to think that if an HV makes the comment...

[nickelbarapasaurus]

"some of the answers you gave on the MH questionnaire make me a bit worried you might be prone to PND", that it might be worthy of a follow-up?

from someone ?

that was the comment my HV made (about 5 mins before she suggested that i should go to some of the Children's centre sessions, even though she knows i work 6 days a week, because she had to visit me in the shop ) when DD had her 12 week check.

she's now 6 months (28 weeks today) and i've not heard a peep from any HV since.

[HerMajestyQueenHillyzabethII]

Nickel. Most people either stay at home with their babies and don't work for the first six months or a year, or they do go to work full time and someone else cares for their baby on their behalf during working hours.

You are doing both. YOU ARE DOING BOTH! I know you are trying to prop up a business in a recession but you are not superwoman. Something will have to give for a while my darling. Make sure it is not you.

[SageYourOracle]

Nickel- I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

I haven't had time to read all the thread but people have given some great advice WRT how you are feeling.

I hope I've not got the wrong end of the stick: you have a book shop, right? I had a thought re potential business from schools in your area.. Maybe try contacting your local authority to see if you can get a contact name for the English/literacy consultant/adviser (if there still is one, if not then there may be a general primary consultant/adviser). He/she will likely hold meetings for all the local schools English/Literacy subject leaders. Maybe you could see if you could have a 5/10 minute slot & a stall at one of the meetings? Throw in a prize draw too where a school wins maybe 2 books but to enter the prize draw each teacher attending has to leave their contact details. I've had companies do this & it's generated a fair amount of business.

HTH

[princesssmartypantss]

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter, hope you've managed to book appointment with gp? I second what was said about you mabaging a job and fulltime childcare, everyone else only does one at a time. You sound like superwoman!

As for eczema, think if you are convinced you know what will work, go back to gp and ask again, ours seems to hate that i am a bit bossy, but i do get what we need. We saw an eczema nurse who suggested epaderm at least twice a day, but lots more if sin sore, ideally every two hours during the day when skin bad, hydrocortisone, and dermol bath emollient and lotion as soap substitute, i have been told that its better to bath daily as reduces chances of eczema getting infected, but this would be impossible for us without good bath emollient. I then saw doctor recently who updated this advice by suggesting we swap our hydrocortisone to eumovate ointment, which is thicker and more sticky, like lasinoh, and we use mostly epaderm ointment, again more sticky, which seems to be really helping. The doctor we saw had eczema, and said she finds creams drying, and prefers ointments herself!

Your bookshop sounds lovely, i have a lovely booksjop in our town who will order in books for next day, better service than amazon or play by a mile and lovely people too!

[nickelbarapasaurus]

Sage - that's a good idea, thank you. :)
the worst thing about the schools' business is that most of the ones I contacted have history with me (as in, they have a credit account/discounts) and they denied all knowledge!

we went shopping last night, to the saver centre. It was crap.
I wanted Boots, M&S and Mothercare. we didn't go till 7, so we couldn't go to bluewater (although I prefer lakeside).
the Boots is about the same size as the one here! and they don't have a Mothercare. and M&S is generally crap, but I got a couple of tops and a couple of feeding bras. but they turn the lights down at 10 to 8 and make an announcement that the store is closing. I was spending a lot (to me) of money(well, okay, giftcards, so really, they've already got that money!), so I ignored it (as best I could)
DH says he'll take me to Bluewater on sunday after church.

Musical Bumps this morning had about 5 ladies/babies trying out the baby session, and I felt sad because they all came together, and all their babies were the same age, so I assume they met at baby group, or clinic, or antenatal classes, and I don't know any mums who have babies of DD's age. and they didn't seem to be that interested in being friendly with me (they were nice but not welcoming iyswim)

I have been doing stuff whilst trying not to stress today again.
DD was a bit clingy (I'm trying not to say whiny or whinging) so I let her, and just tried to put her down bit by bit so that I could do my work. :)

[nickelbarapasaurus]

bread wouldn't make her itch, would it?
it'd be belly ache if she was reacting to it, wouldn't it?

[nickelbarapasaurus]

:(

we go to Busy Bees at church every 6 weeks - it runs every week, but DH's day off only falls on a monday 1 in 6 weeks, so that's all i can do.
i have met a couple of other mums through it, but i don't see them often enough (some of them have started to come to my storytimes :) ) to really make friends (plus, their kids are all toddlers rather than babies)

DD didn't sleep at all last night.
i blame myself because i allowed her to have proper naps in the day. she must have been exhausted because she doesn't normally sleep.
it meant i got work done, but it also meant no sleep.
it's dh's day off today, and i realised that at 3 o'clock this morning, so i woke him [evil]
he offered to take her out for a walk in the pram.
i went to sleep. thought i kept hearing noise downstairs, but was and asleep. i went downstairs at about half 4: saw dh on the settee and DD in the car seat "thought you were taking her out in the pram". "i did - twice! both times we came back and she woke straight up again, so i took her in the car and she's woken up as soon as we've arrived home." she was happily playing i the seat so he'd left her to it.

