Loud Pooing In Public Toilets...

[QueenSconetta]

Person in next cubicle to me today, loud and grunty - ewww, just please don't.

AIBU?

Guys. Seriously. Courtesy flush. Sucks down most of the odours too.

Try having to use public loos because there is no other choice, then there being a chorus of horrendous noises.

I've been told that by someone with IBS by the way. It's not me, oh no not at all.

Vivian. I have a recurring dream like that! Where i am pooing in a library!

agree with flushing, makes life easierhides noise and most of stink but if there is a queue waiting to use the loo there always is when I need to poo they will know you have pooed because you double flush and take ages

and what about the stubborn poo that wont go when you flush? you end up flushing like a maniac

Erm yabvvvvvu it's a toilet right! Sometimes the little blighters are tricky to get out and need that extra encouragement

I am currently working in a stuffy office, and for the first time in my life I suffered from constipation followed by gushes of water, poo and air.

I was only here about a month when it happend. I had to relieve myself, once the cork was out I was there for about 5 mins offloading all the back -up.

Left the cubicle mortified, but the lovely lady who was in the ladies bog at the time has always been friendly and chatty to me since. Bizarely we connected on some level.

TMI??

Bogs in the library??? WTF?
Didn't they get Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhd loudly by the staff.

coconutty I don't think so

"breathe out silently while bearing down."

Last time did that I gave birth!

Our toilets at work have very poor drainage. Once I pooed, quietly and without calling it a fucker I may add, went to flush and the bowl just kept filling with water.

Up, up, up till my poo was floating merrily as if to say 'ha, ha I ain't goin' nowhere'.

I was quite prepared to remain in that toilet for the rest of my natural life rather than walk out and leave it bobbing around.

Luckily the water slowly drained away once I dared flush again 'twas gone.

My ex's great aunt once told me over Sunday dinner that if you have trouble pooing you should raise your right foot off the floor and say murder.

Apparently it works everytime.

'Thanks great aunt madface. i'll try that, can you pass the sprouts, they might help it along too'

I once did a poo that was truly unflushable. But it was at home. Nothing would shift it. DH had to break it up with a stick from the garden

Once I was on a train and I got a sort of IBS thing I used to get (which I don't get anymore). I felt the telltale cramp, and heard the gurgling noise that meant I was about to let loose about 2 litres of brown liquid, and headed for the loo.

Got in there, filled this god-forsaken loo with my green/brown coloured filth, went to flush and realised the bastid thing was broken. Not blocked; actually broken (as in the flush button type scenario)

Some poor, poor cunt had to sort that out. I hope he/she (but probably he) got a bloody good payrise that year.

The grunting is funny. Do people even do that when they are in the privacy of their own homes? I understand that splashing and farting are inevitable but grunting!

I might give a satisfied sigh, but I don't tend to grunt...

Takes me back years ago to a boyfriend whom i thought was wonderful and tall,dark and very handsome as well. For our 1st romantic weekend away, we booked a miniscule cottage miles from anywhere with just the 1bedroom and ensuite bathroom and i imagined all the romantic times we would enjoy together, especially as we lived 200miles away and only saw each other fortnightly at our parents houses.
Well that dreamy bubble was soon burst when said boyfriend announced that he hadn't managed to do a poo all week and the entire 1st day seemed to be just full of him grunting and straining,even got out of our share bubble bath with candles to sit on the loo right next to me for more grunting and gurning,didn't even ask me if it was ok.....it would not have been!!!!
The next day,sunday until we left in the late afternoon was literally hours of him grunting and plopping and grunting and plopping,he kept saying would only be another 10mins and then we could go out for a walk etc but omg that man could pooh for england and whilst he was sorry that it had completely spoilt our w'end, he didn't appear at all embarassed by all his toilet noises!!!
I could never see him in the same light again and "chucked" him very soon after!

Coconutty, what do you do if your at work all day? You will need to poo at some point! Or staying at somebody's house? Do you just give yourself horrible pain? Id end up pooing myself while out if I would only poo at home!

Oh Geranium . . . . words fail me. He must have been very comfortable in your presence.

Lol how funny, I hold mine in until someone else flushes then let go, but occasionally I get a surprise poo and it just plops out!

I have only ever pooed at work once, and that was when I was doing the 'You are What You Eat' diet, which entailed eating a greengrocers worth of veg just as a snack! That diet makes one poo about four times a day...

Poo at home. On my 'own' toilet. But if DH is working in his office I go downstairs, so he can't hear any little lady poo noises.

Am a bit precious about toiletting I am.......

Oh, the courtesy flush also helps to avoid skid marks in the bowl.

I told DSthat one- and he does it diligently now

Geranium I think Iwould have chucked said boyfriend too. Not really behaviour for a blossoming new relationship is it??

haha geranium how could anyone poo in front of someone? Especially on your first dirty weekend.

I was seeing a gorgeous younger man from Leeds. We decided to meet at a b&b in Nottingham for shagging. The walls were paper thin and i couldn't bring myself to have a shit. so for the whole weekend i had my buttocks clenched and wouldn't allow myself to sleep in case i farted. I just couldn't enjoy sex as i was worried about 'letting myself go'. On the Sunday we went to a Greek restaurant and i went to the loo and totally blocked their toilet. Sadly it was too late to have my way with him.

The irritating part was a couple next door were having the loudest chandelier swinging sex and at breakfast everyone was looking at us like we were the culprits - chance would have been a fine thing!

These are hilarious. I only ever poo in public toilets if absolutely necessary! Having said that, my first weekend away with my dp was staying in a static caravan in which you could hear Everything. Used to wait until we went to the pub etc., public toilets were my saviour! Have relaxed more now, have to be as we have a bath/ loo in our bedroom with no door. Definitely a supporter of the loo roll down first to soften the plop!!! Xxx

Maybe you said 'dirty weekend' and he took you literally?