DS's school

[worrywortisworrying]

OK... very calmly and rationally (and possibly very long), I am going to put down all the facts and ask all you lovely MN'ers whether IABU or not...

FACTS:

1. DS is 4
2. DS has been awarded a place in our local state school for Reception, starting Sept 2012 (First choice)
3. DS currently attends a private nursery (read childcare, not preschool) 2 mornings a week (funded by 15 hours provision)
4. DS has a diagnosis of High functioning Autism (in simple terms: Very high IQ (around 200) and very poor social skills)
5. I am currently applying for a statutory assessment (to provide a statement)

Current issue:
The proposed school do not wish to accept DS in September, but have him stay at nursery, but do longer hours which would have to be privately funded (almost £800 per month for him to do 9-3)
The school will then 'look at' transitional move starting around January 2013 but could be as long as September 2013.

So, AIBU to think this is a pants 'solution' for DS, which will distance him from his peer group (there will be no other child in the nursery of his 'year) and not give him anywhere near the academic input he needs or am I being completely irrational, emotional and over reacting about my PFB staying at nursery? And having to pay £800 for the 'privilege'????

Opinions please!

If you are financially able to HE him then I would go for it

As he gets older he may be a better "fit" for school and it will have more to offer him.

All the best, he'll probably do a thesis on the pros and cons of various trains by the age of 10

Thankfully, we are in the position where finances aren't too much of an issue (I don't work, and I have a PGCE... so it's not unthinkable that I could teach him)

He has an issue with your last sentence though: There are NO cons when it comes to trains. Instead, he says, he will discuss the differences between steam and deisel trains. And, yes, he's just 4.

There seems to be a fair few schools (many independent) that are ASD specialist or have specialist units - do none of them cater for those that also have very high IQs?

Perhaps you could open a free school and be paid to teach your son and a few others

So the school will get the funds allocated for his school place yet you will have to fund an extra year in nursery? Madness.

How does the school deal with special needs generally? Are they any good? Is it the right school for him?

In your shoes I'd push hard to get the school to get an educational psychologist to assess him and as a result gain a statement and allocated support from the LEA (not school) OR if things are slow simply pay for the Ed Psych assessment yourself. Move things along quicker as it can take years.

In your shoes I would send your son to school part time. Three days a week maybe? Or mornings only for however long you see fit.

Trouble is, most ASD units are not equipped (or willing to deal with) DS's high IQ (most appear to deal with an IQ of lower than 70)

We have a diagnosis and are working towards a statement.

I am hoping the school will accept P/T for this next year.

Yes agree don't think about academic worries as probably there will be a couple of extremely bright kids in the class. Just concentrate on social skills and having a positive start to school.

The thing is, if he needs a 1-1 then the school should provide that, even before his statement is in place.
I would not hold him back in nursery, it's clearly not going to work, especially with high IQ.

OK, I'm going to go a bit against the grain here.

Your DS is clearly very bright. Fantastic. What he needs is social skills. He needs to learn that even though we can unpick a lock, it's not a good idea to pick a lock. He needs to understand that, even though we may be exceptionally clever and indeed right, other people need to have a turn and may even be allowed to make their point of view. All these things DCs learn in school. There are many ASD parents on the SN boards who HE, I'm not saying it's wrong, but for high functioning children who need to have their social skills pushed, HE isn't always the right way forward.

I absolutely don't think your current school is right for your DS, I said that way up thread. That doesn't mean there isn't a school that is right for him, and I don't think you should be writing off all school-based education just because your 4 yo is intelligent. He needs to learn to use his IQ IMO.

And I'm not sure what you're basing your premise on about ASD schools and IQ, did you phone them all up and ask them?

Thankyou LisaD - I have now cancelled his place at nursery. (thanks to this thread). Trouble with school is they are already massively over capacity.