to think that there is worrying about money and then there is worrying about money?

[bogeyface]

My parents (baby boomers, yes yes I know!) have been dealing with a situation over the last year that may mean early retirement by about 2 years (they are in their 60s but hadnt planned to retire until 65). I realise that this has altered their financial situation but I am finding it harder and harder to keep my mouth closed when mum talks about their money "worries".

To me, money worries means having to cut right back, worrying about paying bills/rent, food, clothes, shoes etc. It does not mean worrying about not being able to have 2 foreign holidays a year.

If I had genuine money worries I wouldnt be spending £2.5k on a weeks holiday (booked after this all came to light btw) which they are currently on.

I dont resent them their money, its theirs and they have worked for it, but I wish that they would appreciate that having to cut back slightly on a lifestyle that they like is totally different to living under the threat of redundancy and losing your home (as we are). It seems very insensitive to me that she doesnt see the difference. They are mortgage free, so no housing costs either. Mum has been moaning alot about possible changes to public service pensions (which wont actually affect her now, I just think she likes moaning) despite her having a really REALLY good final salary pension that puts her way ahead of alot of people her age, never mind the rest of us!

Mum especially seems to think that if you are struggling then you just need to work harder. She agrees in company that things are terrible with no jobs etc but I know that she thinks that actually most people just dont try hard enough.

WIBU to ask her to put a sock in it? I might not put it quite like that though

"Your nephew on the other hand is going to have major problems as he gets older."

Sadly, he´ll probably find someone who´ll put up with him.

Equally sad that he hasn´t worked out that his dad is a twat & he would rather not be like him.

I rec

I recOmmend don't talk to your parents much hen it will buy you less.

My my thinks how much money you have is a true measure of how worthwhile you are as a person. Most unattractive!

Typo - then it will bug you less

Blasted Phone
My mum thinks
Frankly I have just typed a meaningless error ridden mess. Apologies to all...

OMG - its at times like this i blardy love mumsnet!

this is my life - only that i only have 1 brother i would swear we are all related

i could write a book on pensioner poverty :)

i daren't start i will implode :)

and breathe

definitely seems to be memory loss with this generation (i remember being kept off school as my only outfit hadn't dried overnight, so not like we were rich growing up)

Good grief. Your family sound a nightmare Zukie

You sound lovely, and your children too.

zukie, why do you still have anything to do with these people? They sound like they bring nothing to your life.

Agree with caramel waffle. You and your family sound lovely zukie. My 17 year old niece is doing animal care at college at the moment.

My Mum doesn't do it, but my neighbour does. She lives in a 7 bedroom house, 3 kids at private school, SAHM. Always on her cross trainer or out shopping. 6 weeks in Spain every summer 3 cars for the 2 adult household. Always having the house decorated and redecorated. She is always banging on about 'how little money' they have and how 'busy' she is.

I work full time, and have 2 kids as well - I am always tired and always skint... and I think she should SHUT TE FUCK UP with her moaning about her life. Then again. I HAVE a job and two lovely kids, where others who want one can't get one/have kids..so perhaps I should STFU too!

Oh my niece is loving it too. She cant wait to go on placement. Good luck with everything zukie. You and your kids sound lovely xx

I think people tend to only compare themselves with others of the same generation. Perhaps in their eyes, you're still young with a lot of earning potential, whereas they aren't

I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt! I hate it when people moan about money when they blatently have loads more than me!

We get this from our parents too it just makes me want to set fire to stuff in pure frustration.

When i was really struggling once my dad had a go at me for not buying plants for the window boxes. When i said i couldn't afford it, he pissed himself laughing. He absolutely refuses to believe that there are many who can't just spend £50 on plants (he also thinks having flowers in your garden is some kind of recognised human right, or at least on the essentials of living list). And 'no one is that hard up' apparently. To them they are cutting back if they only buy 4 different cheeses for after dinner.

PILs are loaded - Mortgage free and living off interest, they 'made' their money in the 80's with buy to let rental, then selling when the market had inflated itself beyond anything reasonable. They are convinced however that they have worked harder and had it tougher than everyone else - They moan constantly about money and are obsessed with it. They spend all day watching their shares fluctuate. They don't have heating on but sit in duvets because they 'are poor'...i can't go on as it's making me too angry.

It's for this reason i think the free bus passes and fuel allowances should be means tested. I know so many retired people who do not need them and yet have them, when others are struggling so much.

Nothing to add really, we're in the same boat.

The only thing I would say to all the BB sympathisers is that, yes, it must be pretty alarming knowing that the money you have in the bank is all you have to last you for the rest of your life....

But the next generation are going to have far less in their bank accounts (on the whole) than the current retiring generation to last us. And most of us recognise that, which makes the moaning about "oh I don't know how I'm going to spend my time when I've retired. I'm really worried about it. " and "Oh we're going to have to go on a slightly less expensive cruise this autumn, our spring cruise was so much more expensive this year, what with that and the fortnight in the south of France...." ever so slightly galling.

Where I live is BB central - whenever you drive past the huge houses and think "I wonder who can actually afford to live in these houses nowadays...?" you see the elderly owners pottering around the front garden and think, oh yes, it's them. Where we live it's widely recognised that the over 60s are the only ones with any money - yet all the 'special offers' are still aimed at the over 65s!

Big GGGRRRRSSSS!

I agree spuddy and zukie.

My mother claimed her free bus pass when she turned 60 because she was "entitled to it". Which is fine except that she works almost full time, drives a car and hasn't caught the bus in the 25 years she's been working.

The thing is, she doesn't realise that free buses passes are free in the way the NHS is free, you don't pay for it at the point of use, but taxes pay for it. Hers is getting paid for whether it ever gets used or not.

My boss claims a free bus pass - he drives a flash BMW so never uses the bus, works full-time, earns over double my wages yet I do all his work, and is rolling in dosh. He and others like him (BB central here just like Folkgirl) drive me dotty.

On the other hand, my GD, possibly a year or 2 older than traditional BB'ers, is the most down-to-earth person I know when it comes to money. He used to be a magistrate in a rough part of London so has seen it all. He has enough to tide him over but is the most generous person with his time and money. I love him deeply

YANBU to expect people to be sensative to others i.e not bitching about a thorn in your finger to a person about to have there leg amputated.

but yabu if you expect them to not winge about it at all. this is england and we have a good given right to moan about everything especially rain and queing where no queing is about to happen we can moan about the possibility that we may one day have to que or we once knew a friend whose next door neighbours best mates sisters auntys dog walkers brothers wife had to que failing any possible queing of any description or the fleeting relationship to any potential queey then the only topic we have left thats socially acceptable is the sordid topic of coin.

however i do really feel for those of you who have those types of parents and thank my lucky stars that my mummy is lovely (roughly translated as she buys me stuff when im desperate as well as loves me lots)

One of my friends has been out of work for 15 months after being made redundant and just cannot get another job, despite applying for anything and everything.

Her parents (both in early sixties) reckon that she is being lazy and probably not looking properly! Apparently her Dad said that if he was to go out and look for a job tommorrow, he would definitely have one by lunchtime!

Maybe in their day this would have been possible, but as I told my friend, if he wants to try, than I for one would love to see it!

I think she should challenge him!

Me too! I think all baby boomers who have this attitude should be made to do something like this, so that they can learn about the realities of life for younger people these days and appreciate how lucky they are!