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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if an HV makes the comment...

189 replies

nickelbarapasaurus · 25/06/2012 11:32

"some of the answers you gave on the MH questionnaire make me a bit worried you might be prone to PND", that it might be worthy of a follow-up?

from someone ?

that was the comment my HV made (about 5 mins before she suggested that i should go to some of the Children's centre sessions, even though she knows i work 6 days a week, because she had to visit me in the shop Hmm ) when DD had her 12 week check.

she's now 6 months (28 weeks today) and i've not heard a peep from any HV since.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 25/06/2012 17:40

Hi Nickel

Sorry you are feeling so awful. Agree with the others - get thee to the GP.

Do you do internet sales at all?

Re the eczema - if her nappy area is OK I presume you have been through the rigmarole of changing washing powders etc.

Re the cream. DS1 was also made worse by Diprobase (nurse said "no one is ever allergic to this" when I expressed doubts before she put it on because it smelled like aqueous cream which makes him worse Angry)

The cream we found worked wonders is Oilatum Junior. Not Oilatum, it has to be the Junior. It moisturised him and he stayed moisturised, not like E45 which made his skin feel as if he had had nothing put on it at all after 5 minutes.

JustFabulous · 25/06/2012 17:40

Always happy to come and help for a couple of hours...

buttonmoon78 · 25/06/2012 17:48

Re the cream. DS1 was also made worse by Diprobase (nurse said "no one is ever allergic to this" when I expressed doubts before she put it on because it smelled like aqueous cream which makes him worse)

That'll be like the hypoallergenic formula that ds was on. Once he was taken off that and put onto wysoy his reflux was soooo much better!

I know - cutting dairy is daunting. It could be anything though. Egg?

If you're trying different washing powders it takes a long time to see a difference. Again, measure the trial in weeks not days.

I find it really difficult that whatever I do to try something difficult is a long term thing. I am not the most patient at the best of times!

buttonmoon78 · 25/06/2012 17:49

I meant hydrolysed not hypoallergenic. Apparently it's nigh on impossible to be react to hydrolysed formula.

Ha.

BalloonSlayer · 25/06/2012 17:53

I also saw a study into an anti-baldness cream which used aqueous cream as a control as "it never causes a reaction." I also thought: ha

(if DS1 was bald and had taken part in that study he'd have had a bright red pate!)

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 25/06/2012 17:53

yeah, we've done oilatum junior Grin

i felt a bit naughty when i had to admit tothe GP "we've tried everything"

oilatum jr, olive oil, diprobase, e45, johnson's baby moisturiser, nappy cream, lansinoh. (i'm convinced the lansinoh is the one)
and yes! that's what e45 feels like to us! except like we've just bathed her in gravel!

Fab - might have to drag you in for coffee/tea and storytime :)

not egg! what would i do with my hens?! (it's not egg, i don't eat egg often enough)
I'll make a food diary, i think.

OP posts:
Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 25/06/2012 17:54

i can't close with dd asleep.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 25/06/2012 18:03

Astral cream has got lanolin in it.

Am being a bit facetious here as Astral Cream seems to be the universal panacea to my mother. When I was 14 I went abroad with my Dad and she sent me with a jar of Astral cream for the sun. Hmm Needless to say I dutifully applied it, fried myself, then put it on my sunburn.

It's her answer to everything. Face cream dry skin, eczema, sore bottom. She even puts it on the cat. I reckon if my arm was ripped off in some industrial machinery she'd suggest I put a bit of Astral cream on it before calling the doctor.

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 25/06/2012 18:05

Bit of an out there suggestion, but have you tried a bees wax based moisturiser?

I have ultra sensitive dry skin. Not eczema.
I can not use any 'normal' moisturisers at all. E45 stings like crazy. Suncreams are a no no. Even sensitive specialist products.

The ONLY thing that my skin seems to tolerate and help when I have any type of skin problem is stuff based on bees wax. Seems to work on anything from sores to sunburn.

If you really have tried everything else, maybe its worth a shot...

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 25/06/2012 18:09

germolene is my panacea Grin
bit harsh for a baby though, i thought.

i just want the gp to prescribe lansinoh - it's very expensive to use it without prescription (it's lovely and thick like beeswax)

es, i'm still here.
dd woke up, so i put her down so i could close. you'd've thought i was trying to kill her from the cries! so now i'm back to feeding her.
i will get home tonight.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 25/06/2012 18:41

I think if you're going to have dd in the shop you need to get a playpen. As soon as she's really active and pulling up you'll have no stock left on the shelves.

3duracellbunnies · 25/06/2012 19:59

Do make time to go to the dr, ask to be tested for low thyroid and anaemia, both of which can also feel like depression. I had low thyoid after dd2. I was tierd, life felt really foggy, I went to GP as thought was depressed, but the did some tests and came back as low throid. I now take a replacement hormone and am fine. All of these things can happen after having a baby (5-6 months is classic for thyoid problems).

Can't really help on business ideas, but my children were all intollerant to dairy, and two of them to soy. I had to cut out all dairy and soy, and although it was v tough at first, the differences were remarkable. That kept me going. Also at this stage with weaning the bm will become less important. Sometimes if you put a little bit of butter on an unaffected patch of skin, it will become red and inflamed, which may indicate that it is the culprit. It doesn't always - it didn't with mine, but they had stomach rather than skin problems. You shouldn't try to eliminate dairy for long without some expert help. We saw someone @ Pembury who was good. Hope tomorrow is a happier day.

plutocrap · 25/06/2012 20:48

I second the other comments about eczema, with the additional comment that it's a symptom, not a syndrome, so any number of methods/products could cure/ease it, as any number of stimuli could have caused it.

