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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how people who shag strangers cope with...

133 replies

Herrena · 11/06/2012 21:00

....the level of grooming required? I have been thinking about this since I saw Quantum of Solace and Prometheus last week (both of which contain people getting it on on the spur of the moment)

Seriously, I'd need about 24 hours notice before I considered myself presentable enough to shag a random hottie - I mean bikini wax, legs smooth, armpits smooth, hair looking presentable etc! I usually take an, ahem, relaxed attitude to this level of personal maintenance Blush

Am I unusual in thinking this way? Does anyone else ever wonder about this?

OP posts:
Wilding · 13/06/2012 05:29

In my experience, men don't care two hoots whether you have stubbly legs/underarms/bad hair. If I want to have sex with someone I'm not going to say no just because I haven't fake tanned or vajazzled. No-one's ever complained (and if they did they'd be out of my bed sharpish!)

I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem - surely you'd have to be quite insecure to assume that someone wanted to shag you because of your perfect grooming rather than your personality/nice face/good legs/whatever and that they'd run screaming if your pubic hair was scruffy?

Original poster
Herrena · 13/06/2012 08:05

I think it can be a bit circular, wilding - they may not care but I'd feel more confident if I had made at least a token effort at grooming!

After the initial 'getting to know you' part of a relationship I must confess that my standards do slip rather sharply. DH says he doesn't mind :)

OP posts:
MrsFruitcake · 13/06/2012 08:11

I've been married 10 years but I still maintain 'tidiness' as I did when I was young, free, single and very much up for it. I shave and moisturise most days, and wash my hair every day.

I like to look nice for my DH - is that wrong?Grin

CharlesDickends · 13/06/2012 08:43

I never really did the casual sex thing so no maintenance required. But DH and I had quick afternoon sex last week (very rare); daylight and everything.
I had a lump of cheddar stuck to my bum apparently.
I'd had cheese and crackers in bed the previous night Blush
I am a sex goddess.

Wilding · 13/06/2012 08:58

Grin CharlesDickends

Herrena yes you're right I think about the confidence thing - certainly I'm more confident when I think I'm looking good. Although TBH alcohol can have the same effect Blush

CharlesDickends · 13/06/2012 09:23

Wilding; he stopped "mid action". Flourished the cheddar saying "I thought I'd married a real princess; after the pea in the bed test ?????? Kindly explain how you can walk around for the whole morning with half a pound of extra mature in your knickers."
Then he did the Forrero Rocher accent , "Oh madame you are spoiling me... where exactly have you stuck the gorgonzola pour l'apres sex snack...."

hairytale · 13/06/2012 09:38

YABU. Why do you have to do all that grooming Confused

ShellyBobbs · 13/06/2012 09:45

Thistledew Snap! I used to leave the shaving if I felt I was on the upper quota that year for stranger shagging Grin I can't look back and say I ever pulled a hottie though, nowhere near actually Blush, thank goodness I've got my lovely hubby now, I'd hate to go back to that life :)

ShellyBobbs · 13/06/2012 09:48

CharlesDickends hahaha 9 1/2 weeks?

ThePsychicSatsuma · 13/06/2012 09:50

solidgoldbrass hilarious.
skid marks in your knickers !!!!!

Whatmeworry · 13/06/2012 09:50

Hands up all those who had a staranger shag come to an undignified end due to lack of sufficient grooming.

Thought not....

imnotmymum · 13/06/2012 09:52

I am always perfectly groomed for action Wink

imnotmymum · 13/06/2012 09:53

and ready for action I mean ... see overcome with thoughts of bond

BegoniaBigtoes · 13/06/2012 09:59

Well it hasn't happened often - only two actual one-night stands in fact, plus instances of getting it together at the start of a relationship - and not for many years, but I didn't really give it much thought. A ONS or similar encounter (i.e. snog and fumble!) would only tend to happen after a party or some other night out so I'd be reasonably primped, and in those days I had time to think about matching undies. Never worried about trimming my bush or anything, au naturel all the way.

The men concerned seemed suitably happy/grateful! Never had any complaints.

Like SGB I don't think most men actually care that much. And if I had ever encountered a man who had gone "urgh you haven't waxed your entire muff off, I am disgusted!" I would have kicked him out of bed forthwith.

NicNocJnr · 13/06/2012 10:36

Good Luck Erik Thanks

Tbh the bits DH starts kissing aren't hairy and by the time he gets to the bits that are enough blood has drained from his brain he no longer gives a single hoot. He's never been fussed because like others I set the standard, he chased me for 2 weeks months and I've always not given a shit. I'm such a lady!
I shave when I can be bothered and for special occasions. I'm not crazy hairy though so I do tend to get more mileage out of a razor.

But on a more serious note - Daniel Craig? Really? everything about him is so...so arseholey. Do not want, you can has him!

EmmaY1 · 13/06/2012 15:32

I am ready, any strangers out there? Tried normal people their not interested!

squoosh · 13/06/2012 16:34

Has anyone ever gone off someone pre shag due to hygiene issues? I'd always assume women pay more attention to being a bit more spick and span and shag-ready.

I was once all ready to go with a gentleman acquaintance until I popped into his bathroom. The toilet was coated with shit and pubes. Put me RIGHT off.

Bunbaker · 13/06/2012 16:53

"20 years ago when I was single I think the level of intimate grooming was much less. I hear that 'down there' nowadays requires maintenance. hmm Thank goodness I wasn't expected to do that! blush"

In my case it was over 30 years ago. I think it is sad that young men nowadays expect girls to always look prepubescent.

cece · 13/06/2012 21:53

I agree - I think it is a bit creepy that men expect/like it!

samandi · 14/06/2012 09:02

I agree - I think it is a bit creepy that men expect/like it!

Ah, here we go ... and why is it "creepy" to like it?

I think it is sad that young men nowadays expect girls to always look prepubescent.

Shaving your bits doesn't make you look prepubescent any more than shaving your legs does. There is a quite noticeable difference in the appearance of a 10 year old's labia and that of a grown woman, shaved or not.

Whatmeworry · 14/06/2012 09:58

I agree - I think it is a bit creepy that men expect/like it!

I think its bollocks. Its the pussy that interests them, not its fur (or not)

expatinscotland · 14/06/2012 10:02

Back in the day, I was pretty well-groomed all the time. Still am, but without the shagging strangers part Wink.

peanutbutter38 · 14/06/2012 10:05

am off to the docs in an hour for coil check up and felt the need to tidy up my undercarriage. Not sure why. The GP is hardly going to faint at the sight of pubes I hope

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 14/06/2012 11:38

I did once run out on a ONS because the bloke was decidedly grubby round his bits. He dropped his pants and a certain pong je ne sais quoi rose up in a green foetid cloud and I said "ooo I'm sorry, I must just nip to the loo" and legged it, with my shoes in my hand and my knickers in my pocket...

Bertrude · 14/06/2012 11:42

In my younger, single days I always made sure when I went out I was well groomed, bed was freshly changed and the house was nice and tidy, just in case of 'company'.

Not that I ever ended up having blokes back, and it would just piss me off when all the girls would come back pissed as farts and mess up my tidy house