Loud Pooing In Public Toilets...

[QueenSconetta]

Person in next cubicle to me today, loud and grunty - ewww, just please don't.

AIBU?

I have had some of the worst irritated tummy issues when in public - it is mortifying as I am the type to flush to cover noises at home... I never once pooed at school etc. After a month of percocet though I got the most horrific constipation of my life... agonising pain, worse than passing my firstborn... I had to actually stick a finger up and dig the fecker out in chunks, it was that hard it wouldn't pass. In a public loo. Pretty sure I was audibly weeping from the pain...

Usually though it is the oposite problem. Sensitive tummy, dodgy restaurants. I often don't make it out of the establishment before it hits me. I've passed chicken korma that the waiter could have shovelled back on some other unsuspecting bastard's plate since it looked the same coming out as going in... TMI, I know :D

I have every admiration for someone that can poo without being self conscious about it when they're someone in the next cubicle.

I can't come out of the cubicle until the other person has left the room if I've even let squeak a fart.

Last time I gave blood I felt unwell after. Went to the toilet and did a poo and thought I felt better. The toilet wouldn't flush (this beaut stank) and I then fainted, my dd ran to tell the nurses who came in to find me on the floor in a stinky cubicle

You poo discretely by doing it at home or when nobody else is in the toilets. You poo discreetly in a public toilet by not grunting and trying not to make a splash

And when it is the tenth time that day, you barely managed to close the door and get your pants down before a multicoloured pebble dash you can't put paper down first.

Oh and then having to go and get maintenance because the damn thing won't flush.

What about when you go into public toilets with your future mother in law and hear her "noises". That was embarrassing when we came out.

Love this thread

This thread has really made me laugh!

I've had years of being anally rententive at work for fear of anyone hearing my 'bowel movements'. So much so, that when I had my DD, the midwife actually commented on how 'tight' my pevilc floor muscles were . She obviously thought I'd been practising in preparation for birth, and didn't realise that I'd been badly constipated throughout pregnancy and my but cheeks were so tightly clenched trying to hold onto the massive build up of gas due to severe constipation. Now, even at 7, my DD still gives a running commentary on what I'm doing in the toilet, if we happen to be caught short out and about. I've perfected the silent poo do you think scientologists practise that too? but that seems pretty pointless when you have a 7 yr old asking if I'm having a squeeze our 'terminology for pooing and can she look at my poo when I'm done she's fascinated with poo. Ahem.

There was a thread on here a while ago about someone who could only poo when the house was empty and was conspiring to send her DH to the shops cos she needed a poo. Think it might have been Bupcakes

Remember being horrified at not being able to just poo when you wanted,

This thread has really made me chuckle.........
I have crohns so poo around 15 times a day. I can't be precious about noise and the smell......................lets just say its arse carnage or arseaggedon.....
It literally permeates around the house...... it has a smell of its own and is so loud you can probably hear it in the next street.
I have pooed in nappies as an adult, shoes, by the roadside, in the mens cubicle, in front of lorry drivers, in my clothes.
I literally cannot afford to have any shame..........

wannabe I feel for you, it must have a real impact on your quality of life sometimes.

I cant poo anywhere, but my own toilet so my need to plop will never affect others, i even wait until the dh has gone to work

YABU. I guess I'm quite relaxed about poo. I think it comes from my family.
When I was growing up, we had one toilet for a family of 7 (5kids, 2 parents), and it didn't have a door. So we just pooed in the open, as it were.
I didn't realise at the time this set-up was somewhat unusual. Then, my eldest sister got married when I was about 11, and it transpired after a few years that my BIL, bless him, found it extremely difficult to use our toilet when they were visiting (he waited until everybody was asleep, apparently, or got stumbled upon by various members of the family, the poor guy). My sister told my parents about this, and my dad obligingly put up a door. It is still there 20 years later, but I don't think there will ever be a lock. That would definitely be a step too far.

Lol id want the door to contain the stank!

A bathroom definitely needs a door!!!

Well, if you think about it, it doesn't really need a door. I didn't have one until my teens and I'm not traumatised. But yes, it's definitely more comfortable with one.

Well, what about this one! My DS1 hadn't got a key to get in, left his training course to come home to poo cos they never have loo roll. I was out, he jumped in the back garden, had a poo behind the conifers and wiped himself with a holey sock on the washing line. He said,'don't worry Mom, I buried it!'

The last time I heard someone poop in a public loo I was tempted to tell her to go and see her GP. The scattergun sound really wasn't right. She left the loo before I did though.

My parents and i never close the loo door. bath, shower, shit, shave, it's all shared (and always has been - when i was a teen people thought it was weird that dad and i were completely happy naked in front of each other, and i would have a wee while dad had a shower, despite having an en suite of my own).

I push the door to if i am having a poo at home (the house i live with DP) if DP's there and downstairs. If he's upstairs i close it. If i am weeing tho the door is open.

When we started seeing each other i just walked in while DP was in the bath (to wash my face or something). DP was . I pointed out that after what we'd just been doing i think i had seen it all!

I started washing his back as he sat rigid. He said he'd never been so intimate with anyone (i felt really sorry for him).

When we got our house we had a double bath put in and now we always bathe together. And he is now just as relaxed as me :)

We even share our toothbrush (which apparently is a massive MN no no)

Spuddybean I do admire your attitude to nakedness. It's nothing to be ashamed of, nudity doesn't have to mean 'sex' etc.

But I have to say, the very idea of seeing my Dad in his pelt would turn me into a crazy, howling, demented mess!

LOL- this thread has really cheered me up after an awful week :-)

fwiw, I try my hardest NEVER to poo in a public toilet - can't believe the PP who said they would call maintenance after a multi-coloured peebled dash that won't flush. I wouldn't in a million years be owning up to that, I'd be hotfooting it out of there the minute I knew the coast was clear LOL!

Spuddy. We were the same in my family! Nothing wrong with naked family members.

My exH's family (3sons M&D) had the most repressed attitude to bathrooms and bodies despite having only one bathroom. They all kept their toiletries and towels in their rooms in wash bags and took them into the bathroom with them and then straight out again. There was no communal products.

Once when i was staying i mentioned i had period pains and ex's dad became very angry with me and said 'in the 38 years i have been married to MIL i have never known when she was menstruating'.

Seriously? How can you keep it that secret with someone you live with?