trivial things that fuck me right off

[NationalAccidentHelpline]

AIBU?

1. People who write 'mmmn' instead of mmm (too onomatopoeic)
2. People who write yeay or yey instead of yay (fucked up)
3. People who say they baked 'flapjack', not flapjacks (twee fuckwits)
4. Nom nom nom (stab stab stab)
5. Anyone who says 'make love' with a straight face (gag reflex-tickling)
6. Meegraine instead of My-graine (frankly you deserve one if you can't say it properly, sorry if you're a mIgraine sufferer and I've just really offended you, I know it's a serious condition etc etc and I wouldn't wish it on anyone who could say it properly )

That is all

1. And people who say the above ^ (you're not Miranda Fucking Priestley, but I know this has been discussed already so I won't go on about it)

Using sexy stunning or any word that would normally be used to describe an adult you wouldn't mind getting naked with to describe a minor child really annoys me as well.
As do people who pronounce plastic like plarStic the same for elastic
and people who act shocked to see small childen naked in there gardens in the summer because they are to thick to understand that it's there reaction and weirdness that sexulises it rather than the actual action. yes mil I mean you you fucked up rancid old cow

Draw instead of drawer drives me crazy.

Definately.
'it's not that, it's...' when having a discussion. Well, it is that because I just said that!
People who use crutches but walk completely normally.
Men who wear rings on their little fingers.

People that need a hearing aid and do not wear their hearing aid becasue 'I don't need it that much'. Yes you do, you have no idea what you don't hear!

And then instead of asking you to repeat yourself if they didn't hear you, MAKE SOMETHING UP IN THEIR HEAD that was never actually said/isn't actually happening Dad

People in general

Somone ringing me either for no reason or ringing me and taking their time getting to the point...

People who live near me who let their children play on the road where their children shouldn't be and then give me dirty looks for driving my car on the road where their children shouldn't be.

People who wait until the checkout operator has finished putting all their shopping through the till and then asks them for the money before they spend 2-3 minutes rooting in the bottom of their bag for their purse. It's as if it's a surprise that they are being asked to pay!! FGS, get your purse out while your shopping is being scanned!!

At the end of a night out when I am ready to go home but I am sharing a taxi home with several people, there is always one or more person who suddenly needs the toilet/see's a friend who they MUST have a 15 minute conversation for and it seems to take forever until we can leave.

People who say "lets go for a cheeky drink"

People who's FB status's say things along the lines of: "Having the worst ever day today, my world is falling apart. Can't believe what's happened". Then when people ask what's wrong, they forlornly say: "can't say on here"

People who make "aaaahhh" noises after drinking from a cup.

'I know it's a First World problem' irritates the hell out of me for some reason.

Brits abroad that order a large beer and then do the gesture of hands held apart to 'show' how large the beer should be.

People who ask if I or my kids are OK and don't listen to my answer. Just don't ask me the question then!

iTunes. Hate, hate, hate it with a passion.

angeltattoo, 'people in general' is brilliant!

Blimey, you've got it all out of your systems, haven't you!

Can anyone tell me whether I'm being unreasonable to hate, "I never..." instead of "I didn't..."?

It bugs the life out of me every time I read it.

People who grab the divider for the checkout conveyor belt an plonk it down as fast as possible as if I was about to trick them into paying for my toilet rolls, or snatch their pot noodles and hide it amongst my own goods.

The fact that my loud stupid neighbours have just come back from holiday and the FIRST FUCKING THING that he does is chuck a bin bag of rubbish in front of the house. Bin day is Tuesday.

They are loaded but fucking skanky.

Defiantly instead of definitely. Eh? Where did that one come from? I see it all over MN.

I would like to say 'stabby', what context do you say it in?

Dh never calling to let me know what time he'll be back home then acting suprised when there is no hot meal waiting for him.

People phoning me for no reason, they have nothing to say but expect me to make conversation - don't call me! (dh, dad).

Tuff instead of tooth

Adverts on tv, all of them

Empty bottles of shampoo left in the bathroom instead of being thrown out.

