to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

First day on Mumsnet, several comments deleted. Go me!

Including the one where I expressed concern for someone else's wellbeing.

Oh.

I'm not sure I like it here. Because when someone posts they're losing the will to live, whilst being really snarky, sometimes they're being sarcastic. But sometimes it's a cry for help. I just wanted to make sure.

FTR, I was a kid on benefits. I went to a really rubbish school. The parents there didn't turn up in pjs, because that wasn't the done thing in those days. But I'm pretty certain some parents did the 80s/90s equivalent of "The Bad Parent".

I've already answered the OPs question. BUT if you think that poor people are going to "infect" your child with the will to fail, they aren't. If you think unemployed people are feckless and lazy, they aren't. If you think "unemployed" means lower class, you are very wrong (especially in today's climate).

If you wear pyjamas to take your kids to school, you might need to rethink your morning routine. Or sleep in your clothes (And personally, I favour the latter...)

Im feed up of posting stuff if it just goes poof all the fucking time.

Rant over

PS congrats and welcome to deletenet Mumsnet xx

YANbu parents need to teach children standards.

Find a new school.

I've not read the whole thread.

I can't bear parents dropping DCs off to school in PJs. It's not a 'poor' thing. It's a basic standards thing and it's horrible.

FWIW, DS1 attends a school in the 'poorest' area of our borough and our borough is one of the poorest in the city. It's a big, three form entry school and it has a very, very small number of parents who don't get dressed to take their DCs to school. Some of his friends' families face massive challenges - their parents manage to come to school fully dressed whatever they're about to do that day.

Ignore the accusations of snobbery. If you don't like what's going on in the wider picture, change.

OP I believe the 4th or 5th generation statement and I can't believe that many posters found it apt to pick you up on that (not read whole thread so don't know if this has been addressed or not).

Posters need to do more calculations to realise that you're absolutely right. And I see Great-Grandmothers every day on the school run picking up their charges, then returning home to care for their own parents. It's not uncommon at all.

FWIW, I'd move him. For ALL the reasons that you mentioned. We spend an enormous amount of time in the school environment and trends that are reinforced day after day can become 'normal' in many people's minds. You're right to be concerned about the PJ's - it's symbolises people's values and to me, it doesn't send a great message. If that makes me a snob, so be it.

Change schools. You know it's you're only option.

your only option

sorry, but my troll radar is itching

I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YANBU - you are being a great parent. I attended a school like you describe, and it was hell. I would come home swearing and my parents were but they sent me there, and could easily have moved me to one of several nicer schools.

Get him out !!!

And there were generations of unemployed that lived in our street, and I am 40 now and have friends who still live in the area who tell me that SHOCK HORROR they now have children and grandchildren who are also unemployed .

Get your heads from up your MN arses !! There are trashy people that exist in our society, who breed trashy kids - fact !

Hahaha at only the 'trashy kids' swearing

I always remember sat at lunch and the girl next next to me took a bite of her sandwich and pulled a face. I asked her whats up ? She said "look, she's done it again" There was fag ash in her sandwiches, her Mum used to make their packed lunch with a fag hanging out of her mouth NICE !

I would move him asap.

Theres some right twats on MN just lately, wonder where they all came from

It wasn't just swearing usualsuspect you didn't have to live through it.

Poor you

usualsuspect what was your primary school like ?

My children went to the local school on a council estate

Sorry if you had to mix with them

but what was yours like ?

I was dragged up on a council estate and it was shit !

my kids don't mix with kids off council estates, i don't let them. I appealed to get my kid far away from the local council estate fed school.

I couldn't give a shite if its viewed as snobby, as long as they have to go through what I went through.

Troll off

I work really hard to rent a house on a private country estate so that my kids can play out in fields that are on the doorstep.