to wonder whether I should say something to my friend about her carseats? (more of a WWYD really..)

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

I have a friend who seems to see the next stage of carseat as something achieve, as a sign of growing up. She moved her two DSes (3yo - the same as my DS1 - and 1.5yo) into stage one carseats when they were each around six months old, because they 'looked cute' and 'it made them look like big boys'. She has never had the straps tight enough for either of them - my DS1 used to be quite a chunky monkey, compared to her skinny DS1 definitely so, and the straps were pretty lose on him once when she gave us a lift into town. I tightened them quite a lot.

She's just posted a picture of her DS1 on the dreaded Facebook in a stage two carseat (the one meant for 4-11 year olds, I think) and said that she 'just thought she'd try him in it' and that he 'really likes being a big boy in it'. Well, that's lovely maybe, but what if she has a crash? Is it actually dangerous for them to be moved up before they're big enough for the next stage of carseat? I'm assuming they have stages for a reason.. there is no way her DS1 is anywhere near the 40lb weight limit or that he's tall enough to warrant a new carseat, he's very slim and petite.

Should I say something to her? AIBU to get involved? I genuinely don't think she even thinks it's all that dangerous, or that there are any risks involved in not having children properly secured in the right stage carseat..

Must sometimes be that a child needs to move up due to height while still being very light? DS2 is 5, about average height and probably still doesn't weigh 15kg (skinny streak of nothing)....he's been in a high backed booster for some time now, he was far too tall for the straps on the group 1 seat to be safe anymore.
I put DD in his seat to stop her very enjoyable game of running repeatedly as fast as possible into the road while I cleaned the car the other day. FWIW she looked perfectly comfortable and the strap went nicely under her arm. She's 20 months and small and will be staying in her Group 1 seat for a very long time yet. Just looking cute/comfy is not good enough.

mybaby 123 seats are the answer to light tall dcs, our britax evolva can fit my 7yo tall sister in in the harness, ofc she weighs too much but height etc she fits.

I would say something if you're feeling brave enough.

Just can't bear it when I'm asked to strap a friend's kid in and they complain it's too tight, only for friend to loosen it to pointless lengths and take away any protection it offers, because they "don't like it tight".

please tell me where she lives so I can be EXTRA safe driving round her car.. the idea that some poor soul, involved in an accident with her may feel responsible for the death of her child for the rest of their lives makes me feel sick, when infact it is her responsibility!

I had a major accident last year. DDs 1 & 2 are old/tall/heavy enough to be fine, which they were. DS1 (4) was in a HBB and was fine. The three of them had friction burns from where the seatbelt pre-tensioners did their job. DS2 was in his stage 0+ car seat and slept through the whole thing, unscathed.

Me? I was burned and had lacerations from where the steering wheel blew out with the airbag and cracked ribs from the arm rest.

However, we were all safe. All bits of plastic did their job fine and have been replaced.

The moral of the story - I know that they were safe being in the correct seats despite a high speed motorway collision with an hgv. I don't know they would have been if not. Never mess with car seat stages.