to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

I would move your DS. If he is saying himself that he wants to change schools then perhaps he is not happy there. However, be prepared that the grass may not be greener on the other side of the fence so you have the dilemma of moving him and then finding out there are just as many varied problems at another school.

'You work in recruitment - explains a lot' and 'tbh school is the least of his worries' - what a pair of sneering arseholes.

Yes you may disagree fundamentally with what the op is on about but there is no need to rip the woman to shreds.

YANBU if he's unhappy move him;don't hang about. But as,ophelia says, IME a lot of expensive schools in very 'nice' areas have problems too;DS went to one where he learned about illegal drug taking and was chucked out (even though the older boys who got him into it were not removed). Saved us a lot of money though

Oh pop your jugular back in getorf I also work in recruitment. It explains why OP is also sneery of those who wear PJs, I often offer people jobs only to have them turn them down for all sorts of turd reasons so maybe thats why OP thinks the way she does about people who are the great unwashed unemployed pj wearers, hence my "explains a lot" comment.

The difference with me is when I see people in PJs, I also see my SIL who is battling severe depression and self harming, and sometimes is lucky to get herself out of bed in the morning, on a good day she might be able to throw a pair of jeans on.

HTH

"what a pair of sneering arseholes."

Hi,

Ok, (back tracks) I shouldn't have put PJ in the title or made it my first point.

My important bits are:

1. He's safe
2. He's happy
3. He's well educated
4. He reaches his full potential

5. He doesn't have to look at lazy bastards (working or not) in shed skin laden pjs

Sparks1, you've gone from PJ wearing to dirty bedding. Unbelievable!

As for posh schools. Yes, go let your son learn to eat liver and suck cock, because that's what most of the men I know from public school do. My ex husband inclouded.

ooops, inclouded=included.

My view on public school is clouded by the public school boys I know.

I hate people going to school in ph bottoms. Why? Do you have no self respect to wash and dress yourself in the morning?

Looks bloody awful and I always judge

wow, what a nasty, homophobic post Damsel!

damsel please there is no need.

Don't read the thread. Just judge.

Sparks1, you've gone from PJ wearing to dirty bedding. Unbelievable!

The two are very separate...

That's not a homophobic comment. I have a gay son btw. It's what I see to be true!

I know 2 posh school kids. One is now doing bird for dealing, the other is actually alright but when I first met her and told her where I lived she actually said "you're normal though?!"

Having a gay son does not mean you cannot make a homophobic comment, it just makes me feel sorry for your son! I did read the thread, the whole thing and as I posted earlier completely agree with the OP.

I was simply generalising about public schools the same way the OP has generalised and belittled PJ wearing mums on the school run. Oh but get up in arms about it now?!

Well bloody norah hairylemon why didn't you say that in your original post. I thought you were just saying that people who work in recruitment were thick twats (often said on Mumsnet)

Ha getord I was on my shitphone in satans arsehole a soft play area of all places at the time of posting, I realise now my post was a little ambiguous!

I don't understand why the worries about discipline and teaching abilities of the staff come further down your list of priorities than what other parents do.

Poor kids can be clever too. I don't really fuss myself over what other people wear or where they wear it. I'd not really be comfortable in jammas in the street myself, but I'm sure other people look at my denims and trainers and slobby t-shirts and think "Cripes, she's let herself go!"

YANBU to want the best for your son. YABU to expect everyone to subscribe to your own standards, and you're being a bit judgemental as well.

Not got much to add except that I changed primary school in Year 4 and can barely remember a thing of what the previous one was like so am sure your sun will be fine

damsel

The alternative school is not a public school. Its simply in another area of town with higher standards.

The comment about lettting my primary age son learn to suck cock as you so beautifully put it, hardly compares to a pj/behaviour discussion.

*SON -agh!

Look, you don't know those people you have judged. And remember, it's easy to slip into poverty. God forbid it should ever happen to you and you be judged as harshly as the people you are judging. You don't know why those women are in their pjs. You have made your assumption, and goddamnit, you are sticking with that. Well do so, by all means. But don't be surprised when life tramples you when you are down because you really are unkind.

OP, you have made the mistake of being honest on MN, no wonder it has gone badly. Of course you can have fourth generation families where no-one has worked for decades. I was brought up in an area in which many of the families were on benefits as were their parents, and that was 40 years ago! Not much has changed, and many families have fitted in another couple of generations at least. Some people are in denial about just how pervasive unemployment and the benefits culture is in some parts of society in the UK.

This would not be a problem if everyone were motivated and had high aspirations, but of course they don't. And there are higher levels of violence/police presence/drug use, not to say it can't happen elsewhere, but it spills out near the school. I moved my dd out of her primary school in such an area when I got a letter asking parents not to bring ongoing personal feuds onto the premises as two parents had been physically fighting the week before in the school grounds! The language is always bad and no amount of getting tough solves that.

The pluses of having a child go to a school like this (which has almost no social mix, just wall to wall disadvantage) is they tend to be really well-funded and have brilliant dedicated teachers who are still hopeful they can turn things around for the next generation. Plus there are always some nice families and nice children in there too.

However, OP, it doesn't sound like your school is one of these, in which case I would move your son. But don't tell anyone the real reasons, even though I highly doubt they would send their own children into the midst of pervasive generational social deprivation unless they had to.