to me. Luckily I was fine, but I am shocked that you are so blase about it and not at all concerned.

I think I just wanted to offload my guilt to be honest Jamie!

I haven't shred these thoughts with him by the way!

Do you not want to know why he fainted???

I could understand you finding it scary but repulsive.

Bunbaker he has been checked out - tesco called an ambulance. Sorry should have said!

I'm really not being flip, but feeling unsympathetic when a loved one is in terrible pain (kidney stones is sim to labour) suggests you need to talk through some stuff.

Maybe because you always rely on him to be archetypally strong. Maybe you are the one who gets to be vulnerable in your relationship. Seeing physical weakness was scary, perhaps you felt it let you down in some way. Fear becomes revulsion. I think these things challenge us to think a. Bit more deeply about ourselves and our relationships