to expect an engagement card from my colleagues?

[Ambivalence]

I?m the token spinster in a team of 10 married people. For the 2 years I?ve worked here, i?ve had to endure well meaning queries about whether I will ever settle down/ advice on how to get a man and admonishment to just get on with it as I am 35 and have only a few child bearing years left.

It?s a friendly public sector team, and my colleague are a nice bunch, so there is a constant stream of birthday cards to sign, and whip rounds for new baby presents, flowers for colleagues who are sick - my boss decides what cards etc are required and then asks me ( ALWAYS just ME) to organise them.

Last week I announced my engagement ? my colleagues did congratulate me in person, but AIBU to be miffed that it doesn?t merit a card?

tbh I wouldn't have thought of it, not for an engagement. Bet there'll be a whip around for your wedding though

You might still get one yet?

Congratulations! I've not even heard of engagement cards - maybe they haven't either?

Agree with zoo - they'll do something for you wedding though I'm sure.

You are being a bridezilla and you just got engaged. I feel sorry for your colleagues.

yabu

YANBU. My philosophy is expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.

Congratulations btw, I hope you have a long and happy life together.

Sounds like your boss is too lazy to sort it himself as it's you that always does the cards for others and obviously can't do one for yourself. Shame the other colleagues didn't think to do it though so i would say yanbu to be miffed.

Have you set a date? Congratulations from me anyway

You may still get one. But I still think yabu.
they will do one when you get married. Why would expect to have 2 collections because you are getting married.

YABU.

Engagements aren't that big a deal.

And I don't understand the importance of a piece of card with a generic hallmark message on it.

YABU, I've never given an engagement card and I think I only received one (from my aunt who obsessively sends cards for everything).

If they don't get you a wedding present/ card then feel free to come back and moan, and I'll be sympathetic. (I was going to say we'll all be sympathetic, but actually I'm pretty sure that certain people would still complain that you were greedy/materialistic and/or had a Massive Sense Of Entitlement).

I don't think engagement is really an event in the way that a birth, birthday or wedding is.

It's really nothing more than an agreement that at some point, all things being well and if we still want to - we'll get married.

I'm sure you'll get a card for the wedding.

Yabu

engagement card? YABU. Clinton Cards would be proud of you, cards for all occasions - even those that don't warrant a card!

nah I reckon they will get you an uber fab pressie for your wedding instead

Are you inviting them?

Congratulations but YABU, I would never think to give an engagement card. I'm sure you will still get one for your wedding though :)

YABU. They will probably do something nice for your wedding.

Thank you all for the congratulations, I really appreciate all the kind words.We have set a date for April (and will be trying for a baby straight away .

I am really the most un-bridezilla person ever, I've been a bridesmaid so many times and helped organise so many weddings I think i am all wedding-ed out, I am not boring my colleagues with constant wedding talk. I am not bothered about a collection, ( although here you do interestingly score 2 collections per birth - one when you leave on maternity leave, and another when the baby is born) but a card would have meant a lot. I do, after all, spend 8 hours a day with these people, take an interest - ask after their kids etc, and really make an effort to help them in their professional development/ career goals ( my role is as a supervisor).

I guess maybe engagement cards are not very common - I have always given them to friends on their engagements, so it just seems normal to me, and I have received cards from my friends

YABU, at work we just do wedding, get well soon, retirement and new baby cards, not engagement cards!

YABU. I have recently announced my engagement and was very surprised to receive a card. I didn't know they existed (although you can get a card for everything these days) so maybe they're not aware of them either.

Congratulations BTW.

Just to clarify - i am not bothered about the money, and CERTAINLY DO NOT expect any collection/ gift for an engagement ( I am not sure if it is normal for a wedding-none of my colleagues have ever married while I have been working with them) but a card would cost £2 in the M&S near the office, and would have really been appreciated.

I don't expect a collection/ gift for the wedding either - if I don't get a card then, I will be VERY cheesed off!

Engagement cards - didn't know they existed. I personally would not do engagement cards or presents.

I think YABU I'm afraid. As far as I'm concerned an engagement is merely announcing your intention to marry in the same way as getting pregnant is announcing you're pregnant means you are going to have a baby. It's the wedding or the birth of the baby which are to be celebrated, not the fact that you've announced that sometime down the line you are going to get married. Never understand people who get engaged with no plan to get married in the near future