H and I separated in early December after he had a text-fling-type-of-thing when DS was 4 months old. Obviously the whole family was very upset as they got on wonderfully with H and felt very betrayed by the whole thing.
My mother is known for being a giant drama queen, always has been always will be. Unfortunately her histrionics have made the whole situation way way more difficult for me than it already was as instead of her being there for me and letting me take the lead it has, from day 1, been all about her and how distraught she is.
She still refuses to even say his name and pulls a proper cat's bum mouth at the mere mention of him or his family.
Now I've ignored this up to now, pulled her up on it if she's being too obvious and basically made it clear from day one that H is and always will be a huge part of DS's life. It has become truly exhausting.
It's DS's birthday in August so obviously I want to have a little party, nothing fancy just family and friends at my house. She has know this was my intention for over a month.
Today she asks "how are we going to stagger the arrival times?" My answer was that I wasn't intending to, it's nothing formal so was planning on just having an open door from 2ish onwards and people can come and go as they please. That way once DS goes to bed I can have a few drinks with my fiends as it's my birthday the day before his.
Turns out she is refusing to come if stbXh is going to be there.
I tried to explain that although I understand that she may find this difficult DS is more important than how any of us feel. I am not prepared for him to have to go through his whole life never having his Grandmother and Father in the same room. We are the adults and need to behave as such.
I'm not asking her to be his best friend or welcome him back into the family fold with open arms. Just be in the same room for a couple of hours and be civil for DS's sake.
Am I really being unreasonable?