What worked for DS was one bath a week (that got a bit problematic later, when the very sticky Epaderm and doublebase attracted filth - Shock) and, eventually, Aveeno. Oats in the bath is also quite nice, but gets a bit messy if your "teabag" (toe of old tights) breaks, and, of course, your DD may have problems with oats, as some seem to... Sad

We also cut dairy out of DS's diet for 6 months, and it's easier to try that with you as an adult than wait to try it on her as a post-weaned child, as non-dairy substitutes all seem to be so low in fat, whereas babies and small children need lots of fat in their diet. Quiches and other eggy dishes can be made with rice milk, there's a lot of chocolate substitute around (and you can make chocolate icing with just cocoa powder, icing sugar and water!), and there's even non-dairy ice cream. The only thing I did miss in the family diet, though, was cheese Sad.

plutocrap · 26/06/2012 09:46

Good morning. How are you feeling today? Smile

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 26/06/2012 11:12

oh, i'll definitely getting a play pen when she's more mobile! Grin

I do feel better today, thanks.
I've just got to try to breathe and relax myself when it all feels too much.
This morning, she was whingeing as usual, and I thought "you know what, I don't need to rush to get dressed, I'll just give her a cuddle" and i did and she calmed down :) and so did I.

I've also decided to do an experiment with the creams - we're now going to use lanolin on her right (left facing us) and e45 on her left (right facing us), and see what the difference is.
I know that the lanolin is okay for her, but I don't know what effect the e45 is having. this controlled experiment should make it clearer. then i'm not beating myself up by thinking I'm doing more harm than good.

I'm taking advantage of her still being asleep (it's a miracle!) to sort out the Find Wally Packs for participating businesses (it's a big thing for July - brainchild of the booksellers association and IBW, and hopefully it'll put a bit od trade down this end of the high street!)

OP posts:
Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 26/06/2012 14:18

coping strategies, you see. :)

another friend came in later on.
I hadn't finished doing the where's wally, but i thought "nah, it's okay, i can do the rest later" when DD woke up. she was a bit groggy and needed cuddling as you do, so I stopped doing what I was doing, put it all in a neat pile and cuddled/fed her. I felt much better doingthat.
then when my friend came in, she was happy to play with DD for the extra 10 mins (and she made me a cuppa too!) while I finished off the where's wally stuff.
(well, the bit I was doing at that time - it's an awful lot of photocopying! Shock )

:)

OP posts:
CuriosityCola · 26/06/2012 16:47

Hey nickel, come see us on just Mumming. We are doing updates.

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 26/06/2012 16:52

i need the link, Cola.
I was looking for it a few days ago, and couldn't find it.

(i am a bit dizzy though, so prob didn't look in the right places)

OP posts:
plutocrap · 26/06/2012 17:10

oh, i'll definitely getting a play pen when she's more mobile!

Errr, better get one now, rather than waiting! Development isn't incremental; it is exponential! DD shocked me the other day by doing proto-commando crawling, whereas her gross motor skills had always been behind those of DS (and hr didn't crawl till 9 months).

porcamiseria · 26/06/2012 17:14

HVs are very very underesourced, unfortunately.

Dont direct ire at her, go and see GP and good luck x

naturalbaby · 26/06/2012 17:37

We love you Nickel, we do! We love you nickel....we dooooooo!

I can empathise with so many things you say, I feel just like you do and I don't have a business to run or a job to go do! (I did have 3 under 3's though so feel v.overwhelmed at times).
I saw my Gp at the peak of feeling crappy, which coincidentally was just before DH was about to go away for business/work but we got a bit stuck because I was ebf, but she was lovely and helpful and I managed to do some things to get some time away to myself and have a good think about things.
Talking about it is brilliant therapy - MNing counts too!

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 26/06/2012 17:44

pluto - we haven't even got a cot or highchair yet!
at the moment, she's behind the till and can't get out of there without help.

i will, porc, i promise :)

natural aww, you sweetie Grin i did find mning yesterday really helped.
i have had a counsellor in the past, but it cost £35 a session and i really really can't afford that right now (especially having just discovered that the card machine contract i thought i'd cancelled is still taking the direct debit!)
i know i should have cancelled it my end! and i have now, so hopefully they'll actually get in touch.
two changes of supplier this year that have cost me more than they've saved (by quite a ginormous margin)

OP posts:
JustFabulous · 26/06/2012 17:46

And also, get her used to being in the playpen with toys, happily, as once she realises she can move.....

FabBoy's highchair and travel cat are available if you don't mind second hand.

Original poster
nickelbarapasaurus · 26/06/2012 17:58

ooh...
you might need to post me a picture.
does that mean you'll be forced to visit to deliver?

don't need travel cat - have 2 cats at home Wink
Grin

OP posts:
JustFabulous · 26/06/2012 18:28

this one in blue/yellow/white.

I would visit anytime you needed a hand/company.

Grin at cat. Clearly have FABCat on the brain. I also have a travel cot...