to move my child to another school because of PJ wearing parents and other things.....

[fiftieslover]

Hi there, your views would be appreciated.

My ds is currently in yr 3 (8 yrs old) he is in a mixed class of years 3 and 4. Since Christmas I have had really serious doubts about the school he is in.

He has asked to move schools a couple of times in the past 6 months and I am seriously considering it. BUT I know at 8 this is a massive change for him. He is a social little boy who makes friends easily and can articulate his thoughts really well. The issues I have with the school are as follows.

1. Parents dropping their children off still wearing their PJs. I not talking lounge wear here, I'm talking fullish sheep adorned pink things. I turn up at school dressed for work, smart and ready for the day.

1. Leading on from 1 is the reason for the PJ wearing. There is a very high number of unemployed parents in the school. I live in a nice part of not a very nice area IYKWIM. Unemployment has always been a problem. I have lived in this area for over 30 years and alot of the children in ds class are 4th and 5th generation unemployed. So I assume the pj wearing is because they have nothing to get ready for? I need to add that sometimes the children are picked up from school at 3pm with said parents still adorning the sheep attire.

I have never been unemployed so struggle to empathise really with the other parents. I work in recruitment and know there are always things you can do to improve your chances but I have never been there so know I dont fully understand the effect unemployment has on you.

1. There are ALOT of kids in the class that are morphing into absolute horrors. The behaviour is getting worse as each school year passes. Once lovely little 4 year olds are now 8 year old swearing, disrespectful kids. My ds went over to one of them the other day to show him his homework. The other kid looked at my ds as if he were stupid and said I dont do homework - I wouldnt dare!.

1. I'm aware this is getting long so going to cut it short. The teachers appear to spend alot of time on discipline - taking actual teaching time away from the good kids.

1. In the past out of 26 kids, there are approximately 8 that behave really well. If the other 18 are playing up, the whole class has been punished. This really annoyed me.

I could go on and I think I have answered my own question seeing it in black and white but would still appreciate your comments.

Thanks fifties x

All my point is that there are some areas of cities that are out of control and it isn't about being snobby.

The latest game in my area was for the lads to have a competition of how many wing moirrors they could kick of cars in a night. Anyone who phones the police gets persecuted out of their home. We have boarded up 3 bed with garden properties for £65 a week because no one will rent in my area.

All the the beautiful bungalows stand empty because anyone disabled is fair game. The local supported living accomodation has security guards on it. The residents dare not go out, one man was pushed of his mobility scooter and it was stolen.

birds what all of them? Every single one apart from that one family?

I.Dont.Believe.You.

And they all have massive tvs and they all smoke dope?

All of them?

And they all laugh and laugh at working people?

All of them?

You know its not true and you do yourself no favours by perpetuating the myth.

I live in close, about half the people in it are unemployed, out of those 10 families about 2 of them are the sort of people I dont want to know.

The rest are normal, just like you and me. They may have different beliefs and priorities and some of them have big tvs and I am pretty sure some of them smoke dope.

But anyone who says that everyone fits a DM sterotype is not being strictly truthful.

So there are problems with policing in your area is what you are saying.

And you're right, it isn't about being snobby. BUT it isn't about being poor either.

What actually happens (says the girl who grew up on a Glasgow council estate) is that people assume you are going to be a certain way because of where you live, or because you are on benefits. And unless you are a very VERY determined person, or you show exceptional abilities at school, you eventually come to the conclusion that if you are going to be tarred with a certain brush, then you might as well get the fun of being bad in the process.

We've started from the point of discussing people being in PJs at the school gates, and now you've resorted to bringing in people on benefits who are lazy, and wild west-style lawlessness. Personally, I don't think the two things are necessarily linked. That's not naive, that's called understanding social problems.

It is true, those that were trying their best under tough circumstances, on HB have moved because they can. I said in my street, not my city.

We have people move in my street and move out again within months. I have to park my car at my mums and walk to pick it up.

This isn't about unemployment, but scumbag behaviour. Two residents were not unemployed, they were doormen.

One was shot dead and the other (not connected) is in prison for manslaughter.

There is a denial across MN that scumbag people exsist and they congregate in areas, driving everyone else out.

The OP talked about the behaviour of the children. I can understand her not wanting her son to be around certain behaviour and attitudes.

I wouldn't deny they exist. But I do wonder why their existence always comes to the fore wherever there is a discussion about people claiming benefits, or people who live in certain areas, or who fit certain criteria.

