That society is unfair about breastfeeding and mums

[pommedechocolat]

You are damned if you do and damned if you don't...

I would define myself as m/c and live in a nice area in the south by the way (although both dh and myself come from w/c parents with the traditional suspicion of bf in all forms for their generation).

With dd1 bf 'failed' and she was ff from 8 weeks. I felt that I was looked down upon for my method of feeding at various baby groups, I also felt very guilty about the choices I'd made as time went on. With dd2 I am still ebf at 18 weeks despite the silent reflux and cmpi she's currently being diagnosed with and the resulting boob phobia we've gone through.

I feel that I am part of the 'club' I'd felt excluded from by ff (and everyone nods approvingly when you say you're bf still) but at the same time viewed as slightly 'icky' when I feed in public (especially as standing up and odd positions etc with the boob phobia). It's strange with parents and ils too as I am the first in either family to even really try bf.

It seems that as women we are expected to lay down everything for our children to give them the best start but to not do it in front of anyone (or talk about the downsides such as leaking, engorgement etc at all).

I'm not starting a ff vs bf thread here just frustrated by societies attitudes to me as a woman on yet another frigging issue as I make my way through life!

Yes MsPaperback breast milk can aid in reducing the chances of necrotising enterocolitis, however my understanding (and this is partly based on a friend of mine who has done lots of research on this and my own research) is that the protective effect in regards to gastro-enteritis has been variable. All of the other links are casual and have not been proven.

Also if you take into consideration the fact that my children had issues with lactose intolerance the idea of breastfeeding them to prevent digestive issues is ridiculous.

The small benefit of possibly preventing gastro-entiritis (and I have known a bf baby to suffer from this, although not in this country) to me is outweighed by the convenience in FF.

I cannot understand why anyone would find it astounding, the topic is just such a non issue. There are always 'facts' in every debate and there are always people who support them and people who don't. Its like the smacking debate, the vaccination debate the allowing children to drink tea debate. I was never breastfed and I don't feel slighted or as if this has negatively impacted in my life in anyway so I don't see why my children would.

I once again recommend people read this recent article about the topic as I found it really interesting and supports the point I'm making. Despite what people say the debate isn't really about health benefits or convenience it is all about the idea that mothering has become a competition and each side represents certain values.

Rubyfake, I used gastroenteritis as an example, of course breastmilk has far many other benefits to a baby but if you chose to ignore these or want to convince yourself that formula compares in any way that is up to you. there are enough facts out there that show why, in most cases, breast milk is best. It can and does make a difference and that's good enough for me.

paperback- are you a dentist? I thought they were the only ones that could tell the difference between bf and ff babies? My ff from 8 weeks baby was a long lean easy baby that met milestones way ahead of time and my ebf baby at 20 weeks is a fat fussy squidge

ruby - my ebf baby is cmpi and I have told that my dairy free bm is by far and away the best milk she can have. Neocate etc are really grim.

I think a lot of the bf info around is silly - bm won't make you thin and clever but I do believe as the natural baby food it will have health advantages that are more difficult to see. The health advantages for the bf mother are enormous - i don't want to pass up on them!

I didn't find FF convenient TBH i found it a PITA, I find BF much more convenient, if in doubt whip one out as my mum says , but seriously it makes no difference how you feed your baby, some BF, some MF, some can't and some don't simple as that. people have used Wet Nurses for centuries we are just lucky enough to now have an alternitive.

"IME those who FF or Mixed Feed are less likely to judge, as they know what being judged feels like - its the BF extremists who are the real judgeypants, as this thread has already just demonstrated"
I'm sorry but you sound like your trying to hard to justify your decision to FF, why do you care what anyone thinks really, when you LO goes to Oxford will you stand outside saying "and do you know he was FF" no you won't because it won't and doesn't matter

New mums need support in their decisions not arguments about how your wrong whatever you do.

I'm sorry but you sound like your trying to hard to justify your decision to FF, why do you care what anyone thinks really, when you LO goes to Oxford will you stand outside saying "and do you know he was FF" no you won't because it won't and doesn't matter

Actually I mixed fed, and I agree it makes no difference what you do, and my POV is whether you BF or FF or both, it really doesn't influence the outcome.

But it's actually the BF fundies who argue you get extra intelligence from all that breastmilk - I'd expect them to be the ones standing outside Oxford :o

Bf reduces risk of certain cancers and osteoporosis.

To me that makes sense, using the milk production facility must incur a healthier outcome for a boob.

I think individual women worry far more about their feeding choice/outcome than anyone else does. Some of my friends BF, others FF. Who cares? Anyone who actually looks down on one or the other is a bit odd IMO.

Maples you have hit the nail on the head in so many ways, of course bf is recommended for a reason but so many people are desperate to say it makes no difference. And spot on about admissions to hospital re ff V bf

I am so confused that people think FF is convenient. My boobs are attached to me, always at the right temperature and clean. Also, it's free. I don't care if people FF or BF but I really don't understand the convenience argument.

BTW I mix fed so no axe to grind either way