To be annoyed at not being invited, and even more annoyed at dp for not getting why I'm annoyed!!

[03angels]

Ok so here's the story, last saturday dp's sister invited all the 'girls' in family round whilst the men were playing poker. Dp's mum asked of I was going but as I didn't have an invited of dp's sister I didn't want to show up( she's never invited us round, and If we just 'pop' over she keeps us at the door
Anyways, Iv been with dp 10 yrs and last week dp's sis's 'wife' had a dig about me not being family as we weren't married, even though we have kids together
:(
Aibu to be upset, and then pissed off about this?? I was even more annoyed as dp couldn't see why I was upset?! This has lead to all sorts of arguments and now a week on we're still not really speaking, he's annoyed that I'm
Annoyed at him and I'm annoyed he can't see why I'm upset and why he didn't say anything to her!

Sorry for the rant

Please ignore the spelling mistakes, looks like I'm trying to take my anger out on the keys

"dp's sis's 'wife' had a dig about me not being family as we weren't married, even though we have kids together"

So, how are his sister and her 'wife' married?

Why have you put wife in brackets when talking about your sil wife?
So do they think you aren't family unless you have a ring on your finger?
I'd have told her to do one tbh,do you get on normally?

I'm lost with the sisters wife.

They had a civil ceremony last yr, so are married.
We generally get on but sil's wife is very opinionated and we have had a few run ins in past!
The irony of it is dps cousin is engaged to his step brother but is introduced to other people as sil rather than cousin it's all very confusing, wen more so now they have a child

Just go out with your friends for crying out loud. Or play poker.

Are the sister and wife in a civil partnership? If not then she can't really have a go at you for not being part of the family.

Actually that came out wrong - she obviously can't have a go at you anyway. I just wondered why she thought that she was family and you were not!

Loopy, you can have civil ceremonies now, you know! Don't you remember seeing David Cameron and Nick Clegg in the rose garden?

Lol dps sister is gay and 'married' her wife last yr. I say 'married' as it is technically a civil ceremony - and before anyone gives me grief for bein homophobic I am
Far from it as my 16 ye old dd is gay sil txts all the time for stupid things so I feel like a quick txt to say having girls round if you fancy it, as I have done when Iv had girlie nights in!
I'm pissed off at dp as if it had of been other way round I would have asked where his invite was.

My ex's family were a bit like this, in that they didn't feel they had to issue invitations to family members - they just expected them to show up at any gatherings.

If that's the case with your in-laws, I think the fact that your DP's mum asked if you were going was the invitation iyswim.

Ignore SIL's wife - if you're not family then neither is she.

YANBU to be upset - it took me a long time to get used to this sort of unofficial non-inviting as my family are quite formal and correct when it comes to invitations.

It's not married though, sadly.

In any even, this all sounds grim.

t*

OP, if she really wanted you to be there, she would have invited you.

Loopy the pokers a sore subject as its boys only - BUT sil has played as she's 'one of the boys' but her wife went along too.

Is SIL a lesbian? You're annoyed because she doesn't think you are a family because you aren't married but have 3 children. Is she religious (and left wing?)?

I couldn't be arsed TBH; her loss if she doesn't want to see much of you and your family.

Do you think your lack of an invite has anything to do with you run ins with SIL Wife?

five there was invites by txts, and mil asked me but I wasn't going to go somewhere I wasn't wanted
ali I agree with you - sadly sil's wife is boss in their house and I genuinely think it's because she doesn't see me as family

Is this a bleak humour sitcom plan?

YANBU on either count. I would book yourself a nice girls night in, forget to invite either of them and kick him out for night too. Go and get your guest list written with a glass of vino

Well, my only wonder is that you wanted to go at all. They sound horrible.

Loopy what do you mean she's not. They're married

'Sils wife'

Sorry but is there butch masculine and feminine in that relationship - "throws hands up in horror" on MN that the word 'wife' is still allowed. let alone on a single sex relationship that one is a 'the wife'

No, unfortunately, people who are in civil partnerships cannot call themselves married Well, they can, but it is incorrect.

I would like to see this change.

loopy I wish it was :/
Thanks ladies, I probably wouldn't have went in anycase, but i just wanted to confirm I was NBU to be upset and pisses off to not be seen as part of his family.