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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call back MIL & let her know i heard her...wwyd

171 replies

VIX1980 · 08/06/2012 18:09

Dp just called to let me know he had gone to his mums on his way home from work, i asked him to pick up a lamp id borrowed her last year (and have been asking for back ever since), that was that, said goodbye and then asked him if he was having his tea there or not, he obviously didnt answer as he thought he had hung up so i shouted it again.

i heard him asking his mum if she had my lamp, she said she didnt know/thinks it might of got broken or borrowed to someone else (its not a cheap lamp, and shes never mentioned any of this to me), then she asks him if the house is ready for the baby yet (shes here every weekend so only saw it herself on saturday just gone), I then hear her saying they should google how to prepare your house for a new baby - for the nxt 5 mins i heard her basically slagging me off from everything to cleaning, decorating, tidying etc, How i shouldnt plan on breastfeeding as its selfish and wont give her or anyone else a chance to bond with the baby, how she is planning on being at our house when i come home (she apparently couldnt handle coming to the hospital Confused ). Then she went on to say that although my mum had been good buying our pram etc she wasnt much use around the house doing cleaning or cooking so she would come round every day to help out. i hung up then cos i was close to tears.

for what its worth shes a smoker/drinker cooks everything like its a challenge to use as much oil as possible, cleans with a ciggie in 1 hand and a bottle of bleach in the other, she helped out doing the washing recently after just bleaching the kitchen floor, needless to say she declined to use the washing basket instead threw everything onto freshly washed floor so all my clothes were ruined with bleach marks, then just laughs when i went mental and had nothing to wear.

im 39 weeks pregnant, on crutches for severe spd, up until last wk i was ok and even decorated the living room, wallpaper and painted, dont the hall downstairs and painted the stair skirtings so ive not been sat on my arse either, only finished work 3 weeks ago too, I dont know if im being over sensitive, i think shes out of order, we arent the closest of people but i respect her, shes my dp's mum and it really hurts to know what she really thinks of me, wwyd.

OP posts:
Haemadoots · 08/06/2012 18:43

Yanbu she sounds awful and very jealous of you.

DamnBamboo · 08/06/2012 18:44

Aribura I realise that now.
I didn't actually know that.

Queenofcake · 08/06/2012 18:44

Ooops sorry OP - Just re read and seen you have text your OH.

Let us know the response. I hope he tells his mum you know what has been said. Doubt he will tho - blokes like a quiet simple life!!

ChocolateTeacup · 08/06/2012 18:46

Blimey! Did he respond?

femalevictormeldrew · 08/06/2012 18:48

I am not always in the "blame your DH he should have spoke up" brigade, for the simple reason I have one who wouldn't usually stand up for me against his mother. But on this occasion, if it was my husband, he would be needing an undertaker when he got home. If mine sat by and allowed his mother to say all that, I would never forgive him.

Good luck with your pregnancy and your little babby, exciting times for you so don't allow it to be spoiled x

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 08/06/2012 18:51

I agree you need to be icily, calmly, scarily furious with both dh and mil and let them know that things are gonna change .....

Op let us know how it goes.

fryingpantoface · 08/06/2012 18:52

Best of luck op

StealthPolarBear · 08/06/2012 18:53

"VIX1980 Fri 08-Jun-12 18:19:34
To be fair to him he was telling her about the stuff ive been doing in the house, we bought it last yr have completely renovated it and are on the last bits nowadays so just painting and stuff,
"
He shouldn't have been telling her about stuff you'd done he should have been telling the evil bitch to STFU

TidyDancer · 08/06/2012 18:55

Bloody hell. She sounds utterly vile. She would not be setting foot in my house without a grovelling apology and would certainly not be allowed in to ruin precious first days with a new baby.

What a bitch.

Your text to your DH was the right thing to do.

Has he text back with anything yet?

Noqontrol · 08/06/2012 19:00

queenofcake I am in awe. What a fantastic way to deal with.

Hope you're getting on ok op.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 08/06/2012 19:03

GOD! Id have to tell her I heard. But I would probably wait until I calmed down!

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 08/06/2012 19:04

hope you are ok OP
YANBU - i hope you know this

good luck - if it was my MIL she would be banned from the house...

just saying..... :)

naturalbaby · 08/06/2012 19:05

I couldn't deal with the confrontation but would make a mental note of every point she said, then drop a response into conversation loud and clear:

I will be having a baby moon to bond properly with our baby - no visitors for 2 weeks, close family can come to see the baby but only 1 set of visitors each day, 1hr max. No visitors at all for the first 24hrs to allow me to recover from the birth and enjoy those precious first hours alone with my DP and our baby.
I will be EBF.

Cleaning doesn't matter, so long as me and baby are well rested and fed - the only help/support we'll need is a a meal for the freezer/fridge.

DublinMammy · 08/06/2012 19:06

Love how you dealt with your MIL Queen, OP hope your DH tells your MIL about your text and the pair of them are squirming. She sounds vile and the LAST person you need sitting there when you come home from hospital.

sparkybabe · 08/06/2012 19:08

There have been a few threads on here about new mums being 'selfish' because they are BFing.

I would really let her have it if she thought you should bottlefeed just so that she and others can bond with your baby!!!!

Dropdeadfred · 08/06/2012 19:15

Queen... What did your dh have to say???

felixstow84 · 08/06/2012 19:16

Let us kow how dh responded to txt op.
MIL sounds evil.
Especially bit about breastfeeding.

NonAstemia · 08/06/2012 19:16

Grin Grin Grin Queen you ROCK! What a brilliant way of dealing with it!

VIX I think you did right to send the text. I normally feel a bit sorry for MILs on MN, but in this case... what a bitch! I would seize this opportunity to lay down some ground rules for when the baby's born. This could turn out to be a good thing - you've got the moral high ground now. Wink

mrstiredandconfused · 08/06/2012 19:18

Omfg op Sad

Any response yet?

Thegoddessblossom · 08/06/2012 19:30

Ok REALLY need to know if you have got a response to your text yet VIX....

AlistairSim · 08/06/2012 19:30

How awful, OP.

I hope your DP comes through for you and you get a grovelling apology from them both.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/06/2012 19:31

It's been an hour since VIX was last on. I think the shit may have hit the fan. I hope you are OK.

recall · 08/06/2012 19:33

twat MIL over head with the lamp ?

Trioofprinces · 08/06/2012 19:35

Thinking of you OP - how horrible. I don't blame you for letting them know you heard, hope it goes ok from now.

recall · 08/06/2012 19:37

I loved that text Vix very well put, they will be shitting it now !