I'll bet I could find as many examples of anti-social behaviour amongst the middle classes who live around me. But somehow, because they are "respectable" its different for them. The sneering "oh how awful" attitude only seems to apply to those from the "lower" end of the social spectrum. The reality is you get scumbags in all walks of life.

Of course they exist.
But living near them doesnt make you one of them.
There is a real denial on MN about that

The PJ comment was ahem unfortunate (and I think the OP has already accepted that). The judging that is happening both ways (snob vs 'keeping it real) is totally unhelpful and serves no purpose. Of course none of us are like a Daily Mail persona, rich or poor or, the category most of us fit in, just doing the best we can.

However, the link between deprivation and low educational outcomes is based in fact. The area the OP describes sounds like a deprived area.

There is plenty of research out there that clearly shows that. Even the brightest kids can get held back by poor circumstances and poor education. Some don't but statistics tell us that most do. Thems the facts. To want your child to do the best they can is natural.

I didn't know that benefit claiments had been mentioned, i don't connect the two. I have lived on IS and carers benefits.

Life is hard in my area and is made impossible by the behaviour of some.

If you get your car vandalised and you have the money for a taxi for work, little harm done, but the people who suffer the most are usually the people who have more genuine problems than those committing anti social behaviour.

It is difficult to keep your children on the straight and narrow. i can understand anyone making choices to do that. I want to give my DD's the best chance possible.

Sorry but I along with 12 other families locally will be driving our children past the door of 1 school v like op described to another school 10 mins away. It's not the pjs but the language from parents who think fuck is an acceptable noun verb and adjective to use in front of and to their children ! Most importantly though 1 school has 90 % who transfer to grammar school while the other has 10% it's a pretty simple choice ! (northern irish system)

Well, exactly Midgetm. That's what we've been saying. To counter the myth that you can tell exactly what sort of a parent someone is just by looking at their playground attire, or based on a snapshot of the children's behaviour at a certain point in their development.

I'd confuse the hell out of the OP. I sleep in jogging bottoms and t-shirts, so you'd never know if I turned up in my "pyjamas"! :)

"But living near them doesnt make you one of them"

I live amongst 'them', i know that. The one other neighbour that doesn't cause any problems is a Nurse, she has been given the house, even though she has no children under a new scheme to mix the neighbourhood up.

The bungalows were featured in a localpaper, as we are close to Norris Green and it was feared that we were going the same way.

I would not hesitate to move him,OP.

what wrong with fuck?

fuck all i say

i didn't wear my PJs, i sent my kids off to school ont heir own.

I have never, ever seen anyone out and about in the their pjamas.

I don't live in a posh area, quite the opposite in fact.
If I moved somewhere posh would I be more likely to see a mum in pjs?
I feel like I'm missing out on something.

I wouldn't deny they exist. But I do wonder why their existence always comes to the fore wherever there is a discussion about people claiming benefits, or people who live in certain areas, or who fit certain criteria.

Because the two are inextricable linked. You may not like that, but it doesn't make it any less true.

I think some of you could do with reading the book Chav by Owen Jones. Then maybe you'd have a clue about the demonisation of the lower class.

Well done OP. Looks like you've bought into and brought at the rest who have the same mindset of bullshit hook line and sinker.

I live on a council estate, shall I leave MN so you don't have to mix with the likes of me?

Here's a review on the book I mentioned.

www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/08/chavs-demonization-owen-jones-review

*I think some of you could do with reading the book Chav by Owen Jones. Then maybe you'd have a clue about the demonisation of the lower class.

Well done OP. Looks like you've bought into and brought at the rest who have the same mindset of bullshit hook line and sinker.*

Oh please. Demonisation?

The best supported demonised people in the world if that's the case. Not that i'm sure who this lower class are...

Do it. Felt quite sad when I read that your little boy keeps himself to himself at break to keep away from the boys who are trouble.
I felt we never fitted in to the old school.. I didn't feel right. Won't go into details, but we moved our daughter to another school across town at the end of Year One. OMG, the best best BEST thing we ever did. No regrets, nearly one year on.
Do it OP.

There's nothing wrong about wanting the best for your child. If that means some people think and call you a snob... So be it!

I have never seen people out and about in pj and i feel like im missing out :(

Sparks are they?

Have you look at what support is out there for British born boys between the age of 17 and 24?

Unless they have a drink or drugs problem there is no assistance at all.

Here's a review on the book I mentioned.

Written by a 20 something trade union lobbyist, labour supporting parliamentary stooge.

Credibility, zero. Agenda,massive.