to wonder whether I should say something to my friend about her carseats? (more of a WWYD really..)

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

I have a friend who seems to see the next stage of carseat as something achieve, as a sign of growing up. She moved her two DSes (3yo - the same as my DS1 - and 1.5yo) into stage one carseats when they were each around six months old, because they 'looked cute' and 'it made them look like big boys'. She has never had the straps tight enough for either of them - my DS1 used to be quite a chunky monkey, compared to her skinny DS1 definitely so, and the straps were pretty lose on him once when she gave us a lift into town. I tightened them quite a lot.

She's just posted a picture of her DS1 on the dreaded Facebook in a stage two carseat (the one meant for 4-11 year olds, I think) and said that she 'just thought she'd try him in it' and that he 'really likes being a big boy in it'. Well, that's lovely maybe, but what if she has a crash? Is it actually dangerous for them to be moved up before they're big enough for the next stage of carseat? I'm assuming they have stages for a reason.. there is no way her DS1 is anywhere near the 40lb weight limit or that he's tall enough to warrant a new carseat, he's very slim and petite.

Should I say something to her? AIBU to get involved? I genuinely don't think she even thinks it's all that dangerous, or that there are any risks involved in not having children properly secured in the right stage carseat..

A simple booster seat is legal from 3 years, providing the weight limit is met, yes. Not ideal, but maybe better than nothing and a lot easier than moving a full seat from car to car.

Going against the manufacturers weight limits is not only stupid and dangerous, it's illegal. Why on earth put a 4 month old into a group 1 seat?

I also think that the "9 months or 9kg" is misleading. 9 months should be the absolute earliest. Also, the shop guidelines seem to imply it's the age at which the average weight is 9kg, when it's more like a year.

My DD1 was small and was in her baby seat until 20 months. DD2 is bigger, and I moved her into a group 1 seat yesterday, at over 15 months (she's bigger than DD1 was at 20m) and felt a little bad at doing it so early!

I really don't get the whole thing about putting them in the next size up as soon as possible (or sooner)!

Oh, and for those who aren't clear, this explains the law about car seats and ages.

On the same note for my pfb :) I have a travel system with a rear facing car seat and a isofix base she is due in August. Can anyone recommend any decent car seats expense is irrelevant I just want the safest be it a cheaper one or a more expensive one. It says they should be in a rear facing car seat until they are 3 now doesn't it? Yet I havent seen any seats that state ths on them?

I have a friend that moved her DS into the high back booster seat when he was 3, not tall enough or heavy enough at all (my DS was bigger but was under the recommended weight so I didn't change him) - she did it because he wanted to have a seat like his brother - bloody ridiculous!

I haven't said anything as its up to her about how she keeps her children safe - she lets them do all sorts of outragious and dangerous things and just laughs and says - aw they always do that and I can't seem to stop them.

up to her really!

OP - your friend says she knows when they're ready ?
Isn't she lucky to be so intuitive!
She'll be telling you a happy mum = happy baby next.

Leonie, thanks I think one of the problems is that MIL has arthritus and finds it difficult to fasten them in.

There is some interesting stuff in the new Freakonomics book about car seats. There is very good evidence that rear-facing car seats prevent injury and death. They are great and I wish I could keep DD in one until she was 35 10. However, once children are front-facing there is less good evidence that car seats do an awful lot more than a seatbelt to prevent death.

It is in the interests of the car seat manufacturers to make out that it does so that means they crash test a lot. So, they are paying the crash test facilities a lot. So, that means the crash test facilities are very interested in keeping that business. That means that if someone who wants to prove that car seats don't do a lot comes along, will they get time in a crash test facility? Probably not. The crash test facilities are motivated to find that car seats work because that is their bread and butter.

It made interesting reading.

I admit to being in a hurry to get them into high backed boosters because I hate bloody faffing with car seats.
No matter how 'easy' they are supposed to be they always seem to take ages to get the kids in. The straps seem to loosen and tighten every time I try and get them in.
I really hate car seats.

However I dont hate them enough to risk the life of my child or having my head taken off by a flying child.

I suspect that a lot of people feel the same as I do re faffing with seats and convince themselves that as long as the DCs are in a seat they will be safe.

I have trained DC4 to 'sort out his straps' whilst I am putting DC5 in his seat. This consists of him pulling the shoulder straps over and getting the buckle bit between his legs. This saves time and makes him feel like a big boy. I do all the proper strapping in of course.
DC5 is beginning to get the hang of it too.
Helps a lot since I have switched to a 2 door car!

trying I have similar issues with my ils, pfb is now almost 5, basically they are not allowed to transport, any of the dcs. They don't care about the evidence, they don't listen to how we wish them to restrain our dc, so they don't drive them anywhere without me or dp strapping the children in and getting in the car too, as we recently looked after our nephew, MIL got in the car beside him and loosened his straps "he's uncomfy" well yes because he should still be in his maxi cosi baby seat not that cheap shit ff nania thing YOU brought and forced sil to use.