[plutocrap]

Don't worry about ignoring an awake baby, in order (for you and DH) to sleep yourself(ves); many of us have done this! DD was singing and shrieking for ages this morning, and, cute as that is, I was just not interested at all until the sounds turned distressed/ pissed off.

Also, when she was very tiny, I remember an occasion when I lay on the sofa with her and turned on CBeebies for DS, then just switched myself off - these breaks do happen!

[nickelbarapasaurus]

problem is, where I would happily ignore the awake baby, she scratches when she's fractious.
she is okay if she's occupied, most of the time if she's feeding, but if she's awake and doesn't want to be, she scratches.
the day her eczema was really bad, she managed to scratch her face and neck so badly it looked like she'd slipped on tarmac.

[plutocrap]

Oh, the nighttime scratching! That is horrible, and I know what that's like, as DS used to scratch his wrists until he bled. What helped us:

• medicine-wise: Fucibet, which is steroid cream with fusidic acid to deal with potential infection of the scratched bits.
  

• clothes-wise: there are specialist eczema clothes (which you may be able to find on eBay, though it's possible eczema tots are too hard on their clothes for them to be reworn... ), but also try Green Baby, whose sleep-gowns are the last (at the latest age) to give up integral scratch mitts. DS was wearing these to sleep till he was about 18 months old. They're normal vest-and-sleepsuit jersey, so won't add any extra heat
  

• diet-wise: unfotunately, skin-prick tests aren't very meaningful in infants - I think DS had his at around 2 - but this is definitely a good long-term thing to do. It turned out he had some sort of intolerance to milk. It wasn't an allergy - there was no anaphylactic reaction, and it was a subtle buildup sort of thing, so food exclusions were too short-term to reveal anything. We kept him off dairy for 6 months, and he no longer has the redness round his eyes and constant nagging itchiness.
  

That skin-prick test also included environmental allergens, and we came up with mould, dust-mites and cat hair. DS had his first summertime asthma-wheezes due to, we think, cat hair (first time) and dust mites (second time), so have a look at this for ideas on what you can blast!

[nickelbarapasaurus]

i would love to use the sleepsuits with the scratch mitts, but she's too hot!
she's too hot in a vest. (plus, she scratches at whatever skin is bare- so face, neck etc all up for grabs!) :(

i hope it doesn't come down to allergies/intolerances. i know i had eczema as a baby, but not how bad, i haven't got any food problems. dh was asthmatic, though, and i know that combination can throw up problems.

[nickelbarapasaurus]

cats :(
i hope not.

[plutocrap]

Even if she's too hot now, this weather cannot last forever!

[nickelbarapasaurus]

i'm hoping.
and by next year, she'll be more in control of herself not to scratch so much.

[princesssmartypantss]

Not sure if she would keep them on, but have you tried scratch mits, m&s do bigger than newborn, think 3-6 months and 6-12, we have 6-12 which ae big enough for a big 11 month baby and will be ok for a while, i pop cream on his hands and then leave gloves for as long as possible, he sucks his thumb so not always very long at night as we all need to sleep!
We also were prescribed some comfifast easy wrap mittens, these have little thumb holes and go up to thier elbows, think you can use them for wet wrapping too. I know with cuts etc there may not be them locally, but you could ask hv or gp (realise absent hv is reason for initial post, so maybe gp better) to refer you to childrens community nurse or eczema nurse for help with managing eczema, we have some great nurses locally, who have helped us lots with ds's eczema, and they come to us at home (probably to check if i am vaccuming)!

[PeahenTailFeathers]

Wow, Nickel - no wonder you feel so stressed! Is there any way at all you can take some time off, or could anyone help you with your baby? Have another random from a stranger and I hope that you are feeling better.

[nickelbarapasaurus]

she won't keep scratchmitts on - whenever i've tried, she's pushed them off when she rubs her wrists against her belly/the bed/anywhere that has grip.

last night, she was unsettled again.
after about an hour of trying to calm her/hold her arms so she couldn't scratch (which just meant she'd rub her skin against the bed!), i took her out of the room for a walk. she stopped crying, so i put on the bathroom light. her vest was covered in blood (all down the front near the neck). :(
so i pulled it off, found a babygrow with the mitts in the cuff, slathered lanolin on her neck, and gave her a dose of calpol.
when we got back to bed, she slept for a couple of hours.
feel a bit guilty drugging her, but she was obviously so uncomfortable. :(
(and was amazed that she slept with the full babygrow on!)

