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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit off with DW after hen night and cp strippers...

121 replies

shouldkeepquiet · 07/07/2012 23:01

Brief details: My DW was invited on hen night two weeks ago and there was talk of them seeing some stripper. TBH she was a bit unhappy about that part of the night as it's not really her thing at all.
I told her she should go as all her social group were going and the hen is one of her best friends.

OP posts:

BigHairyFlowers · 07/07/2012 23:52

It's true, willies are preposterous.

Cheriefroufrou · 07/07/2012 23:52

even as a straight female I can see that naked women are more aesthetically pleasing then bollock naked men - even though I find men sexy - willies are just funny looking!

men doing stripper dances look rediculous, women doing stripper dances can look graceful

Cheriefroufrou · 07/07/2012 23:53

its gross playground bum comedy basically - that is what male strippers are to most women IMO

v different to how I'ld imagine men see female strippers

AgentZigzag · 07/07/2012 23:54

Yes QueenC, grotesque and ridiculous.

It's what men might think women would like rather than based on reality.

If it was based on reality there'd have some wit up on stage who wasn't necessarily what's considered traditionally handsome, but who oozes confidence and charisma.

Or maybe someone with a bit of power, that's pretty attractive

joanofarchitrave · 07/07/2012 23:54

You don't have to think about whether you 'should' be hurt or whether you're 'allowed' to be hurt. You ARE hurt. Tell her that. Don't blame her exactly, just tell her you're hurt by it and you wish that she had gone to the hen do but skipped the strippers. That you are feeling upset by her comments about it.

She will probably get defensive... look at all the posts on here. But if you stick to how you feel, she can't deny that, it's the truth.

I think it's downright unpleasant of her to make all these comments, though at least the first one was to you. I think she should apologise.

BarredfromhavingStella · 07/07/2012 23:55

Now we get to the crux of it-good to see that men have insecurities too. Trust me when I say she knows that they come in all different shapes & sizes & is probably most likely happy with whatever she's got!

Cheriefroufrou · 07/07/2012 23:57

"If it was based on reality there'd have some wit up on stage who wasn't necessarily what's considered traditionally handsome, but who oozes confidence and charisma"

seems to me that the male strippers with female audiences model themselves more on gay porn then on what straight women find attractive mmm benedict cumberbatch

Original poster

shouldkeepquiet · 07/07/2012 23:58

Hello Queen,
If the question about female strippers is aimed at me i can't help as i've never been. For me it would not be a turn on at all. I would be thinking..she's probably looking at all these blokes thinking what a lot of tossers or more likely ..when i get home i must remember to get the slow cooker ready for tomorrow and iron little jimmy's school uniform. I guess you would have to be able to do some heavy duty objectification to not worry/forget that there is a person underneath the spangly knickers.

OP posts:

joanofarchitrave · 07/07/2012 23:59

An erect penis is a thing of beauty.

AgentZigzag · 08/07/2012 00:00

Why do you think she drew the comparison for you between their nobs and a horse taking a piss OP?

Did she think you'd be interested in that nugget of information?

Maybe she thought she was making a valuable contribution to the conversation?

I can only guess because I don't know her, is she that naive that she didn't know they come in different shapes and sizes?

AgentZigzag · 08/07/2012 00:01

Take those beer goggles off and have another look Joan

Cheriefroufrou · 08/07/2012 00:01

do male strippers show erections?

I thought they just swung their flacid willies around in circles or from side to side? the only two I've seen just did that anyway

BarredfromhavingStella · 08/07/2012 00:02

It's a thing of pleasure but not of beauty

YouOldSlag · 08/07/2012 00:03

YANBU. Tell her it hurts your feelings. I'd feel the same I think, if my DH was still thinking about strippers long after the event.

I couldn't stop him thinking about them (why would I?) but would probably prefer not to hear him telling me he's thinking about them.

If it's any consolation, I saw a male stripper once and it was easily the least erotic thing I've ever seen. Comical, yes.

Sexy? About as sexy as a sink full of dishes. Hope this helps.

joanofarchitrave · 08/07/2012 00:05

I think a hard-on is magnificent, no beer goggles required. And no, strippers don't have them, I'd imagine it would be close to impossible to get or stay aroused in that situation, and anyway, it might be illegal (?) Hence why IMO male strippers are not an erotic sight. Not that I've actually ever seen one.

Socknickingpixie · 08/07/2012 00:08

in order for me to offer the proper advice and support do you have a picture of these strippers.

only joking but seriously imho male strippers are a joke there willys are not as big as claimed for heavens sake they get a semi lob on and tie a lacky band round it so it looks bigger and besides massive cocks can be stupidly daft i once knew a bloke who couldnt get it up without passing out, he never had sex ever.
your wife loves you after all why would she be married to you if she didnt,im sure she thinks your cock is fantastic,if she didnt then she wouldnt ever bounce up and down on it.
but she is being insensative i expect if the suituation were reversed all hell would breal loose

Original poster

shouldkeepquiet · 08/07/2012 00:08

Do strippers show erections. Well the only bit of gossip i've heared from the night-not from my wife - was that the sripper got one women on the stage an kissed her for quite a while. They said it was because he was getting a little limp and it soon perked up. This came from another girl who was there and they said they thought it was out of order and went a bit too far.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 08/07/2012 00:08

It really is an eye opener when a man posts here about an issue that is usually a problem for women, i.e dh/dp saw strippers/went to lap dancing club. Any man would be vilified for that alone, let alone talking about them after the event

Couldn't agree more. If the roles were reversed the thread would now be overrun by people wading in with stuff about exploitation and telling the OP how unacceptable the OH's behaviour is.

AgentZigzag · 08/07/2012 00:09

Magnificent I could agree with joan, but that doesn't necessarily translate into aesthetically pleasing in the scheme of Lovely Things People Like To Gaze At.

The one I saw had a semi-erection - I think just so he didn't embarrass himself

Cheriefroufrou · 08/07/2012 00:10

ewww OP no wonder she can't stop thinking about it, it sounds like it was GROTTY (and not in a good 50 shades way)

joanofarchitrave · 08/07/2012 00:14

I'd agree this thread would be pretty different if this were a woman posting. And I don't often think that, actually. Apart from anything else, surely AnyFucker would be on this thread by now if it were by a woman.

recall · 08/07/2012 00:16

what is a cp stripper then ?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 08/07/2012 00:18

A typo, recall.

recall · 08/07/2012 00:20

If she was that turned on by it, she wouldn't be on about it to you, she is sharing how funny it was. And it sounds like placid swinging about if it was like a horse having a piss - don't be threatened by it - trust me.

AgentZigzag · 08/07/2012 00:20

Is it because it seems like a male stripper wouldn't be exploited in the same way a woman could be joan do you think?

I'm not saying men aren't exploited in the sex industry, but male stripper shows look more above board and mainstream than the equivalent for women.

Maybe it's because they're not attractive and so not a threat in any way to male partners of the women seeing them?

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