To not want to attend church with family that I am staying with?

[AmIbeingapain]

We are visiting some family members in a couple of weekends. They have talked about us all joining them in church on the Sunday morning. I don't want to go, I understand they want to go, and I'm happy for my children and partner to attend if they want to but I don't want to. But... I am a guest staying in their house over the weekend, so don't want to be mega rude either.

Is there a debretts guide for this sort of thing, or should I stick to my guns? It is going to be a mega stressful weekend anyway as we really don't see each other very often and have very little in common, and I know I will end up having to counsel DP for days afterwards as the relationship between him and the family is vexed.

I wouldn't go, but I'm an atheist and would tell them that. I'm not sure I'd bother visiting them either if neither of you like them. If my husband got in that much of a state after seeing any of his family we just wouldn't go.

you know what?
I go to church every single week without fail.

If I have guests, I say to them that they're welcome to join us (as we'll all be there and they'll be left in an empty house if they don't)
I give them the choice.
I would expect to have the same choice (as I'm an adult, you know) at other people's houses.
I would usually say "yes".

I have had guests who have said "no thanks" and in that case, I have given them a set of keys, told them to help themselves to whatever they need (including shower and food etc), and to come and go as they please.
Then told them approx time of return.

I would expect anyone to extend me the same courtesy. Same as if they invited you to the pub and you didn't want to go, or anywhere that they go. You don't have to go with them, it's not impolite to say "no thank you" and if they don't see it that way then it's them who are being impolite.

I was raised a Christian and still consider myself to be one, I believe in God, I pray, and I try to be a good person.

However my relationship with God is a personal one. I loathe organised religion and I hate church services. No way would I want to attend church in your situation.

I think you should thank them for the offer to accompany them, but tell them you would rather not attend. I don't see how they could be offended by that.

Sounds like he might be trying to remedy that. You might also find you don't know him as well as you think.