Peahen - thank you :) DH is doing all he can in the afternoon/evenings, so I can't think of anything else that can be done!
funnily enough, the other day, DD was being fractious, but not too bad, just fidgetty. I'd just fed her, but we needed food and there was washing up to be done. DH said "i'll go and finish the washing up", but I'd just decided to hand DD to him, so I said "oh, no you don't! you have DD, and I'll wash the pots!"
I think that was the best plan, because I got to do something useful but away from her, like a change of scenery. especially cos most of the time, I'm tied to her, and DH does all the other stuff. If she's not feeding, she doesn't need me

[nickelbarapasaurus]

feeling better today, because of the sleep I had last night :)

[PeahenTailFeathers]

Glad that you are feeling better . Oh dear, it's come to something when washing pots counts as a rest .

It's a non-stop slog looking after a baby, when you stop to think about it, wonderful though that slog is. And to work full time as well as being a full time mum - I don't now how you do it. I went back to work for 2 days a week a couple of weeks ago when my baby was 4 weeks old (bad mother emoticon) but I have someone to look after her for me so I find being in the office a refreshing, battery-recharging change. If I had to look after my baby as well as trying to work ... I just couldn't!

[nickelbarapasaurus]

well, it was either that or go mad because she was whingeing.
He desperately wanted them finished, so I forced him to take her while I did the pots!

she slept better again last night - i put her in a full babygrow and folded the mittends over from the start.
i do worry about her being too hot, though.

[plutocrap]

Glad you still have some mitt-ended clothes; I hadn't been able to find any, which was why I suggested the Green Baby ones.

I'm sort of laughing with sympathy about the pot-cleaning: that is such such an authentic new-parent (- mother and -father) post!

Nice to hear you sounding more cheerful.

[Valpollicella]

Nickle I am SO sorry to hear what a shitty time you have been having...

I will be back on this thread tmrw as I have to sleep now but just wanted to offer one quick bit of advice and that wiuld be to avoid lanolin products on her skin - Ive heard lots about how they arent great for certain ecxema like conditions.
will post more in the am.
I hope you get some rest tonight x

[JustFabulous]

Oh yes, I remember that! DH would come home and take baby to bath him so that I could cook tea! That was a break from baby stuff.

[droppedscones]

You sound like you're doing ok bearing in mind everything that's going on to me. My son had eczema and when he was miserable I was totally miserable alongside him without the business you're trying to deal with alongside it. Have you been offered steroid cream to get it under control and a new moisturiser to try as the one you have doesn't seem to be working? Also had antihistime (sp?) to stop the itching when it was bad so he could sleep. Unguentum is a good thick moisturiser which seems to work for us and is paraffin based. I'm sure I've read somewhere that aqueous is often wrongly prescribed as a moisturiser and is best used in replacement of soap to be washed off in an oily bath and followed up with another moisturiser, but I'm sure someone may know better on that score than me. Also you've found out what's best re baths for yourself and turns out to be what's actually recommended- once or twice a week! Moisturisers just need to be tried and changed until you've found one that works for you. e45, diprobase and epiderm just seemed to irritate my sons skin and I don't think there's a one size fits all unfortunately. I know people who swear by aveeno but I might aswell have given my son a rub down with a loofah. Same for purepotions skinsalvation which I loved the idea of and was upset when it didn't work. Anyway, I hope this isn't too obvious and if so I'll just crack open the eggs and pass you a straw.
Re your op, I've met 1 hv in 4 I thought was good and she left shortly after for Australia. In my experience they swan in, offer opinions, and swan off into the distance with speed adjusted according to the unhelpfulness/shiteness of the comment.

[nickelbarapasaurus]

Val :) it works on her skin, though- i suppose it's like a barrier cream.

I've started to put germolene on the ripped skin - she drives me nutty with all the constant scratching! blood everywhere
she's alright most of the time now. the germolene stops her scratching.
and we've had 3 good nights' sleep in a row

and she scratches when she's tired.

I think the worst of the bout she's had has gone now, because most of her skin looks okay. It's just the bit under her neck and behind the knees now (she can't scratch behind her knees when she's dressed, so it's mainly the neck that she rips to shreds [sigh]

thanks droppedscones - your experiences are good to know - it's just what the doctor said. most people hae goen "suchandsuch worked on my DS/DD etc" when it's been the thing that's most irritated DD!
you're right about aqueous - best used as a soap.