Loud Pooing In Public Toilets...

[QueenSconetta]

Person in next cubicle to me today, loud and grunty - ewww, just please don't.

AIBU?

All i could think was that he came from a large family of 6kids so maybe he wasn't used to much privacy!! I wonder if anyone on mumsnet now has him as a dh!!???!!!

Spuddy That actually works! Well not sure about the murder part but raising your foot off the floor...

I always, ALWAYS check whether the toilet will flush before I sit to poo when out. The incident of the squits in the museum has left me fastidious in that department .

Doesnt this courtesy flush business mean you get pooey toilet water all over ya ass and vag?!

YANBU

Having a dump in a public loo is bad enough as it is, never mind a loud 'get out you fucker' grunting, splashing poo.

I learnt the hard way not to go to toilets at petrol stations, and to check the loo flushes prior to unleashing anything but a wee. I had a hangover and had been vomming all night was ill on my way down the motorway one day and had to pull over. I waited quite a while for the only loo, and an elderly lady came out. I went to vom, and realised that the flush clearly hadn't worked, and she'd been rather ill before me. I chucked up and her liquid turd splashed up onto my workshirt. Believe me, it really helped clear out my stomach!

I then had the embarrassment of walking out of the loo, with another lady's shit on my shirt, having to leave the loo full of my vom, my shit, and her shit, with a queue of people waiting. I went home rather than to work, with my windows wound down cos of the smell.

bertrude

I feel like vomming now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

it's like Trainspotting almost.......

Definitely use a "plopper stopper" ie loo roll on top of the water. I hate doing it in public and don't understand why all public loos can't have loud music piped in to drown out the sounds! I can't understand people who can just go for it...I'd have to stay in the cubicle until everyone else had left but then I am sheltered :)

Krumbum, yes. This is why you must "lift and hover". Always lift and hover on public toilets. You won't avoid the micro spray but the worst of it...

Japanese toilets do have music playing to cover the noise, and with some fancy ones you can even select your own choice of 'accompaniment'.

OH and I have been together 2 1/2 yrs. First 18 months I couldn't have a poo when he was home (only weekends), he used to laugh at me as he couldn't understand how I could be so anal about it and I was so uncomfortable.

Then we went to stay in a Citizen M hotel where the loo is in the middle of the room surrounded by frosted perspex and adjustable multi-coloured lighting he took one look at me when we saw it after a 9 hr drive and said "I'm going downstairs outside for a fag - I'll be a while"

Am sorry but yabu! Having been caught short -many-- a few times, ( suffer with IBS), sometimes it is just not possible to be silent. Especially when you have the most horrendous cramps and wind, although I do try my best!

wait til someone uses the handdryer and just let rip :o

Brilliant thread. I used to hold it in all day, and only very occasionally did it at work.

Now I try to go every day at work, and time it when I know it won't be too busy - and the best thing that work did was to install these Dyson big fucker hand dryers. They are really noisy, so you can work between other people's flushes and them using the dryers. It's an art form

'get out you fucker!!'

Perhaps she was trying to retrieve her mooncup.

< empathises >

you dont use outside toilets? no water meters in your house(s) then ?

Spuddy 'raise your right foot and say murder' has properly made me laugh so much that DS just asked if I'm making animal noises.

Surely it is not possible to poo while hovering?? You people must have thighs of steel!

Is it bad that I'm laughing merrily about all the poo stories?!

I don't poo anywhere but at home. I spent 11 days in hospital after DC3 was born (by emcs),they wouldn't discharge me until I had done a poo. I ended up lying and saying yes I had a poo or I would be celebrating DC's first birthday in there. I didn't feel the need or cramping to do a poo but ten minutes after I got home I had a huge one.

Can I just add checking their is some loo roll/you have tissues to the list of things to check before pooing in a public toilet.

Someone at school told me the right foot murder technique. I'd totally forgotten but half the sixth form used to swear by it!

OP, YANBU, surely if you need to actually grunt it out, you'd have time to finish your shopping and go home before doing the deed? And at work, just no! If you really need to be noisy about it, find a nearby coffee house or something?

Count yourself lucky you weren't next-door to DD (2) and I today:

DD: "Just come out! Please come out! Hurry up! Plllleeeeeaaasseeee Poo just COME OUT!" Twas both loud and grunty!

At work it's not so much the noise as the smell. Someone has taken to doing a really stinky one at lunchtime. I go for a quick wee before I go back to work and I have to hold my nose. When I come out the cubicle there is always another member of staff looking at me a bit 'how could you?' I really want to say It wasn't me!!

Am strangely looking forward to trying the raised-foot-murder technique though, but in the privacy of my own home thankyouverymuchly

I am roffling @ 'get out you fucker'

I can poo wherever. And I think squatters with their sprinkler systems should be electrocuted with an elaborate toilet seat taser.

I avoid going anywhere but home. However, I have IBS so sometimes I really don't have a choice. If there's a disabled loo and I'm feeling ropey, I'll use that and not feel guilty. Some things should not be shared if at all possible!