To be very upset that the teacher forgot ds's birthday today?

[Ouluckyduck]

he is six today and has special needs. He had been so excited - " I will give out the sweets today Mummy, they will sing for me Mummy"

I gave her the bag of sweets in the morning and he wore a badge saying "I'm six". When I picked him up at the end of the day he was rying his eyes out, so upset because his birthday hadnt been acknowledged at all. His teacher said "sorry we'll do it tomorrow" but in a very lofty way. I then said "it means so much to him you know" and she said well he might be "creating" now but he'll be fine and she just forgot, he should have reminded her. Which makes me think she doesnt know or understand him at all, he wouldn't know how to remind her, he hasn't got the verbal or social skills! We had a nice afternoon then and he is fine, but I still feel really cross about it.

Pinkflipflop, I understand what you're saying, but in this case there is a full time TA, it was just a bag of mini haribo sweets, and all the children in the class were invited to the.party!

So, was it all done properly today?

He wasn't at school today because of a hospital appointment. We will have to see what tomorrow brings.

Poor lad. I hope it works out tomorrow.

The miserable cow What's the point of making a fuss of his birthday the day after his birthday?

This made me cry a bit. OP please tell me she remembered today

Parents should not be allowed to send in cakes. Sweets yes. I feel sorry for the OPs child. Hopefully the teacher will celebrate it tomorrow.

And thankfully, 6 year olds tend to get over being upset fairly quickly. He will probably forget about it once a fuss has been made of him at home.

Waiting to find out if it was dealt with nicely today!

YANBU. The teacher should have apologised to you both and then said to your DS directly that she'd make up for it at the earliest opportunity.

Also waiting to see if he got to celebrate today. Poor lad.

I wasn't aware that it was in a teachers job role to remember a childs birthday? Her job is to teach the children. Not to remember their birthday.

No one asked her to remember the birthday. The OP reminded the teacher in the morning. All that was expected of her was that she would do the same as she has done for every other child so far this year and set 5 mins aside to sing happy birthday and give the sweets out

I expect teachers of young children to have a bit of understanding about these things.

Which makes me think she doesnt know or understand him at all, he wouldn't know how to remind her, he hasn't got the verbal or social skills!

If the child in question doesn't have the social skills and VERBAL skills to remind his teacher about his birthday then how did he understand that she had forgot? Because if he cant understand how to talk to his teacher how did he manage to get so upset over somthing he cant understand??

Oh dear!

My son's got forgotten one year. What's more, the sweets he took in got put in the tombola for the Christmas fair!!

He was a little older though, and no special needs, but was still a bit hurt. It has turned into quite a story now though, "the year his sweets disappeared"...

Poor little guy! Happy birthday to him from me :)

WhyDontYouMindYourOwnBusiness re: your first post, then perhaps you are also unaware that part of the job of 'teach(ing) children' of this very young age, is to support them in their emotional and social development, by encouraging - ooh, let's pick a few personal qualities and attributes at random here - let's say: kindness, friendship, sharing, generosity and joyfulness.

Oh and another aspect of the job of 'teach(ing) children' you may be unaware of is promoting an understanding and awareness of common traditions and customs. Again, I'll pick one at random... I know: the celebration of birthdays. Anyone who has set foot in a Reception classroom in recent years would know that acknowledging the birthdays of the children is, quite rightly, routinely woven in to a normal school day. The OP's and her son's expectations are entirely normal and justified.

RE: your second post. Your crashing lack of empathy in this situation is beggars belief! Are you actually asking the OP to describe her son's special needs? This reads as if you are challenging her over her understanding of her own son's capabilities? For what? In order that you can weigh-up whether or not a barely six year old has the right to be upset that he didn't get to do what the majority of his classmates did on their birthdays?

That's a bit rubbish of her - I teach secondary and will always at least say a cheery happy birthday to kids wearing birthday badges.

Euphemia I guess the teacher in question just doesn't like the child then :)

If the child in question doesn't have the social skills and VERBAL skills to remind his teacher about his birthday then how did he understand that she had forgot? Because if he cant understand how to talk to his teacher how did he manage to get so upset over somthing he cant understand??

whydontyoumindyourownbuisness I imagine the OP's DS has the cognitive skills to understand it's his birthday, but doesn't have the expressive language skills to tell the teacher during the day that it's his birthday, don't forget my sweets etc. Cognitive skills and language skills are linked but not necessarily at the same level in a child.

OP, hope that the teacher did something about DS's birthday today, I wouldn't be impressed either. Glad the SENCo talk was useful. Hope you're back to let us know what the teacher did!

WhyDontYouMindYourOwnBusiness:

"Did i ask the OP to describe her sons special needs?" Yes, you did, right here: "how did he understand that she had forgot? Because if he cant understand how to talk to his teacher how did he manage to get so upset over somthing he cant understand??"

HTH