People I have never met wanting to be friends on facebook.

50 shades of shite.

Jellyfish.

'oooh, you're having dessert, really? You'll get fat.' Fuck off.

Really slow swimmers in the lane at the pool. People who kiss you to say hi and goodbye. I'm not French!

Oh Cherrypi, I'm the opposite, I always go in the slow lane and then people bash into me. It's not like I'm going SUPER slow, just...slow.

The other day a woman did it THREE TIMES. If you are bashing into me, fuck off into the medium lane.

Can most of mine be driving related, i am permanently angry in the car atm

People who drive slowly up to lights then slip through on amber leaving you there
People who hesitate at roundabouts, really? Did you pass your test? Its your right of way ffs
People who drive 18mph in a 30! Its 30 the traffic is fine now fucking hurry up
People who drive in the middle lane on the motorway - fuckwits

People who say 'That will learn them' its TEACH them.

People who dont wash their hands after going to the loo.

Parents being late, especially when I have said particularly I have to finish work dead on time. I do have a life apart from looking after your children.

Bloody parents who INSIST on standing in the preschool doorway so nobody can get in or out.

I mean really slow. They are almost going backwards. It's the pools fault really they need more than two lanes. Very fast people are a nuisance too. Worst offenders are people who stop at the end for a chat blocking the wall. I'll forgive you for one pass but if your still there the third time I swim up there may be passive aggressive splashing.

For those of you complaining about the wrong words being used in Mumsnet posts - I think a lot of that may be autocorrect..

For me - pacific instead of specific, would of / could of etc etc, Americanisms creeping into every day use and bad grammar and punctuation.

Oh and lorries overtaking lorries on dual carriageways/motorways, going a mere 2mph faster than the one they're overtaking, and blocking both/all the lanes... Aargh!

Men who have just one really long fingernail. ATMs that eat your card leaving you too afraid to leave and completely out of cash and therefore out of fun. Customer service people who say 'there is nothing I can do' - no, there's nothing you want to do really.
yellowraincoat I have neighbours who can't seem to realise the fact that there are foxes in london. I constantly come home to their rubbish strewn across my front garden. Last time it was the contents of about 50 dirty ashtrays just outside my front door.
Apologies EllenJaneisnotmyname. I used to work in a restaurant and the sheer boredom of it makes a sane person stabby about everything :(

Queue jumpers - I'm not standing near the cashier for my health!

Tourists - Please do not stand in front of an entrance or exit especially if you are a large group. Stairs are not a convenient seating arrangement. Do not walk side by side if there are more than 2 of you.

Person with the pushchair already on bus (parked in the outside space) - My pushchair may be small in comparison with yours but please wheel it out in order for me to wheel mine in - pushchairs can't jump.

Don't call him a little man - he has a name.
Don't tell me you're going to change his bum - bums are not interchangeable!

And breathe.

shop/store staff on till or checkout who never look up at you...even when you ask them a question!!...indeed anybody being bare faced bad mannered!!!

people who walk a straight line through you as though you don't exist!!

people not giving thank you wave/signal when driving and you didn't have to give way and were being nice to them!

answering the phone to realise it's a stupid auto-recording voice... then they expect me to wait until they can pick up their ringing phone....ffs!!!

idiots driving too close to the back of my car cos doing 30 in a 30 isn't good enough for them.....I always bounce on my brakes...killing speed by about 5mph...scares them away quite well!!! hahahahaha

onvelopes when the word is envelopes

owners of dogs who bag the dog poo and leave the bag lying on the ground...everywhere you go nowadays!!!!

Loving/hating some of these.

I hate... Middle lane hoggers, in fact all inconsiderate/oblivious to the outside world drivers.

That ikkle thing pisses me right off too, and I work in a region where it is a common pronunciation, so I'm often pissed off.

Noisy eaters. Related to this, people talking on the radio who have 'clacky' mouths.

Thin people moaning they are fat.

Just all people actually, that should just about cover it.

And personally I love a bit of stab stab stabbing, should be more of it about imo.