to refuse to explain for the upteenth time that we homeschool and that is why we are sometimes out and about during the day?

[kitsonkittykat]

I have already explained many times that we homeschool, and that is why we are able to pop out at lunchtime, and that we do not have "many days off", and they do "go to school". Am I unreasonable to refuse to explain myself over and over again to the same people?

Actually don't bother. No point flogging a dead horse is there? I can't be bothered to argue about this all night.

Gosh there is some rudeness on this thread. Pendeen you are being incredibly patronising and needlessly rude which is undermining any valid points you might be making. I have no idea because I don't wish to read any more of your posts that are obviously upsetting people.

Back to the OP... I don't know any home edders but I would assume you have valid reasons and work had to deliver the best education for your child unless there was evidence to the contrary. Statistically I would expect there will be some dreadful people claiming to home ed, the same way I know dreadful schooling and awful teachers exist, but my default assumption would be that all educators are trying to do the best job possible.

If some people are too stupid to understand despite repeated explanations I just wouldn't bother giving one. Smiling sweetly or raising an eye brow and staying silent would probably work very well.

Taggart

That's it.

DC PENDEEN

Was it Penhaligon?

Looks like Pendeen's had the thesaurus out again

I have to say, thanks to the power of MN, I no longer see children it and think 'ooh, they're skiving', but 'ooh, I wonder if they HE'.

People's huge mistake is thinking that you have to explain and justify to others-you really don't. It is generally a pointless exercise because their mind is made up before they start the questioning- and trying to explain or justify gives them a way into argue about something that is nothing to do with them anyway. If you just say 'it suits us at the moment', and change the subject, it gives them no way in. Repeat as necessary. It works with anything to do with bringing up children.

Sorry-you will of course have to justify to your DC. One of the reasons that I wouldn't do it-unless they were unhappy at school and had asked. Your DCs judge you when older.

I would never expect anyone to have to justify to me that they HE. I only now one person who tried it and it didn't work. It doesn't mean that it won't work for others. It isn't for me though because DD is an only child and needs other children around, and there isn't the opportunity where I live to meets lots of other children except through school. She isn't the type to be happy to entertain herself. At weekends she always wants someone else to play with. Going to school supplies her with a ready pool of other children to interact with and she has made some lovely friends.

She goes to Guides, but all the girls tend to stick with the girls they know from school.

I lack the patience, skills and inclination to teach, plus I think DD would hate to be with me 24/7 - we both need time away from each other, and I wouldn't be able to work.

There you go, I am justifying why I don't HE.

Some children are "school shaped" - DD being one of them, and some aren't and benefit from being HE. It isn't a one size fits all.

I am incredibly impressed by all you home edders on this thread! You do such amazing things with your children and it is obvious that they are all receiving excellent educations. (I also like the fact that you can work in useful practical things such as "making a banging cup of tea").

My children are too little at the moment for any of this stuff so I don't know if they are "school-shaped" or not, but I hope that if they are not, I will have the bravery and sheer commitment you have to be able to homeschool them as well as you have, rather than taking the risk of bunging them in a school which does not suit them or educate them as well.

Good on you.

I was not boasting - though thanks if you think I was, as that suggests Im doing something right - I was just defending myself Applauds OP - brilliant response

I work in education, in a special school, and yet know damn well I wouldn't have the patience to homeschool DS.

As I work special ed I also see the benefits of a tailored and varied curriculum. Our physical education is often community based as well as structured sessions. We go to the local woods for a walk and a play in the park.

There is a group of 'homeschoolers' who meet there weekly on the same day we go. The children are usually playing a group game (rounders/ cricket/football) and I have never heard any arguments. They also seem to have a period where they sit and read, they have lunch and use the park.

One time one of our lads with autism railroaded their sandcastles they were building in the sandpit. Not one of the home schooled pupils wailed, whinged etc but were poilte, understanding, offered this lad a bucket. Also this group are one of a few groups of people who haven't shoved off on our arrival.

OK, so you cannot generalise from this information but............ it seems to me that people who homeschool are raising children who can fit in and tolerate a society, children that see a society beyond the conformity of school, they do not segregate themselves and in fact my local surestart centre has many days where homeschooled children and their parents can meet.

It may not be something I could do, or wish to do, but I have certainly never seen any evidence that says it's detremental to children.

Exotic, but why would we have to justify it to our DCs? They're still receiving an education, they still get to socialise, to play with other kids, to have freedom to be away from their parents. What, apart from the rxperience of sitting in a classroom, are they missing out on that we'd have to justify? I don't recall ever expecting my parents to justify sending me to the schools at which bullies made my life hell from the age of 5 until I was 16, even though I've subsequently found out that my mum would have liked to HE but lacked the confidence to do so. I have yet to meet a parent who HEs who has taken the decision lightly, and doesn't take their responsibilities extremely seriously.

Experience, obviously. Damn phone. Thanks Lisianthus, by the way.
I was very surprised when I took mine to the doctor the other week, to receive, instead of the normal 20 questions along the 'but they must never see any other kids' line, a 10 minute lecture from the nurse practitioner on why I was doing exactly the right thing. Very unexpected!

Akaemmafrost, thank you SO much for your post. Yes, the constant questioning, irrational judgments and foundationless beliefs that you are wrecking your children's lives would make anyone defensive. You also sound like you are doing a fabulous job with your ds.
Thank you too to those who said such nice things. I didn't want to disappear and not thank people for their kind words.

I had a little look around the Primary Education topics. From even a cursory read it is more than clear that there are often issues with the quality of schooling, with children of year 5 and year 6 being basically unable to read, with bullying and cliquey behaviours. I would say the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so to speak, and my dc are both reading absolutely fluently. When I took my dd out of school her handwriting was dreadful, her reading very patchy, and her maths atrocious. She had been ignored and neglected. It was not my child that did not have the ability to learn. That was proven when she started to read fluently within two weeks of being homeschooled. It was not that she was not able to write beautifully, because within a few weeks with me her handwriting improved beyond recognition. It was not that she was not able to spell, as within a month or so that too had improved dramatically. My daughter thrived at home, and wilted at school. I am not giving them my reading, writing, polite son, since he enjoys being homeschooled, and as long as he is thriving and happy, I know Im doing the right thing.

The only thing I will have to explain to her is why I persevered with the school system at all, why I did not homeschool earlier.

As for ruining their future...and go ahead flame me for boasting - my daughter, at this rate will be doing O'levels/GCSEs by the time she is 11 or so, and right now has been able to get a solid 65 percent in GCSE practice math papers. Her future is being secured by being homeschooled. She will have full access to formal qualifications and to university admission, since she is clearly academic, and even at this young age, it is her dream to be a scientist of some sort. I am ruining no one's life. However in the short, and possibly the long term, school was absolutely ruining her quality of life and mine too.

As for making friends. Well right now their friends are many and varied. They are not lonely in the slightest. They do not judge others by how they look, or if they have a medical condition, as my daughter was judged in school. They are polite, appropriate in their behaviour as you would expect for their abilities and ages, and most of all, fun.

As for irritating people out the house, I am going to stay polite and explain as many times as it is needed. Reading some of the replies reminded me how inflexible some people are, and how unable to process anything other than the absolute societal norm. I spend my time with so many open-minded, questioning, wonderful people, I do forget that not everyone is like that.

I want more from Pendeen! How lovely it must be to be so utterly sure of oneself. And to give each sentence its own paragraph to emphasize its profundity. Quite marvellous!