AIBU about kids not being invited to an anniversary party in the day?

[CrapBag]

Ok ok, I know. Its not my party, people can invite who they want and I am all for that. However I am slightly miffed about this.

DH's uncle and aunt have an anniversary party coming up. We got the invite and it only had DH and my name on it. I told DH that meant the kids (4 and 1) are not invited. DH didn't believe me and said he was sure they were.

I asked him to check and he finally got around to it.

I was right, they are not invited because there is going to be a barn dance with adults dancing so no young children are allowed. This is on a Sunday afternoon. I would have understood more if it was a late night party or something but it isn't.

Does this seem like a bit of a shit excuse not to invite children? Or young children as we have been told, I am taking it from this that older children are allowed to go. Surely we can control if our children are about to run in front of some barn dancing adults.

I know its nothing to do with me and its not my guest list but it just seemed a bit 'off' that family children aren't allowed for this ridiculous reason (btw ours are the only children in the family so its not like it is going to be overrun with young children running around).

yabu

go if you can/want to, don't if you don't, not really up to you how people choose to celebrate - its just up to you wheter to accept or not

oh, it's just an anniversary party, it's not like a wedding, most people don't bother with parties for big anniversaries beyond a meal with close family. Just decline.

They are only being arses if they suggest you have to go or get stroppy about declining.

ooh barn dancing, is it naked barn dancing? Is that why it is adults only? Careful with the fiddling.

Kids love a barn dance (well I did) but as you say it's not your party though you can decide if to accept the invite or not.

I do wonder if they will get stroppy about declining because of childcare. I have a feeling the issue may arise.

Ugghhh!!! Maybe it IS naked barn dancing.

YABU - their party, their choice.

I never entertain pre-school kids at home any more. With big gaps I have had many years of small children, so delightful as they can be I am just over it now. The last time we had a couple of three year olds at a lunch party it was a pita - I don't want to hear them whining, couldn't give a monkeys about what they like or don't like to eat, don't want to have to keep jumping up to make sure they are safe in my very un-small-child-friendly house while their parents relax, etc.

Your DH's uncle and aunt probably feel the same.

God, you sound charming. Not sure why it's YOUR responsibility to jump up to keep children safe in your home - surely that's the parent's job.

OP, as far as the party is concerned, I wouldn't necessarily concern yourself with whether or not the aunt and uncle are equally charming about children, but if they are not invited and you cannot or don't want to arrange childcare, then I would say don't go.

Yes, it's a bit ridiculous IMO to be so precious over a barn dance for heaven's sake, but it IS their party. I've always thought weddings and family parties that don't invite children are odd (and thankfully our family and DH's family are not like that), but society is full of odd people. Not much you can do about it.

Wow, i was better at barn dancing at 6 than most people are at 40! (ballet lessons plus more used to having to follow orders i expect)

Unfortunately YAstillBU because it's their decision. Bit of a weird decision to do something so family-friendly then exclude families, though!

And I'm bloody glad I'm not Peri's friend

peri, glad its not just me!

YABU

YABVU.

They are NBU to request no children at their party.

You are NBU to decline the invitation.

only in England! seriously, only in this country would it be OK to have a day time family bash and exclude children. ugh

It's okay in Australia too...

Just don't go. It sounds horrendous.

I far prefer the italian/spanish/middle eastern way, the kids all play together and the parents eat and get lashed (maybe not the latter in the M east!)

and of course its OK to want to do things sans kids, but if thats the case why not have an evening affair?

Yes Peri what is it with people when they enter someone elses home. They seem to think taking over their parental responsibilities goes hand in hand with offering them a brew .

My DSGS (3) arrives with his mum and dad and our house is not overly child friendly as in no safety gates/pictures ornaments not all out of reach etc etc as no children live here. The minute they walk in his dad sits talking to his dad (my DH) and she flops on the other settee just chilling basically and drinking her tea.
Muggins 'ere is left running around after their child with his constant 'I want this, I want that, catching him from doing neck breaking potential gymnastics off the window ledge or arms of the settee in the front lounge trying to reach the door handle to go upstairs or continually mopping up drinks he's spilled or prising his hands off the fridge door which he repeatedly opens to see what's in it then slams again. In the last three visits he has broken two fridge magnets, an ornament my dd bought me as a child (not fragile but he knocked it flying onto a stone fireplace) made a large dent in a newly plastered wall by whizzing round into it on a swivel chair and grazed the leather back of a bar stool doing same. Oh and did I mention the running from room to room (never walks) and screaming.

The whole time mummy and daddy have sat on their arses and called out meekly now and again from two rooms away usually ! 'dont do that 'dsgs's name'

So that'll be a YABU from me then

Why does something have to be in the evening JUST not to invite kids? You seriously believe that?

I'll be your friend Peri. Hell is other people's children.

I think its a shame not to have children invited to a so called family party, so shoot me!

if its an evening do, its more palatable IMO

YABU in so far as it's their party and their choice.

BUT YANBU to think it's a bit off not to include children to a family party which is also a barn dance. I mean children would love that. Are they not family members too? Maybe my family is different but I can't imagine any of my aunties and uncles excluding children at an anniversary party. It just wouldn't happen. They really make it.