My mum now understands, but she doesn't drive, she has once or twice took them in my aunts car, if we fit the seats I trust her to fit the child iyswim. Mil I couldn't she'd see it as a victory ignoring 'our rules' never mind the law.

signet sign up to which? And have a look. From my personal experience and the cars I've had, maxi cosi cabriofix or pebble and recaro young profi plus are the best infant cariers. But it depends on your car. Which? Is the best place to start :)

I reported someone to the police ( non emergency number of course ) who I spotted driving with an approx 3 year old on his lap. I was furious. Even more so when the police told me the car reg wasn't listed so they were driving without insurance.

Can I ask about car seats now? My six year old is in a high backed booster. Not planning on changing this any time soon.

My boyfriends children are on booster cushions. They are 2 and 3. (almost 3 and 4) but both very tiny. The older one is only about an inch taller than the younger one if that)

Is this legal? I didn't think it was but when I mentioned it briefly he seemed to think it was fine. I just said it wasn't and changed the subject. I don't really like booster cushions but it isn't really my place after I've said something once. I did say they'd never be in my car like that though.

Dozy, without knowing weights just working on averages, my dd is 3.7yo and still in a 5pt harness, ds is 4 and moved to HBB with adult belt 5mnths ago.

You are right HBB at the very least.

Sorry ds is 4, 5 next week.

Booster cushions aren't being manufactured for much longer as HBB is far safer, sips etc.

Booster cushion is legal if the child is over 15kg. Average for a just turned 3 year old is 14.5ish, though.

Thanks everyone. Pretty sure they are both under average they are tiny cute little things. Not sure when the 2 year old turns 3 but the other is pretty much 4. None of my business really unless in my car but I do worry.

Is it a legal thing or a recommendation?

wanted to tell her that no child under the age of 3 should be forward facing
I couldn't agree more. It makes me quite sad that a few people have said extended rear facing is unrealistic, can i ask why?

Signet if extended rear facing is something your interested in i would have a look on the in car safety centre's website. The britax hi way is from birth to 25kg, the britax two way elite is 9-25kg and i think the kiss is birth to 18kg and isofix. They are good on advice too if you email or call them and you can also get info off mums groups- there is an extended rear facing group on babycentre that got some good feedback off.

The law says they must use the appropriate restraint, all booster seats (high backed and cushion variety) are in the Group 2/3 category, which is minimum 15kg. The seats are not approved for weights below that, hence it's illegal to use one for a smaller child as it's not an "appropriate restraint".

I think it's ridiculous that it's done on weight at that stage, TBH, I think it should be on height like the final restriction is. Of course, the child needs to be sufficiently heavy to activate the seatbelt lock, which is perhaps where the 15kg figure comes from?

yesi am - I'd like to know that to. yes getting an extend rear facing seat is a little bit of a challenge compare to popping to your local mother care. but to be honest i wouldn't trust them to fit one correctly anyway so far better to get one from an independet retailer who knows what they are doing.

we have a two way elite for our 20 month old and dd is in a very good high backed booster which is isofix. I didn't move her up until she was over 18 kg and wish we could have been able to afford two elites.

my friend mover he little girl up a soon as she could sure to not being able to put up her complaining about the straps. I didn't think that was a good reason to move seat.

yesiam I want to erf, I really do, I'm thoroughly researching it for dc3 due in december, I've only been made aware of it the past few months and cannot afford to buy new expensive seats for a 3 and nearly 5yo who I assume would be heading toward ff now anyway. As I'm currently buying a new car that ensures I can fit three big carseats in safely. Without the RF brought into it I follow the carseat rules strictly and kept dcs in infant seats until 1 1/2 almost 2yo as they were in the weight and head height.

I can understand its unrealistic as the seats are so expensive, so hard to get hold of and many people have very small or awkward cars. For me the huge factor is price, ds and dd have britax evolva plus each, £150, the britax rfer is £299. Now as I'm aware in pregnancy and have a year plus of infant seat use I can save and budget, however most people go into pregnancy and carseat buying blind, these seats are publicised.

I'm I'm 100% honest the rfing wasn't what made me reconsider it was the 5pt harness lasting to 25kg, dd is approaching 18 and far to small in my eyes for an adult belt.

Sorry if that's all rambling rubbish.

*arent publicised

My 10 year old DD went to a friend's and her mother drove them to the park. Halfway there DD pointed out to her friend that she'd forgotten to wear her seatbelt. Turns out the girl didn't even know how to! She is TEN. I guess it means she's never worn one, or perhaps only when she was much younger.

I agree with stateo admittedly they are pretty expensive and not nearly advertised enough. However the Britax Hi-way is £249 and when you think most people will buy a group 0 seat at £100-£150 then a 1-3 seat at the same price it works out about the same but for just one carseat that will see you all the way through but it's making people aware of it while they are still pregnant as you said so they know to save for it and don't end up like we did not finding out about it once ds was 6months and paying for 2 seats when one would have sufficed.
I also understand what you are saying about the smaller cars but actually you would be surprised at what you could fit in to even a smaller car. I'm currently on a mission to fit 3 ERF in a row in my vw golf and the in car saftey centre have told me they managed with an audi a3 before which isn't any wider than my car so fingers crossed.