to think 41 isn't too old?

[moogster1a]

Told DM on Saturday that I'm pg. ( due December). She told my sister whose response, according to DM was to be "just flabbergasted". When I asked why, she replied because of my age, obviously. I'll be 42 when lo is born and have 2 dc age 5 and 2 so it's not like it's a huge gap and no one would have expected it.
She went on to tell me of 3 other people she told, all of whom apparently said words to the effect of she must be mad at her age etc.
Surely it's not that bizarre an age to be pg. Really pissed me off as if I'm being freak granny mum.

I don't think it's too old. My friend had her twins at 41 and she is a fantastic mother with a very young attitude. I am ten years younger than her (with a child the same age) and I can't see any difference in how much energy we have with our kids etc.

I know a couple of other people who had kids in their forties and everything was fine.

congratulations moogster

theres a whole bunch of us at 40 Towers you are very welcome to come and join us .......

Congrats! Fab news. Nonsense about age. We are YOUNG I tell you!!!

No way are you too old. Sometimes, people live in a very set environment where people retire at a particular age and they die relatively early (in their 60s and 70s) so to them, 41 seems old. I hope I don't offend anyone but I see this more in working class areas among the ones who haven't educated themselves. The people who think like this often live in a very small bubble, barely venturing to other places, socialising with the similar types of people and resenting other ways of life.

If you're 41 and members of your family lived into their nineties or nearly a hundred, then you're not even half way through your life! Back in the 1980s, it was extremely rare for people to live beyond 100, now it is just rare - I know of a couple of 102 yr olds!

Someone who is thirty may know friends and relations who drank and smoked a lot and died in their 60s. They might be halfway through their life already. It's all relative. None of us know what's around the corner but look after yourself and there's still time for a lot of fun with your children!

My grandmother had my mother at 39. My g-grandmother on my paternal side had my grandmother at 42 and that was in 1910. We have better medical facilities, advice and nutrition now so the chances should be better.

She sounds bitter and jealous.

Forgot to say, congratulations too!

Congrat's Op .

I had twins nearly 16 years ago and was classed as an 'old mum' at 34 who needed 'special care', dont know why as I'd already had two other kid's no problem. Had a healthy pregnancy delivered at 37 weeks no pain relief, no problems couldn't see why they were making a fuss tbh. Thankfully things have moved on and it's not unusual to have kid's at 40 plus.

Congratulations, moogster. I had my first at 40, and I can tell you that even at 50 I entertained hopes of having another. Not to be, unfortunately.

You lucky, lucky, woman. Don't let the nitwits get to you.

COngratulations Of course it isnt too old you have a LO already why not another, I am 41 but i have a 19 and a 14 yr old i couldnt have another baby now I don't think i would have the energy

Congratulations :) I had mine DC at 41 and 44. I wish I'd been able to start younger - would have loved more children, but I'm very happy to have them. 41 is most definitely not too old - 61 would be too old.

Oh my post is a bit OP you will have bags of energy just i have been a mum for 19 years im just tired now

I really miss having a small one around - it's odd, giving away all the baby stuff, but I think at 48 I would pesonally is just a little bit too old!

Hey, congratulations !

I had my two at 34 and 36, and think what's another 5 years ?

You've already done the slightly tricky bit of getting pregnant - Hopefully plain sailing from now on

I agree it's a generational thing. Apparently when my Mum had me at 29 (in 1965) they classed her as an older Mum ! Times have changed - Your DSis should keep up !

Congratulations. I'm 41 too with a 6 and a 4 year-old, and I'd love another one! I don't feel in the least bit too old (knackered perhaps, but not old). Unfortunately DH isn't so keen sigh.

Congratulations!
I had my eldest two in my late twenties. When I had my eldest daughter at the age of 26, people told me I was too young! So you can't really win.
I gave birth to our third daughter 6 months ago aged 38, and have so much more energy and resources (ie money) now. I'm enjoying it much more. Having done young (ish) and older Motherhood, I prefer the older option personally. My Mother and grandmother had babies in their 40's. My grandmother lived to 90 and my Mother is late seventies and going strong.

Congratulations!!-You are in no way too old!! I have a couple of friends who started their families in their 40's. One friend has 3 and is still trying for a 4th and the other had 2.

I would love another one-3 already!-but at 46 dh thinks he is too old This was not helped by bil comments when we announced number 3 dc-about how glad he was to be out of the baby stage now,nappy changing and what had dh got himself in for ha ha ha.Yes he is a huge TWAT.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy!

If your too old so am I - I'm in my second trimester and haven't told anyone because I am expecting exactly this sort of reaction tbh.

Congrats!
I was 22 when I had DS1 (I was too young )
I was 42 when I had DS2 (I was too old )
There's just no pleasing some people!

Yanbu. I'm 44 and have a 5 month old daughter. We are a very happy family. My obs gun asked me yesterday if I was planning the next one and said "of course you're not too old" :)

Obs gyn.

Congratulations!!

I'm late 30's atm but have lost 2 this year and it is now clear it will not be an easy road for me to carry a baby. Lots of people (who don't know about the trouble we are having) keep asking me if we want children as i'm getting too old to get pregnant which i try to ignore but still scares me. So your thread and all the lovely replies have really cheered me up. Way to go girls!

Also someone keen to 'piss on your cornflakes' is very, very funny.

Re conversations with DM that include the line 'Your sister says'.......I have had to stop this for my own sanity. The worse one for me is when she rings up and says 'Don't tell her i've told you this, but you've really upset your sister'...so now i know but can't do anything about it.

I had a conversation where I told her i would no longer listen to her when she reported what someone else said about me, (nicely but firmly), and she took no notice of it, obviously, but it made me feel it is fair enough now to just stop her the moment she tries it every time and it has really helped my emotional life (not to mention the relationship with my sister!)

Perhaps you could nip it in the bud now so you don't have to listen to this rubbish all the way through your lovely pregnancy? :)

Such a shame people reacted like this. After years and years of trying my sister & her DH had their first (and most likely only) DC last year - my sister was 43 when my gorgeous little nephew was born. Nobody mentioned her age, we were all far far too excited and happy. Congratulations!

For goodness sake , women have always had babies in their forties - fertility rates for this age group are surprisingly constant over time, despite what the Daily Fail would have you believe...

www.gro-scotland.gov.uk/files1/stats/scotlands-population-2002-the-register-generals-annual-review-148stedition/j9085b05.htm

I love how people assume that once you hit 35 you have "less energy" for looking after children - personally my 20-year old self would have buckled under the strain of broken nights and sleep deprivation in a way that my late 30s persona hasn't, having survived an awful lot more things prior to having children!

My sister was 51 in january this year and in feb gave birth to twin girls !!! so you are only a spring chicken compared to her !

Congratulations, not too old at all. DD was born 3 weeks before my 41st birthday. We are now 8 months and 41. All fine. I am among the older mums I know (also have a 3 yo DS) but not the oldest.

People will make daft comments, because it is only really in the last generation or so that people have commonly been having babies in their forties, and because at 41, it is perfectly feasible to be a grandparent.

Doesn't bother me at all.